


Growing Up BAU

by Kavi Leighanna (kleighanna)



Series: Years Universe [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 70,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1195788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kleighanna/pseuds/Kavi%20Leighanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is rarely dull when they're family's this chaotic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A TOTAL REPOST. From a million years ago. Like, 2008.
> 
> I've realized, rather belatedly, that the AO3 series set up is much more comprehensive than that of FF.net. Unfortunately, FF.net will no longer let you import to AO3, thus, I have to do it manually. Since I like the series format here so much, I'm reposting the whole series over here. Then I can add as I feel like without having to mess everything up.
> 
> As a result, I have not edited this fic since it's original posting. Mistakes are mine, wholly and completely.

Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss was good at many things. She was damned good at her job, she was fantastic at compartmentalizing and before meeting one very fussy Gabriella Catherine Garcia-Morgan, she would have said she was excellent with children. Heck, even her fiancée of three months, SSA Aaron Hotchner would have agreed without question. Gabi, on the other hand, just didn’t want to settle down.

Emily and Aaron were babysitting the small girl for the night. Penelope Garcia had been absolutely terrified to think of leaving her little baby girl anywhere, but Emily had sworn on pain of death that nothing would happen to the small girl. And she’d meant it. She knew that there were only a couple of people the blond technical analyst entrusted Gabi’s care to and one of them was definitely Aunt Emily.

“Emmy, why is Baby Gabi crying?”

And just their luck that it was a Friday night Aaron had Jack. Emily adored the seven-year-old, but with Gabi fussing, her patience was thin.

“I don’t know, Jack,” she answered honestly. “She’s not hungry, she’s not dirty...” Emily was sitting on the couch, rocking Gabi in her lap and the infant still wiggled and whimpered. Gabi, more often than not, didn’t cry.

Jack climbed up onto the couch beside her, plunking down right against her side. He’d been more than ecstatic to learn that ‘Miss Em’ly’ was moving in with Daddy. So happy, in fact, that he’d dropped the ‘miss’ from her name. He reached over.

“Gentle,” Emily reminded him softly.

Jack had been so good with Gabi since the day he’d met the little girl. He’d been absolutely enraptured by the fact that children were so tiny, that he had once been that small. He giggled when Gabi reached out and grabbed his pinky finger and Gabi stopped whimpering.

“What on earth did you do, Buddy?” Emily asked with a smile as Jack leaned over Gabi.

“I dunno,” Jack answered as he gently shook his arm. Gabi looked up at him curiously, brown eyes just like her parents blinking up through long lashes. Emily had told Derek the first time she’d seen her after they’d brought her home that she was going to be a heartbreaker.

“Just like her Mama,” Derek had replied with a proud grin.

“Well whatever you did,” Emily told Jack as she settled back on the couch with both children. “She’s quiet now.”

Jack looked up at her. “Can I hold her?”

If she was honest, Emily was nervous about letting Jack hold the infant. She took a deep breath, thinking about it. “Okay,” she said, getting an idea. She stood. “You move right into the corner, okay?”

Jack did as he was asked, eyes bright with wonder. He’d never been able to hold Gabi before. Miss Penny and Mr Derek were very protective of their little girl.

“Remember how Daddy showed you how Pen holds Gabi?”

Jack put his arms out just like Daddy had shown him. Emily leaned forward with Gabi in her arms, gently resting the child in Jack’s. The seven-year-old looked down at the baby in wonder as her weight settled on him.

“Make sure you remember to support her head,” Emily reminded him softly, her hand coming up behind his elbow. She didn’t touch him, trusted him to listen, but she was there in case something happened, crouched right in front of the infant and Jack.

A flash made them both look up. Aaron was standing in the kitchen doorway, camera in hand. “You have no idea what you two looked like,” he said, voice thick with emotion.

“Look Daddy!” Jack exclaimed quietly. “I’m holding Baby Gabi!”

“Yes you are,” Aaron agreed with a smile, coming over to stand by his family.

“She’s so little,” he said quietly. “Was I really this little Daddy?”

“Once upon a time,” Aaron replied. “You’re not so little anymore.”

Jack had started second grade the month before and seemed to be taking to it like fish to water. He had friends, he did well and he rarely got in trouble.

Emily smiled at Jack and Gabi, wishing Jack was holding his own sibling instead of someone else’s baby. But she hoped that would come in time, that some day Jack would be holding his own little brother or sister. She knew Aaron hoped the same thing. It was why they’d set their wedding date so soon and why Emily was putting most if not all of her spare energy into planning it.

She’d steadfastly refused a wedding planner and she’d been stubborn about her mother’s involvement in the whole thing. She was going to have her simple wedding, not the lavish one that their families had all but demanded. It had meant one massive fight with her mother and Aaron had been forced to tell off his own, but in the end, she’d gotten her way.

And they’d still managed to squeeze a week and a half in Europe out of both families. Emily wanted to go back to Rome, Aaron wanted to see Monte Carlo and London. They’d settled on a ten-day cruise in a suite that was bound to be lavish and too much for them. But Emily’s father Senator Jonathan Prentiss had been adamant that there would be nothing but the best for his little girl’s honeymoon.

“Emmy, I think Baby Gabi’s sleeping.”

Sure enough, somehow the little infant had managed to drop off to sleep right in little Jack’s arms. “You are a miracle worker,” Emily said as she lifted Gabi, careful not to wake her.

“What’s that?”

Aaron chuckled. “Come on, I’ll explain it to you in the bath.”

They made their way up the stairs together, Emily turning into the room she shared with Aaron as the boys headed for the bathroom. They’d set up Gabi’s playpen in their room for the night. Emily wasn’t about to take any chances by putting her in the spare room. She carefully set Gabi down, relieved when the little girl barely stirred. She hadn’t realized how long she’d been standing there until Aaron poked his head into the room.

“Jack’s ready for storytime.”

Emily smiled. “’Kay. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Instead of leaving, Aaron came further into the room, wrapping his arms around her stomach. “We will have one of those, Emily,” he told her with conviction.

“I sure hope so,” Emily responded with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He kissed her temple. “Go tell Jack a story. I’ll get the baby monitor and meet you downstairs, okay?”

She turned in his arms to kiss his mouth. “Sounds good. Pick a good movie.”

“And popcorn,” he said, watching her leave.

“Always popcorn.”

 

“Jenn?”

“Hey,” Jennifer ‘JJ’ Jareau said, looking more like a drowned rat than the stunning blond she usually was. “You busy?”

“No.” It wasn’t the first time she’d shown up at his apartment unannounced, but it didn’t make it less surprising to Dr Spencer Reid.

“Fantastic. Got a towel?”

In the four months since they’d agreed to put their friendship back on track, they’d done this a few times. Bad cases, bad dates, bad moments, they went to each other. From the way JJ was dressed he had a feeling she’d just been on a bad date.

“What happened?”

“Can I dry off first? It’s absolutely pouring out there.”

Spencer hadn’t noticed. He’d been too wrapped up in a documentary on the Hillside Strangler to hear the pattering of rain. He went to the linen closet, pulling out a towel and handing it to her.

“Are my sweats still here?”

“Top drawer, left side.”

“Thanks,” she said gratefully, kissing his cheek as she headed to the back room.

Spencer shook his head as he made his way into the kitchen. By now – and by extension since they’d done this long before their relationship and friendship had hit the rocks – he knew how JJ worked. A bad date required chocolate and though he never ate it, he’d long been in the habit of keeping some on hand. November in Virginia had turned cold fast and so instant hot chocolate mix was the name of the game. It would help with the chill she’d be dealing with too, that much Spencer knew and knew well.

She emerged not five minutes later, changed into a pair of sweats she’d left long ago and a t-shirt that had been with it. He couldn’t remember why she’d left them or the circumstances under which they’d shown up, but he knew he had a similar pair at her place.

And logically, he knew what they were doing was probably, in most circles, a little bit wrong.

But he’d allowed JJ to push. The feelings for her were still there, still strong, and he knew hers were too, but there was trust to build up between them again. He had to be reminded that she could put time and effort into something. She needed to be reminded of why she had feelings for him in the first place.

For now, friends was working.

“What are you watching?” she asked, still towel-drying her long blond hair.

“Documentary.”

“Don’t you ever watch anything unreal?” JJ teased, snatching up her purse as she passed his front door. She hung the towel on a chair and rifled through the small bag.

He watched almost in fascination. “Even documentaries have fallacies, I can only imagine how many incorrect facts are in movies.”

“That’s the point,” JJ said, emerging triumphantly from her hunt with a hair elastic. “Something you don’t have to think about.”

“How can you watch them when they’re filled with inaccuracies,” he replied as the kettle whistled. “Don’t they drive you crazy?”

“I’m not looking for them,” she answered around the elastic, pulling her hair back. “I’m watching the movie for the pure fanciful enjoyment.”

Spencer poured the water into a nearby mug, already pre-cocoa powder filled. “I can’t stop looking for all of the wrong things they’re doing. Horror movies are my favourite.”

She laughed. “They’re hilarious,” she agreed.

“The blood angles are always wrong,” Spencer continued. “And they’re so unreal.”

“But that’s what makes them funny!” JJ argued accepting the mug he held out to her. “Thank you.”

He led the way back to the living room and his documentary, watching as she curled up on the end of the couch. “We’re digressing.”

“We always digress,” she replied easily, taking in exactly what documentary he was watching. “Hillside Strangler? Don’t you get enough of this at work?”

“It’s wrong,” he responded. “So I’ve been-“

“Picking out the inaccuracies,” she finished for him. “You know, Spence, one day, I’m going to find some way to get you to just watch and enjoy a movie.”

Yeah, maybe when pigs grew wings.


	2. Chapter 2

There was ringing, ant it was driving him nuts. What was ringing doing in a nice warm dream? It took Spencer a few minutes to realize the ringing was coming from his cell phone. And his cell phone was in his room. He stumbled for it, not conscious enough to realize there had been someone sleeping on top of him and managed to get to it in time.

“Hello?”

“Remember the case I told you about a couple of days ago?”

“Becky?” Detective Becky Chard lived in Las Vegas. Spencer had met and bonded with her while the team was working a case in Vegas and he’d taken a few personal days following the case to visit his mother and ended up spending the few days with her.

“Hi.”

Spencer blinked rapidly, trying to wake himself up. “Case?”

“The one we’ve been working on with the sex crimes unit? The little girl’s death?”

He searched his brain quickly. “Yeah.”

“We found another little girl today. Yesterday, I guess.”

Spencer looked at the clock. 4am. Which would mean 1am in Seattle. “Nightmare?”

“God, Spencer…” She sounded absolutely torn. “I can’t stop seeing her when I close my eyes.”

He tried to blow out a quiet breath. He knew what that was like, had experienced his own nightmares over his years of BAU work. And though he’d never mean to belittle Becky’s nightmares and Becky’s emotions, the BAU saw the worst of the worst. He wasn’t always able to rationalize why he was having the nightmares so he could only imagine what she was going through.

“You’ll catch the guy,” he tried encouragingly.

“Will that make the nightmares go away?”

She sounded so incredibly vulnerable. Spencer hung his head. He had no idea how to help her. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder to see JJ standing above him, eyes wide and alert.

“Everything okay?” she asked softly, eyes darting to the phone.

“Someone’s there?” Becky asked almost in panic.

“JJ,” he replied quickly. “She came over, we fell asleep.” He tilted his phone away from his mouth. “Becky.”

JJ just nodded her head, but stayed close. He looked helpless, hurt and her heart went out to him. So she kept her hand on his shoulder, hoping that was enough comfort, at least for now.

“Then, um… I’ll let you go.”

Spencer closed his eyes. “Becky, no, I-“

She’d already hung up on him. He sighed as he pulled the phone away from his ear.

JJ sighed. Her hand went down his back. “What happened?”

“Nightmares,” he answered. He confided in JJ, had until things had fallen apart between them. Since they’d started to patch things up, he’d started confiding in her again.

JJ didn’t know how to reply. If she was honest, she was jealous of Becky’s close friendship with Spencer. It gave her a quiet thrill to know she was here and Becky Chard was across the country in Seattle. What she didn’t like was how his head was cradled in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. “They’re normal,” she said softly.

“It doesn’t make it any easier,” he answered. “Nothing makes the nightmares easier.”

“No,” she agreed easily. “Nothing does. Except knowing that you’re making a difference.”

“But we don’t.”

“Of course we do,” she contradicted. “For every unsub we catch, we save people’s lives, we save others from being targeted. We help families try to find closure for those they’ve lost.”

“We come in too late.”

“Spence, law enforcement comes in too late. It’s something we have to live with every time we step into a crime scene.”

He knew all of this, but for some reason it felt nice coming from someone else. He looked up when she removed her hand from his back, arching both over her head instead. He tried not to stare at the exposed skin of her stomach where her shirt had ridden up, and winced as her back popped. “We shouldn’t have fallen asleep on the couch.”

“Probably not, but I wasn’t going out into that storm,” she replied seriously. “Got a pillow and blanket I can use? We don’t have to be up at least for another three hours yet.”

“Four. Please four. It’s Friday.”

“It’s Saturday,” she corrected primly. “Blanket? Pillow?”

Spencer waved a hand at his bed. ‘Right here.”

“Nuh uh, buster, I’m not making you sleep on the couch in your own home.”

“Your back just popped so I’m not forcing you to sleep on my uncomfortable couch to hurt your back,” he replied, standing and moving around the bed to pull down the covers. “It’s a big bed. It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

They had, at her place. Her television was by her bed and they often fell asleep absently listening to the television while they talked out whatever issue they’d gotten together for. She approached the other side, pulling down the covers and crawling in. She was already half asleep by the time her head hit the pillow. She yawned loudly. “Goodnight, Spence.”

“Night Jenn.”

 

Penelope Garcia sighed as she packed up Gabi’s things for another day at the office. For the time being, Hotch had been fantastic enough to allow her to keep her baby in a small corner of her office, hidden away from everything she saw and heard. She’d gotten into the habit of keeping her door closed and locked, even when she was in there. There was always and aunt or uncle willing to watch her if she had to run somewhere. It was the only benefit to being in the same office as the people she adored and considered family.

Still, it was taxing, not only to her, but to everyone else. She hated asking them to help out knowing that they had their own jobs to do and their own things to cover. Emily always said it was her pleasure and even Derek, Gabi’s father, took her whenever he could. But she knew it was against regulations and though Strauss had said she wasn’t about to split up the team, Pen wasn’t about to give her something else to punish them for.

The only problem was that daycares were expensive. She and Derek had looked into a number of different place and where she’d thought the place was fine, Derek came up with a reason why it wasn’t and vice versa. Not to mention they weren’t about to leave their daughter just anywhere. Years in the FBI had taught them both about what kind of people were out in the world and neither of them even considered a place where the security wasn’t tighter than Fort Knox.

Which, when she looked at it, was the fundamental problem and Pen had flat out refused to let their daughter stay at the FBI daycare. If she was going to be there, she might as well stay with them. There were more people she trusted in that bullpen, most of them with access to her bunker and she wasn’t about to leave her daughter a few buildings over when she could spend time with her. She had the space, so it didn’t make sense.

But she knew it wasn’t fair to Gabi. Gabi deserved to have a place where she could stretch out on her blanket and play and the conference room, where she spent two or three hours with Daddy every day, just wasn’t going to cut it. Not to mention she knew that though Hotch adored his goddaughter with almost the same love that he had for his own son, Gabi was a distraction to the whole team.

She cursed when the phone rang just as she was preparing to take Gabi out to the car. “Hello?”

“Penelope?”

“Hi Fran,” Pen responded in surprise.

“Oh good, it is you. Is my son around?”

“He’s at work,” Pen replied suspiciously.

“Perfect, do you have a moment?”

Technically? No, no she most certainly didn’t. “Actually Fran I-“

“This will only take a second. I wanted to run an idea by you.”

What was it about the Morgan’s that made Pen tongue-tied? “Okay.”

“Derek and I have been talking about the problems you’ve been having finding somewhere to leave Gabi during the day,.”

Pen closed her eyes. She knew Derek had talked to Fran about it, but she’d hoped Fran would let them handle it. “We’re still looking but-“

“How about Grandma?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it and about how I will rarely get to see my granddaughter while living in Chicago. I looked into somewhere to stay in Virginia and it looks like there’s a few nice apartments I could at least take a look at. That way it’s someone you trust, in a place you find secure and you can pick her up at the end of the day.”

“Fran-“

“You have to go, honey. Just think about it. Talk to Derek about it. I wouldn’t mind seeing Gabi on a regular basis.”

Pen was a little shocked as Fran all but forced her off the phone. On one side, it would solve their problem of daycare. Fran could watch Gabi during the day and she or Derek could pick up their daughter to bring her home at night. And she’d pointed out every problem they’d had with other places. In fact, they were already considering transforming the basement into an apartment to sublet and that way, Fran could potentially even have her own place while still being in the same house. It would cut down on travel time and still give both parts of the family spaces of their own.

“What do you think?” she asked the infant as she picked up the carrier-slash-carseat. “Do you want to spend your days with Grandma?”

Gabi gurgled happily having just woken for the second time that day.

Penelope grinned down at her daughter. She had to admit, it was difficult to accept that such a tiny little life had come from her. Well, her and Derek, but her stomach had been home to little Gabi for nine months. The team still called her ‘Peanut’. “Well, we’ll have to talk to Daddy. I’m not sure how he’d feel about having his Mommy move all the way out here just for little old you, no matter how cute you are.” 


	3. Chapter 3

“Mother, we’ve had this conversation a million times.”

“I know, Emily, but I was talking with Gabrielle and there are some very important people missing from this guest list.”

Gabrielle Hotchner was Aaron’s mother and as much a political fixture as her mother was. Since they’d learned of the very serious relationship between their children, Emily knew they’d been lunching together and planning events.

“You picked your people and Gabrielle picked hers. It was part of the deal.”

“They are simply people we can’t afford not to invite to the wedding of our children. Christopher invited them all.”

“Christopher got married in a little hick town,” Emily reminded her mother. “Do I have to find a new church to make sure that only so many people can fit?”

If she was honest with herself, she’d already submitted to a massive reception. Since it was being funded by her parents and his she hadn’t minded all that much, especially since she knew her brother, Chris, and his wife Charlotte had planned a much more intimate gathering for the next day. It had been that particular deal that had booked her and Aaron their trip to Europe.

“Think about it, think of the people that aren’t on this list.”

“I’m at work, Mother, I don’t have the list in front of me.”

“And I’m sure it would be adorable for Aaron’s little son to be in the wedding, but do you think-“

“That is it!” She closed her eyes when she realized how loud she said it and how many people were now looking at her. Doing this in the middle of the BAU bullpen probably wasn’t the best idea. Still, it had been her mother that had called her and not the other way around. She hadn’t really gotten much of a choice on the venue of their discussion. She sighed as she stepped out into the hall, finding the closest stairwell. The last thing she needed was people listening in on a conversation as volatile as Emily was sure this was about to be.

“I’m done, Mother. I’ve let you plan a massive reception, had to spend six weeks talking you and Gabrielle down to a wedding that wasn’t one to rival English royalty and yet you keep hounding me, trying to get me to invite more and more people, to allow you to plan a massive society wedding. How many times do we have to tell you that’s not what I want and it’s not what Aaron wants?”

“Now, Emily, you’re missing the point-“

“You’re missing the point,” Emily responded sharply. “You’re making this about your reputation again, about how the family will look to everyone else. This isn’t about my wedding, about me getting married to someone I love. It’s about politics and inviting people to… I hate politics!”

“Emily Catherine Elizabeth! That is not appropriate!”

Emily almost snorted. There were things she had yet to tell her mother, like, for example, that Erin Strauss had all but told her and Aaron that they didn’t have to play politics anymore, except to keep their current jobs. And Emily had a hard time believing that the FBI would fire either one of them simply because of the team they’d built and the reputation they had. There wasn’t an ice cube’s chance in hell that either of them were going anywhere and Emily firmly believed that.

“You and Gabrielle have been turning my wedding into a political extravaganza from the beginning. Both of you have attempted to veto every decision I make and every colour or style choice that is possible to make in a wedding. Some of them, yes, I’ve bowed down to, because in the end, I guess the ceremony’s just a formality. But I am not making my guest list into a who’s who of the political world. I gave you a limit of people, Mother and you will follow that limit or mark my words you’ll be lucky to sit in that front pew with Daddy.”

She hung up, breathing hard. She didn’t much enjoy fighting with her mother, but there were things she was adamant about and one of them was her wedding. She was an introverted person by nature, so was Aaron, and it was going to be almost hard enough to debate with him writing their own vows in front of half of the most influential people in the country, let alone the enormous list Gabrielle and her mother had presented her with.

She slid down the wall, well aware that her hands were shaking with emotion, and closed her eyes. Her head impacted the wall as she knocked it backwards in frustration. She hated that this was such an ordeal, hated that she was balancing this with work alone. And she knew Jack’s birthday was coming up and Aaron had planned a whole day for his little boy. She was exhausted, she was stressed and it was starting to pile up. Sometimes even the best lost it.

It didn’t help that she hadn’t been feeling the greatest lately. There had been a couple of mornings over the last few weeks that she’d woken up feeling light headed and ill. She’d chalked it up to nothing, to stress and nerves and moved on, but it was starting to become more and more consistent. If she was getting sick it was going to make things even more frustrating and even worse. Not to mention she was a terrible patient.

She stayed sitting in that stairwell until her hands stopped shaking from temper, surprised that there hadn’t been a single person who’d tried to contact her. She’d been gone almost forty minutes when she checked her phone for the time. She sighed as she pushed herself up, trying to get her mind to focus on getting back to the consults she was working on. Sometimes, it was difficult to be a profiler. Then she had a different idea.

 

Penelope looked up at the knock on her door. “Who is it?”

“Em.”

Penelope knit her brow as she wheeled her way over to the door and opened it. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. No. Heck if I know.”

Penelope smiled as Emily made a beeline for Gabi, picking her up and cradling her close. Penelope yearned for the day Emily could be a mother herself. The older woman was so good with the team and fantastic with Gabi and Jack. She hoped she and Hotch would just hurry up. If there was anything Emily deserved, it was to be a mother. “What happened?”

“I just got off the phone with my mother.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

Penelope knew Emily and Ambassador Prentiss had been disagreeing on the many details involved in planning a wedding. It didn’t exactly come as a surprise to Penelope considering Emily’s relationship with her mother was tenuous at best. She just figured that someone’s will would have given in already. “And?”

“She wants to invite half of Congress and the entirety of the Senate.”

“Is the president going to be there?” Penelope asked, tongue in cheek as she turned back to her computers. She smiled when she heard Gabi giggling.

“If my mother has her way that could be a distinct possibility.”

Penelope snorted in laughter. She wouldn’t have this problem if she planned her own. “So have two weddings.”

“What?”

The blond turned back to face her friend at the surprised and almost fearful tone of voice. “Well, your mother wants her society extravaganza, right?”

Emily nodded slowly.

“So why not turn the reigns over to her for the huge thing and have a more intimate wedding the next night? We’re already working on a more intimate reception, and I’m sure your family has a judge friend that could do the ceremony.” It had been an idea floating around in Penelope’s head for a while as Emily became more and more stressed with the wedding plans. She and JJ had taken charge of the quiet reception for close friends and family to take some of the pressure off of Emily’s shoulders, but it seemed every which way they turned it hadn’t helped.

“Let my mother have her formal extravaganza and still have the wedding I want.”

Penelope could tell the idea was starting to grow on Emily. “Exactly.”

“Like the formal wedding is a practice.”

That make Penelope laugh. “Something like that, yeah,” she agreed. “Feel better?”

“Much,” Emily said with a smile. “Thank you.”

Penelope grinned. “Anytime.”

 

Emily went straight for Aaron’s closed door when she returned to the bullpen and managed to force herself not to just barge in. It was a good thing too, for he had a guest.

“Hey,” she greeted him, confusion obvious on her face. He looked happy, much to her surprise, and nowhere close to as severe as he did when plowing through paperwork. Not to mention he was sitting in front of his desk instead of behind it.

“SSA Prentiss, meet-“

Then Emily’s head clicked in and she realized exactly who was sitting in front of her fiancée’s desk. “David Rossi.”

The older man tilted his cheek up in a little half smile. “You know me.”

“I don’t know anyone in the profiling world who doesn’t, sir,” she responded politely. “You are very much a legend.”

“Dave is coming back to the BAU.”

Emily turned her attention to the other agent. “Out of retirement, sir?”

“I got bored,” Rossi replied with a shrug and an appreciative smile.

Emily almost rolled her eyes. She’d heard many-a-story of David Rossi’s BAU days and his three ex-wives. “I’m sure it’ll be a pleasure to work with you.”

“Did you need something?” Aaron asked, his eyes sparking in curiosity.

“Nothing that can’t wait,” she promised him. “We can talk later.”

“I should check out my office anyway, get settled in,” Rossi volunteered, standing.

Emily stepped aside to allow him passage. “Pleasure to meet you, sir.”

He shot her that little half smile again. “You too, Agent Prentiss.”

She raised an eyebrow at Aaron as he waved her to the chair Rossi had just vacated. She closed the door behind her. The team wouldn’t care which would mean the only curiosity she’d have to deal with was Agent Rossi’s. “What was that about?”

“He wants to come back.”

“After, what? Ten years in retirement? I find that hard to believe. Is he taking the unit?”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “He’s willing to work under me.”

“God that’s weird.”

“I know.” Then he looked at her. “Something wrong?”

Her smiled came back, wide and strong. “Not at all. Something’s right, actually.”

“An hour ago you looked about to explode.”

“Hmm, Mother called.”

“Ah.” Aaron was well-versed in the issues Emily was having with her mother over the plans for their wedding. He wasn’t sure he much cared, so long as he married her.

“We fought. Again. I might have threatened to withdraw her invitation and ban her from the wedding if she didn’t back off.”

“What?”

Emily sighed, her left hand coming up to rub her forehead. “I know, I know. I’m just so fed up.”

He watched her diamond sparkle in the light for a moment. There were days it was still so surreal to think that she’d said ‘yes’. “Okay, but you didn’t seem so upset coming in here.”

“Because Penelope Garcia is a brilliant woman.”

“She is,” he agreed slowly.

“We’ll have two weddings?”

That shot both of Aaron’s eyebrows to his hairline. “We’re going to what?”

“Have two weddings,” Emily repeated. “We’re already having two receptions, right?”

He’d known about that. “Okay.”

“Well, I can turn the reigns for the big one over to my mother and yours, let them plan the wedding they want, and then plan our wedding,” she explained. “Without them breathing down my neck.”

Actually, when she put it like that, it was a pretty tempting offer. He hated society as much as she did, but he would be able to put up with it for a night if it meant what they really wanted the next day. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Well, I’d have to put my foot down in some places, of course, like bridesmaids, made of honour, dresses, that kind of thing, but otherwise why not? Then you and I can have our wedding the next day, just before the reception, sign all of the necessary paperwork with close friends and family… the intimate thing we want. And then we’re not saying written vows in front of Congress and the Senate.”

“Not to mention the United Nations.”

“God, why did we have to be born into such political families?”

“The stork dropped me off at the wrong doorstep. I’m not sure about you.”

She laughed outright, unused to his often-absent sense of humour in the office. “So?”

“I think that if you are up to the idea and up to the whole thing, then it’s a good idea.”

Her smile was brilliant. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said chuckling. “Consults?”

“Working on them,” she promised as she stood and headed back out into the bullpen. She stopped just short of opening the door, turning back to him. “Have you figured Jack’s birthday out with Haley?”

Aaron blew out a breath. “We’re still arguing about the details.”

“You were a prosecutor, I’m sure you’ll come up with something creative.”

She left.


	4. Chapter 4

Derek looked down at Penelope when she shifted for the millionth time. They were watching a movie and while she did fidget, it was never this bad. Well, unless there was something on her mind. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case here. “Baby Girl, what is up with you?”

“Nothing,” she lied.

“Pen… You know how useless it is to lie to me.”

She moved away from him completely then, resting back against the other end of the couch. “Your mother called a few days ago.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Days ago?”

“You were already gone, I was just packing Gabi up to take her to work, I was half way out the door when she called…”

“What happened?” He was sitting up straight now, eyes fixed on her.

“I didn’t know you’d told her about how hard it was for us to find a daycare.”

“She told you about that?”

“Derek, she wants to move here.”

“She what?”

Penelope sighed. “She wants to move here. Well, that’s probably not the right way to explain it. She’s considering moving here to help us take care of Gabi while we’re at work.”

Stunned was an understatement in explaining how Derek felt at that particular moment. “She wants to what?”

“Honestly? It’s logical,” Penelope tried to rationalize. “She’d get to spend time with Gabi, we could go to work and Gabi would still be here when we got home. Not to mention we wouldn’t have to pay for a nanny service or daycare.”

“We’d have to pay my mother.”

“There are tonnes of ways to do that,” she reminded him. “I know it seems weird…”

“Weird isn’t even the beginning. I didn’t think she’d ever leave Chicago. And who would look after the house?”

“I don’t know, Derek, I told her I’d have to talk to you.”

“What do you think?”

Penelope sighed. “Honestly? I can’t keep bringing her into the office. As much as I love being able to see her constantly, it’s just not feasible and Hotch is going to want her out of there eventually. Who would we trust more than the team?”

She made more than an excellent point. His mother would be perfect and she did gush about how Gabi was her first grandchild. Gabi could grow up surrounded by family and they’d have someone to leave her with should Penelope have to stay overnight at the office on a case. He knew that was less and less likely to happen, but as a precautionary measure, it would work beautifully. And weren’t they thinking of transforming the basement into an apartment too?

“She can live here.”

“What?”

“Well, there’s no point in her finding an apartment when we were planning to convert the basement anyway, right?” he proposed. “She wouldn’t have to go anywhere, we wouldn’t have to pick Ellie up and we wouldn’t have to lug all of Ellie’s things. They’d all be right here.”

“You’re okay living with your mother?” Penelope asked skeptically.

“I’m thinking about convenience,” he replied. “And simplicity. I know we wanted to rent it out, but it’s already got it’s separate door.” It almost sounded like it was already a go, the way he was talking about it, but he couldn’t help it. As much as it did bother him to have his mother move all the way to Virginia for him and Penelope, he liked the idea of his mother watching Gabi. He felt much more comfortable with the idea of his mother watching Gabi. “She owns her own business so it wouldn’t be difficult for her to work from here.”

“Not with the internet,” Penelope agreed.

Derek nodded once. “Then it’s settled. I’ll call my mom tomorrow.”

 

Emily felt like absolute hell. It seemed light the light-headedness and the nausea were catching up with her when she woke to the snooze alarm. They had a routine by now. He’d set the alarm, get up when it rang and hit the snooze button. That gave Emily an extra fifteen minutes of dozing before she had to get up and face the day. When the alarm started beeping at her, however, she just buried her head further into the pillows. She breathed a sigh of relief when the alarm clicked off and felt the bed dip when Aaron sat on it.

“Emily?”

She took a deep breath. Right, work. She had to go to work. “I’m up, I’m up,” she promised, flipping the covers off of her body and moving to stand. Only to plunk right back down again as a wave of vertigo hit her. “Whoa.”

Aaron was at her side in an instant, towel still wrapped around his waist from the shower. “Are you okay?”

“Just light-headed, it’ll pass,” she promised with a weak smile. Actually, she hurt all over and standing had been a chore in itself. She took a quick stock of her body. Well, there were no chills, so she couldn’t have a fever. She could go into the office provided she didn’t throw up before they left.

“Sweetheart, are you sure?”

She really did adore it when he used endearments like that. They didn’t come out that often and it made her treasure them all the more. “Yeah.”

“I’ll go start coffee. You want toast or a bagel?”

“Toast,” she answered, ignoring the concerned look on his face. “I’m fine, I just need a minute.” It wasn’t until she was sure he was gone and downstairs that she allowed herself to almost collapse back onto the bed. The light-headedness had quite thoroughly given way to nausea. She tried to swallow it down, closing her eyes. When she thought she could make it to the shower she stood and slowly made her way into the bathroom.

She’d gotten as far as turning on the water before the nausea hit again and she was couldn’t fight it. She emptied her stomach into the toilet, thankful she’d thrown her hair into a ponytail the night before. She didn’t have the energy to raise herself to wash out her mouth and brush her teeth. She curled up in the foetal position against the cool tile floor. She did manage to flush the toilet first.

And it was where Aaron found her, cup of coffee in hand. She blinked her eyes open when she felt his hand against her cheek. “Maybe I’m not just light-headed.”

He brushed damp curls from her cheek. “Let’s get you back in bed.”

She curled into him, helping him only slightly to get her body off the floor. She hated missing work, but sometimes even she had to give up. She curled back into a ball when he settled her on his side of the bed and she was still completely surrounded by his scent. She looked up at him with a small, weak smile. “I should probably call my boss and tell him I’m not coming in today.”

Aaron chuckled slightly, stroking her head. “I think he’ll understand.”

Her eyes fell closed again. “I should have known this was coming.”

“You haven’t been feeling well?”

“No,” she replied. “And you’ve noticed.”

“You’ve been eating less,” he agreed. “You can’t afford to lose anymore weight.”

She smiled slightly wider. “Thanks.”

He chuckled, stroking her side. “You are too thin, Emily Prentiss.”

She sighed, reaching up to take his hand. It felt heavenly, soothing some of the aches pounding at her, but she knew he had to go into the office. “Bring me two Aspirin and a glass of water before you go?”

Twenty minutes later, she felt him shake her awake.

“Come on,” he urged. “Water and Aspirin.”

She fell asleep almost as soon as he left.

 

Aaron hated days without Emily. They were few and far between, especially since they worked all of fifteen feet apart, but he didn’t like it one bit. He didn’t like looking out of the bullpen and not seeing her at her desk. He didn’t like seeing an empty chair beside him during the morning briefing. He hated knowing she was at home, suffering from some flu-like bug. He loathed that she was all by herself.

Since the day looked slow he fully intended to be out of the office by lunch and home to take care of his deathly ill fiancée. Okay, not deathly, but she’d looked so terrible that morning that he’d debated calling in sick himself. But he knew Emily’s absence would raise enough eyebrows and he’d had to reassure almost each member of the team individually that she was sleeping it off. With any luck, she’d be back in the morning.

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t call her.

“Hello?”

“Hey sweetheart,” he said softly. Her vulnerability brought out the tender side of him he showed so rarely. “How are you feeling?”

“Ever been hit by a train?”

He chuckled. “Can’t say I have.”

“Neither have I, but I’m pretty sure this is what it would feel like.”

“Still achy?”

“No chills though,” she said through a yawn. “That’s a bonus.”

“Did you eat something?”

“Right now I’m lucky if I can keep down Tylenol,” she replied, exhausted annoyance obvious in her voice. “I’m currently debating just napping on the floor.”

“I’m going to try and be home around lunch,” he told her. “We’ll curl you up on the couch and watch Charlie’s Angels.”

“I hate that movie.” It was, after all, about three women kicking proverbial ass. He knew she hated how unlike real life the movie was.

“Ironic.”

“I know.”

Aaron looked up at the knock on his door, unsurprised to find Rossi there. Neither man had really gotten the chance to catch up yet and, since the day was slow, Aaron figured it would be a good day to do so, Emily sick or not. It wasn’t like he hadn’t left the office for her before. “I have to go.”

“Mmhmm, you have to work.”

“Something like that,” he said with a tender smile. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“I’ll try not to throw up on the carpet.”

“That’s gross.”

“That’s being sick.”

“Sleep.”

“It’s all I’ve been doing.”

“You’re stubborn.”

“You love me.”

“I do,” he agreed softly. “I’ll see you.”

“Love you too.”

“Bye.”

Rossi had taken a seat in front of his desk by the time Aaron got off the phone. Now he looked at his ‘student’, eyebrow raised. “Haley?”

“No, actually,” Aaron replied honestly. “Haley and I have been divorced for almost two and a half years.”

“How did I not know?”

“When was the last time we saw each other, Dave?” the younger man asked wryly, coming around to sit in the other chair. If they were going to play catch up, they were going to do it on an even playing ground.

“Dinner, five years ago.”

“A lot’s changed since then.”

“I see that. Communications coordinator?”

Though Rossi had met Emily yesterday, he’d spent the rest of the day settling it. It was at that morning’s briefing that he’d met the rest of the team. “JJ’s great at what she does.”

“I’ll bet she is.”

“Dave…”

“I know, I know. Fraternization’s against the rules. I didn’t know you were so rigid.”

“I’m not,” Aaron said, laughing slightly. Fraternization rules had once stood as an obstacle to the greatest thing in his life since Jack’s birth. Their reputation as a team had knocked it down.

“So who was on the phone? New lady?”

“If two years is new,” the younger man replied.

“You’ve been dating for two years?” Rossi asked in surprise. “That’s fast.”

“She’s a fantastic woman.”

“I can see that. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Who is it?”

Ah, the question Aaron wasn’t sure he wanted to answer. “I guess there’s a few things about this team you should know…”


	5. Chapter 5

Hours later, Aaron was stepping through the front door of his house, breathing out a sigh of relief. He didn’t often take half days, but with Emily as sick as she’d been that morning and as terrible as she’d sounded on the phone, he wanted to be home. It wasn’t like there was anything pressing he had to do in the office anyway. It was another day of simple consults, though he’d grudgingly assigned Reid and JJ to go check one out in Texas. Though JJ wasn’t a profiler, she was the top communications liaison in the law enforcement sector and the case had broken big. So while Reid worked the case, JJ would work the media. The local LEOs had been more than happy to accept any help the BAU was willing to give. Nevertheless, as a general rule, he disliked sending his team to separate places.

Emily wasn’t asleep, as he’d expected her to be when he entered the bedroom. She was awake and working, on what, he wasn’t sure. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

He felt her eyes on him, tracking him across the room until he disappeared into the closet. “I got bored of sleeping,” she replied. “And I kept two Tylenol down.”

“Food?” he asked, returning to the side of the bed, sweats and t-shirt in hand. He tried to stamp down the rush of arousal when her eyes darkened, following the path of his bare chest as he stood in front of her dressed in only his boxers.

“Haven’t tried,” she replied, mouth tilting down slightly as he slipped the t-shirt over his head and threw on the sweats. “I liked you better without the clothes.”

He chuckled, climbing onto the bed beside her, slipping an arm around her back. “What are you working on?”

“Wedding stuff,” she replied. “I still have to call my mother and yours and tell them the wedding is theirs to plan.”

“The first one.”

She chuckled, tilting her head up to kiss his cheek. “The first one,” she agreed. She leaned her head against him, still leaving her hands free to continue browsing. “And I have to call my godfather.”

“What do you need me to do?” he asked, the hand behind her coming up to pull the hair elastic out of her hair to run his fingers through the strands. She’d all but ordered him out of her way for the wedding his mother wanted, but he was more than willing to help with the second one.

“Right now, nothing. Well, that’s not completely true. Your mother is going to want a list of  your groomsmen to critique and send back to you. Don’t be surprised-“

“If she adds people,” he said with a chuckle. “I know my mother.”

“My mother sent me a list of twenty-eight more appropriate bridesmaids than JJ and Pen,” Emily replied. “I almost told her to shove it. Literally.”

“And now?”

“I’ll give her a number, tell her Pen and Jayje have to be my maids of honour and let her have at it,” she answered with a shrug. “It should limit my hell over the next couple of days and weeks. Oh, and no party the week before the weddings.”

He laughed at that. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you didn’t trust me.”

“It’s Derek I don’t trust,” she replied. “And Agent Rossi, if you’re going to invite him along.”

She’d created the perfect segue. “He knows.”

“Hmm?”

“I told him about our engagement, and about Garcia and Morgan’s.”

“Ah, fill him in on all of the team gossip.”

“Agent Morrow handed in her resignation today.”

That took Emily by surprise and he could tell. “She what?”

“She wants to leave the BAU. I saw Strauss’ assistant hounding her in the hall yesterday.”

“What did she say?”

“Her mother was sick back in Wichita,” Aaron responded. “She was going home to take care of her.”

Emily blew out a breath. “I hate politics.”

“I’ll write her a glowing letter of recommendation for whatever she does,” he promised. “She’ll be fine. I’m not sure she was cut out for some of the things we see anyway.” He’d noticed her struggling on their last few cases and though he was generally indifferent to her, he’d wondered if she was at the end of her rope.

“We all know politics played a role.”

“Honey, politics is the reason you’re on the team, the reason Dave’s back and on our team. I don’t think we’ll ever get away from it.”

She smiled slightly, waving to her computer screen. “We’re getting married twice because of politics.”

He hummed and leaned over to kiss her quickly and gently. “I’m not sure I care how many times we have to go through the ceremony. I’d elope, just so long as you are my wife.”

He felt Emily shiver. “I really like the sound of that.”

 

“Fran Morgan.”

“Mom, it’s Derek.” Derek sat in the BAU bullpen, phone pressed against his ear, heart somewhat pounding in his chest. He’d promised Penelope he’d call his mother today and start going through the process of arranging his mother’s move and stay with him and Penelope and Gabi.

“Derek, how are you?”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of the call? We talked yesterday night.”

“So did Pen and I.”

“Oh?”

“She mentioned you were thinking of moving out here.”

“Well, you’d mentioned how much of a difficult time you were having finding someone to look after Gabi and I just thought it would be a suggestion-“

“We both like it, Mom.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry?”

“Pen and I like it. We’d love if you could look after Gabi.”

“Oh.”

“We’d like it even more if you’d live with us.”

“Oh, honey, I couldn’t do that!” Fran protested. “You have so much you’re doing and you need a house for your family-“

“You are family, Mom,” Derek replied. “That way you’re close by, we don’t have to carry things back and forth for Gabi, you won’t have to stay at our house as a guest when we’re away… It’s in everyone’s favour.”

“Derek, I couldn’t.”

“We were going to transform the basement into an apartment anyway. You can live there. And there’s internet all throughout the house, you know Pen, so you can still keep your business.”

“You’re persuasive.”

Derek chuckled. “Sure, Mom. So?”

“When will the apartment be finished?”

“Probably not for another month. Hotch and Chris were going to come over this weekend to help out.”

“That gives me enough time to set things straight here and get Sarah settled into the house. She’s looking for a place. Again.”

Derek chuckled. Sarah was the more flighty of his sisters and though he adored her, he wasn’t surprised she’d decided she wanted to move.

“But I can come out earlier, if you’d like. I don’t know how long you can keep Gabi at work with Penelope…”

“I think if we tell Hotch we’ve got it narrowed down to a month he won’t mind so much. We just can’t keep her here forever. She deserves to grow up around happy things, and I’m not talking about the happy things in Pen’s office.”

“She’s my granddaughter, Derek. I’m more than happy to take care of her.”

“Thanks Mom.” He hung up the phone and looked around briefly, noticing Reid’s attention fixed on something by the bullpen doors. He followed Reid’s gaze curiously and almost choked. There was JJ, smiling broadly in the hallway, laughing at something the man in front of her had said.

And Derek recognized the back of that man’s head as David Rossi’s.


	6. Chapter 6

Emily was back in the office in a few days, thankfully only bogged down with the flu. She was glad to discover the previous day she felt almost 100 percent, but Aaron had flat out refused to let her come in. As much as she would have usually argued with him, she took the day to continue planning her little intimate ceremony. Still, it felt good to sit at her desk again, to plough her paperwork. But it was a very quiet bullpen. So quiet, in fact, that when her cell phone rang, Emily flat out jumped.

“Agent Prentiss.”

“This is killing me.”

Emily’s eyebrows came together in confusion. “Hello to you too, JJ.”

“Emily, seriously.”

“I am being serious.”

“I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?”

“Be here.,” JJ replied. “I’m going insane.”

“I’m confused,” Emily answered, standing to move out of the bullpen. From the undertones in JJ’s voice, this was not a conversation she wanted to have with Derek right there and Aaron watching from his office. Because she very well knew he did.

“I’m in Texas.”

“That much I knew.”

“With Spence and Agent Rossi.”

Emily pushed open the door to the bullpen, stepping out into the hall. “Uh huh…”

“I haven’t felt this awkward… Gosh, Em.”

“You’re going to have to speak in full sentences, Jayje,” Emily said, laughter in her voice.

“You’re laughing at me!”

“I am not. I want to hear.”

JJ sighed on the other end of the phone. “It’s been awkward since we got on the plane. Spence was… I don’t even know how to explain it, all I know is the last time I felt this weird with Spence was before we decided to be friends again.”

“Did you talk to him?” Emily asked carefully. JJ and Reid’s relationship was often considered dangerous ground. There was so much history there and many an agonizing night with JJ after their relationship dissolved the first time. Since then, though Emily knew JJ often went to Spencer when things got difficult, JJ had been adamant that they stayed away from any deep discussion, especially if it involved their feelings or their quasi-relationship.

“No.” Exactly the answer Emily had been expecting.

“Do you have any idea how this awkwardness happened?” Sometimes Emily wasn’t sure if she was a profiler or a really cheap therapist for her friends. She loved her friends, it was just often difficult to balance her own job with the drama that seemed to be attracted to her life.

“No,” JJ repeated. “We were fine when I got into work a couple of days ago and it’s been nothing but awkwardness since.”

Emily sighed. “JJ, you’re going to have to talk to him. I’m too far away to be of any help.”

“I just don’t know what I did wrong! What happened in between the briefing and boarding the jet that threw us off? I hate awkwardness.”

“I know, Jayje,” Emily said, trying to withhold her mirth at the blonde’s petulant voice. “But that doesn’t mean you can get out of talking to him.”

“Oh, hang on, Em.”

Emily heard JJ put her hand over the phone and mixed voices. She strained her ears to figure out who the other person could be mixing with JJ’s floating voice. Her eyes widened when she listened to the inflections in both voices. Whoever it was, JJ certainly was being happily friendly.

“I have to go. Dave and Spence have come up with a few theories they want to throw by the LEOs.”

Emily arched an eyebrow, some of JJ’s issue becoming clearer. “Dave?”

“Rossi, Em, come on.”

“Oh, I knew exactly who you were talking about,” Emily responded. “Have you been getting to know Dave, Jayje?” Emily heard JJ tell Rossi she’s be just a minute.

“I’m not sure I like what you’re implying.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Look, Reid isn’t exactly the most socially intelligent person in the world. You may think nothing of it, but he might.”

“And you think that would make things awkward?”

“He doesn’t want to stand in the way of you and your happiness, you know that. Don’t make him fight for you.”

“I’m not trying,” JJ said in exasperation. “I don’t want him to fight for me. It didn’t work, Em. We tried, it didn’t work.”

“So you’re moving on?”

There was a pause. “I can’t.” JJ’s voice was soft.

That much Emily was very much aware of. She’d heard from both Derek and Penelope about Reid taking JJ to a Redskins game before she’d arrived on the scene, so Emily had figured their relationship had been a long time coming. The break had only come as a surprise because Emily had truly believed both parties could work it out. “Then what’s going on, JJ?”

“I don’t know!” the blond said in exasperation. “I have to go.”

Emily sighed when she and JJ hung up before heading back into the bullpen. Derek looked up, his eyebrows knit in question. “Nothing,” Emily tried to shrug it off.

“Uh huh. JJ?”

“Yeah, from Texas.”

“Things are weird with her and Reid?”

Emily blinked. “How did you know?”

Derek shrugged. “Saw her flirting with Rossi.”

“Flirting?” Emily’s eyebrow arched upwards.

“Reid didn’t look pleased.”

Emily shook her head. What on earth had JJ gotten herself into?

 

JJ was pacing. She did it when she was anxious, she did it when she was nervous, she did it constantly these days. She didn’t like it. It was stressful as could be. And usually Spencer could sense it before it got to the point of pacing. This time, he hadn’t said anything as her stress grew and grew and grew. Something was off and JJ absolutely hated it.

“You ready to go?”

She tried to smile at Dave, but she knew it didn’t reach her eyes. “Yeah, everything’s all packed up.”

He stayed silent, even as she averted her eyes. She knew the tactic. She’d seen Hotch use it a number of times on suspects, unsubs, almost everyone. And she knew it worked. And she knew it was working. “What?”

“You’re anxious.”

JJ blew out a breath and tried for another smile. “I’m fine.”

Dave raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem fine.”

“There’s just a lot on my mind, that’s all,” JJ replied, again aiming for the breezy happiness. She almost jumped when his hand made contact with her elbow.

“Is that why you called Emily?”

JJ stepped away, carefully turning to face Dave head on. “I call Em all the time. She’s my best friend.”

“So it has nothing to do with how anxious you are now or how jumpy you’ve been around Dr Reid recently?”

Profilers. She really had a love-hate relationship with them. “What difference does it make?”

Dave stepped back, hands up in a posture of surrender. “You’re right, it’s none of my business.”

JJ ran a hand through her hair, trying to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, it’s just... stressful.”

“Then it’s good we’re on our way back to Quantico, isn’t it?”

JJ didn’t step away this time when Dave stepped closer, just to the inside of professional distance. She and Dave had done a lot of talking through their four days in Texas and JJ liked to believe they’d at least gotten to know the surface. They weren’t as close as JJ was with Emily and Pen by any means, but it was a start and he’d found a way to put her at ease almost immediately.

“JJ, what happened between you and Dr Reid?”

JJ’s head shot up and she knew that she’d given him an answer to that question without a word. Then she caught movement in the door and turned to see Spencer’s stunned face. Suddenly, a lot of the awkwardness, the complication, made sense. “Spence.” She took a deliberate step away from Dave.

“I just came to get my stuff...”

“We’re ready to go,” Dave replied, lifting the box with their report files to go back to Quantico. “I’ll meet you guys outside.”

JJ swore in her head. “It’s not what you think, you know.” He’d looked more broken than shocked seeing her and Dave standing so close. “He’s an agent.”

“You haven’t been against fraternization before.”

“He’s older than Hotch, Spence. That’s just gross.” She could feel irritation bubbling up in her again, frustration at the entire situation and her new-found understanding. Spencer, bless his heart, wasn’t the most socially-knowledgeable person in the world and JJ felt a little stupid that she’d allowed him to come to the conclusion that she was flirting with Dave throughout their case.

“I don’t care.”

JJ arched an eyebrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“You’re not my girlfriend, JJ.”

That stung. “Fine.” She picked up her bag and purse. “Then I don’t care either.”

Yet as she left, she could feel tears pricking at her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

“He hates me.”

“Jayje, no he doesn’t,” Penelope replied, her hands skimming through the clothing on the racks nearby. It was girls’ day, one that Penelope and Emily knew JJ needed above all else. Even little Gabi had come with them and was happily giggling away at Aunt Emily’s funny faces. It had been almost a month since JJ had spent a few days in Texas with Reid and Rossi. Penelope and Emily were taking turns listening to JJ say the same things over and over and over again.

“He does too.” Then she turned to Emily. “Has he RSVP’d for the wedding yet?”

“Yeah, gave me the card a couple of days ago,” Emily answered, lifting Gabi into her arms and perching the little child on her hip. She wanted to shop too and it was easier to do without the bulky stroller. It was much easier now that Gabi could hold her own head up.

“Is he bringing a date?”

Emily was quiet for a moment. Reid had indeed RSVP’d with a guest, and it wasn’t just any guest either. Apparently Detective Becky Chard was flying in for her wedding to be Reid’s date. “Yes, he’s bringing a guest.” She wasn’t about to tell JJ it was Becky. The blond had been threatened enough by her almost identical twin when they’d originally met the detective.

“See? He hates me.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “Because he’s bringing someone to the wedding? JJ, you don’t even know if it’s a woman or not.”

JJ turned her eyes to Emily again.

“I can’t remember if there was a name or not,” Emily lied, shifting Gabi slightly. The little girl was reaching out for a satin shirt and the last thing Emily was sure the store wanted was baby spit all over their clothes.

Penelope wandered over, scooping Gabi from Emily’s arms. “Maybe I should have left you with your Daddy, huh?”

“She would have distracted Derek and Fran would never be moved in,” Emily responded, taking advantage of the lack of baby to fill her arms with clothing. She knew the girls were throwing her a bachelorette party in less than a week and she’d been looking for something fun and sexy to wear for the night. She fully planned on raiding the Victoria’s Secret online catalogue too, but she wasn’t about to tell Penelope and JJ that. Aaron was their boss and as much as they indulged her, she knew they got annoyed when she shared too much of her rather healthy sex life.

“Ah, too true. I can’t help it if genetics blessed her,” Penelope said with a bright proud smile. It was an ulterior motive to their day. Fran needed to be moved in to the Garcia-Morgan basement and so the girls had headed out shopping so as to decrease the distractions. Meanwhile, it gave JJ a chance to blow off some steam, though the blond had yet to pull something off of the rack, let alone purchase a thing.

Emily watched JJ finger a pretty pink blouse and rolled her eyes in Penelope’s direction. “Look, JJ, if it’s bothering you so much tell him it is.”

“He thinks I’ve moved on with Dave,” the youngest of their little threesome replied.

Penelope raised an eyebrow as she reached passed JJ to find the blouse in JJ’s size. “Have you?”

“Ew,” JJ said, wrinkling her nose. “I’m younger than Em and Dave’s older than Hotch.”

“Couples with bigger age gaps have made it work,” Penelope replied with a shrug, pushing JJ after Emily towards the changing room.

“Who knows, maybe Reid’ll get drunk tonight and spill his guts to Derek,” Emily replied, referring to the bachelor party that had been planned. She and Aaron had both intended to have their bachelor and bachelorette parties long before the wedding and it was an executive decision on both of their parts to stagger them.

“Spence doesn’t get drunk,” JJ answered as she took the change room next door to her brunette friend.

“I’ll make a call to Derek. Even the good doctor would give into peer pressure,” Penelope said through the closed doors, bouncing her gurgling daughter.

“Maybe Rossi will set him off,” Emily volunteered as she pulled her shirt over her head. There’s been a couple of cute things she’d pulled off the rack and was seriously intent on finding something.

“Please. I’m just hoping for something that won’t happen.”

Emily stepped out of her change room, hands on hips, not surprised to find Penelope with a similar look of irritated surprise. “Jennifer Elizabeth Jareau, get out here.”

JJ poked her head out the door. “I’m in my underwear.”

“I don’t care.”

Gabi had stopped gurgling in surprise at the outburst. Emily was ticked. She was sick of JJ feeling sorry for herself and she was sick of this dance. They’d done it before their relationship started and it had taken a New Year’s kiss and a simple conversation for their relationship to take off.

“You made your choice, JJ,” Emily said, softly and firmly. “You chose to throw yourself into Pen’s pregnancy. You chose to basically shut Reid out of your life. You can’t blame him for ending it. And now, here you stand, wanting him back with everything in you and you’re not doing a damned thing to fix it. You won’t talk to him, you won’t try to clarify this with him. So here’s the deal, you either stop complaining about it or you deal with it. Because obviously telling you Reid still wants you until we’re blue in the face isn’t helping.”

JJ blinked and slowly pulled her head back into the change room, closing the door with a soft click. She pulled the pink blouse on without really paying attention, her mind definitely now focused elsewhere. Emily had made a couple of very good points. Regardless of their feelings, she and Spencer had most definitely agreed to start back at the friends stage. It was unfair for her to treat him like a boyfriend and it wasn’t fair for her to get jealous. Nor was it fair for her to continue to complain about the situation.

She buttoned up the blouse carefully and admired herself in the mirror. It was pretty and perfect for the office, but as she looked at it, and looked at herself, she found that it wasn’t what she was looking for Her mind had shifted. She had a new goal, a new idea slowly starting to form in her brain.

Spencer Reid wasn’t the only man in the world.

 

If it was any other night, any other group outing Aaron would have been having a great time. But it was very difficult to have fun, even at his own bachelor party, when Emily wasn’t around. Aaron Hotchner was meant to be in a monogamous relationship and no amount of alcohol was going to change that. It was nice to spend time with his friends in a social atmosphere, but he missed Emily. And Derek had taken his cell phone. He wanted to talk to her, just to hear her voice. Being out for his bachelor party made him think about his wedding and that, in turn, made him think of Emily.

“Come on, Hotch! We’re here to celebrate your last weeks as a single guy!”

Aaron had to give Derek credit, he was trying. “I’m perfectly fine here.”

Derek plopped down beside his boss with a sigh, reaching into his pocket. He tossed his cell phone at him. “I’ve called Penelope eight times to check on her and Gabi. Call her, but don’t make it long. This is supposed to be a night with the guys.”

Aaron didn’t need to be told twice. He was up and out of the bar as fast as he could, speed dialling Emily’s number.

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“Hey! How’s your bachelor party?”

“Not the same without you.”

Her laugh floated over the line. “We went shopping.”

“Did you get anything?”

“Mmhmm. For me and for you.”

He felt his blood heat at her implication. “Really.”

“Mmhmm.”

“When are you going home?” He knew they’d planned to head back to the Garcia-Morgan house afterwards to watch movies and eat popcorn.

“I don’t know,” she answered. “Soon, I think.”

He blew out a breath. “I miss you.”

“You’re tipsy.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re being corny.” Her voice was amused. “It’s your bachelor party.”

“It seems useless the second time through.” The words were out of his mouth before he’d thought about it. He winced.

Emily laughed it off. “You said yes. I would have been perfectly happy to throw you your own bachelor party right at home. And your stripper wouldn’t have cost a thing.”

“You’re torturing me.” He knew heat laced his voice.

Her chuckle reflected the same. “Be good for the boys and I’ll see you at home.”

He never got over how much he loved hearing her say ‘home’. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Aaron stepped back into the bar, finding Derek as he tucked his phone back in his pocket, his eyes searching out Reid and Dave in the process. He had to admit, as he made his way towards Dave that his spirits were definitely lighter. After all, he knew he had a warm, willing woman waiting for him when he made it home. What more could he ask for?


	8. Chapter 8

Aaron was concerned. Emily was, more often than not, an insomniac. She was the one agent he could rely on to be up even during the most gruelling nights. She slept, on average, five hours a night. He knew that. He’d be unobservant not to. And yet, here they all were, on their way out to a case in Colorado and she was out like a light. Usually, it wouldn’t bother him, just tell him she’d slept less than she’d have liked to the night before, but he’d fallen asleep with her the previous evening and knew for a fact she’d slept the entirety of the night away. That was very un-Emily.

Normally, he wouldn’t worry about it, just be happy that she was getting so much sleep. He worried about her sleep patterns, though he never told her such a thing and sometimes wished she’d go to a doctor to see if there was something ‘wrong’. Still, this extended sleeping pattern had been happening for over three weeks now. And it wasn’t just the extended sleep that had him on edge. She was tired constantly. Derek had caught her sleeping at her desk a few times and there’s been a few lunch hours she’d all but passed out on his office couch.

And yet she’d somehow passed out almost immediately after the plane had hit cruising altitude. He didn’t mind her head on his shoulder, would never mind her falling asleep against him. He could still work, could still go over the files in front of him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned about something so uncharacteristically Emily.

“Is she okay?” Derek asked softly over the table. He knew as well as Aaron did that Emily didn’t just fall asleep.

“I don’t know,” Aaron answered honestly. “She’s been falling asleep like this for weeks.”

“Think she’s sick?” JJ asked as she flipped through a file. “Again.”

“I doubt it,” Aaron replied, running a hand through her hair. “Emily doesn’t get sick.” It sounded juvenile, but it was true. Besides her little bout of the flu months earlier, Aaron couldn’t remember the last time Emily was sick, even with just a cold. She, quite simply, wasn’t the type.

“Sleeping is odd?” Dave asked from his seat across from Reid. Dave wasn’t a chess whiz by any means of the imagination, but he was unorthodox in his playing style. It was written all over Reid’s very confused face.

“Em doesn’t sleep,” Derek volunteered the answer. “Not usually.”

“So she’s catching up,” Dave said with a shrug, “It’s nothing to write home about.”

Emily’s laptop beeped before anyone else could reply and Penelope’s face showed up on the screen. “Is she sleeping again? Goodness me, I haven’t seen an insomniac sleep that much since-“ Penelope stopped, mid-sentence, her eyes going wide.

“Garcia?” Aaron asked worriedly.

“It’s nothing, sir,” she said briskly, tone all business. “I found a connection between your victims.”

Rachel Dross, Victoria Sutton and Jane Harper had been found dead and mutilated over the course of the previous four months. The Denver PD had called them in and in a way, Aaron was glad they had. These were brutal murders and from what JJ had been able to glean from the media, the story had taken on a life of its own.

“And?”

“They’re all Build-a-Bear collectors.”

“They’re what?” Dave asked, coming around the chairs to stand beside JJ. Both agents had continued to bond and become fast friends since Dave’s return to the BAU.

“Build-a-Bear, sir,” Penelope responded.

Aaron continued to watch the blonde’s gaze dart to the woman asleep against him. Penelope was hiding something and he didn’t like it one bit.

“It’s a children’s store,” Derek answered. “You go and actually build the bear. They stuff it for you, you pick out the clothes... Ellie’s got one.”

“And what a cute little bear Patches is,” Penelope agreed.

“And you collect them?” Dave asked in confusion.

“Not quite,” Penelope contradicted. “They have a number of different animals to choose from is all. From the credit card statements each of our girls sure has a large number of the Build-a-Bear friends.”

“The same store?”

“You bet,” Penelope replied. “So I took the liberty of looking into the employees of the store. Nada. None of them have so much as a speeding ticket, though it’s no surprise since they’d have to work with children all day.”

“Anything else in common?” Aaron asked a little shaken. He knew Jack had a bear from the store. Haley had taken him for Christmas the previous year. And he was confused as to Penelope’s broken sentence about Emily’s changed sleeping habits.

“I’m still looking. I’ll keep you in the loop.” Then she paused. “Get Em to call me when you guys touch down.”

“Will do,” Derek promised. Penelope’s face disappeared from the screen.

“Why do you think she needs to talk to Emily?” JJ asked, eyeing the still-sleeping brunette.

“No idea,” Derek replied

And Aaron didn’t have a clue either.

 

“Good morning, sleepy head.”

Emily groaned at how cheerful Penelope’s voice was. “You wanted me to call?”

“Uh huh. How much have you been sleeping?”

“Too much,” Emily answered, sighing as she glanced over at Derek in the driver’s seat. They were off to interview the staff of the Build-a-Bear, a connection Emily had almost laughed at when she found out about it.

“I bet. Eating anything weird lately?”

“Like peanut butter on pickles? No.”

Penelope laughed. “Contrary to popular belief not all cravings are weird.”

Emily froze. “What are you getting at?”

Penelope paused at the defensive tone in Emily’s voice. “Peaches, the last time I, the second insomniac on this team, slept like you was when I was pregnant with Gabi.”

Emily suddenly felt nauseous and waved at Derek to pull over. She jumped out of the car almost immediately and hit the closest bush, leaving her phone in the front seat.

Derek picked it up. “Baby Girl, what’s going on?”

“Mmm, nothing Sweetness. Just a lovely little discussion between friends.”

“Penelope...”

“Really, Derek. There’s nothing to worry about yet.”

“Except the fact that Em is currently bent double in the bushes,” Derek responded wryly. “What did you tell her?”

On the other end of the line, Penelope considered what to tell him. If Emily was indeed pregnant, than no one should know before Hotch. At the same time, Penelope wanted to make sure Emily was being careful and watched over. She knew that besides Hotch, there was no one who cared more for Emily than her Derek. She blew out a breath. “Em could be pregnant.”

Derek’s eyes widened. “What?”

“The sleeping thing? I did it too. And remember, I was barely hit with morning sickness.”

Derek’s smile was wry. “I don’t know if you remember, Gorgeous, but I wasn’t exactly around for those first few months.”

“And I forgive you whole-heartedly,” Penelope responded promptly. “Find Em some soda crackers and ginger ale and her stomach will settle. There’s no guarantee she’s pregnant yet, I’m sure.”

Derek looked up at the dark-haired woman who had just returned to the vehicle. He handed the phone over wordlessly, concern now etched in his eyes.

“Pen?”

“Hey there.”

Emily took a deep breath. She’d taken a few minutes after retching to recover and think while Derek continued to chat with her on the phone. By her mental calculations, there was a distinct possibility she could be pregnant. “I’m late.”


	9. Chapter 9

She’s made them both swear not to tell a soul, but that didn’t make her any more comfortable walking back into the precinct after her interviews with Derek yielded very little. Instead, she felt antsy and nervous, hoping upon hope that it didn’t show in her expression or body language. And she knew even the slightest micro-expressions could give her away too. Aaron had that type of radar.

She’d made Derek stop at a drug store. Penelope had planted a bug in her brain and now that she thought about it, there was a distinct possibility she could be pregnant. And it terrified her. If her calculations were right, her current predicament was the fault of Aaron’s bachelor party and her own teasing, taunting remarks. Though this wasn’t the first time her period had been this late. And she was – potentially, she didn’t want to get her hopes up – happily surprised. That night hadn’t been the first time she and Aaron had been too preoccupied with each other to worry about protection. But it was the first time she’d been in particular situation.

It changed a lot. Her bachelorette party had already been postponed because of the case and her wedding was less than a month away. She’d wanted to do this the ‘traditional’ way. She’d wanted the baby after the marriage. If she was pregnant, she wanted to know now. She wanted her own biological child more than anything and she really wasn’t ready to risk it.

Derek pulled her aside after the new assignments were passed out. “You want to hit the hotel first?” he asked quietly.

Emily shook her head. She didn’t want to arouse unnecessarily worry or concern. She knew Aaron had been watching her more carefully lately and she knew it was because of sleep. “I’ll do it later.”

Derek pulled out into the highway again. There were a million things he wanted to ask her. He’d missed this part of Penelope’s pregnancy so he had no idea where she was in her mind or what she was going through. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Emily answered, her gaze out the window.

Derek knew she wasn’t. “You won’t be better knowing?”

“Derek, we’re going to do this my way, okay?”

“Em...”

“Look, Aaron should be there. I can’t...” she blew out a breath. She hadn’t expected this in the slightest. Karma was a royal pain.

Derek reached over and grasped her hand. “Hey, breathe.”

Emily blew out another breath. “I didn’t expect to be this nervous or worried. I just expected to be simply happy, not have so much to worry about.”

“It’s just unexpected,” Derek tried to reassure her. “Come on, Em. You of all people can do this.”

Emily didn’t reply. She wanted to be a mother, she really did, she’d just expected it on her own terms. She was the type of plan for any eventuality, but this just hadn’t even crossed her mind.

Derek, for his part, didn’t know what to say. He wanted to reassure her, but he had no idea what was going on in her mind. Emily was his best friend and if she was pregnant... Well, Derek knew it would mean the world to her. Emily was meant to be a mother, period end of discussion.

If he was honest, he’d been wary of the relationship between Emily and Hotch in the beginning. Who wouldn’t be, with Elle leaving and Gideon leaving and then Emily’s attack... The last thing he’d wanted to have to deal with was the team breaking up – again – because Emily and Hotch hadn’t thought about their actions. But now, almost three years later, Emily was fine and functioning like any normal human being. And Hotch was a human being. Emily balanced him so well that the team dynamics had shifted with their relationship. So Derek couldn’t argue one bit.

A child, Derek knew, would be the icing on the cake.

 

Emily was stressed. She’s procrastinated on taking the pregnancy test until that morning and hadn’t decided if she was happy with the result or not. And now she had to deal with the local detective who kept prying into her private life. She’d tried to delicately turn him down but he hadn’t gotten the hint and now they were seated at a diner – because Emily needed food more than she hated dealing with him – and he simply wasn’t letting up.

“How long have you been living in Washington?”

“A while,” Emily responded vaguely, wishing ESP was a real thing and the team could hear her mental call for help. The detective had been trying to get her to have a meal with him. Dinner, breakfast, whatever. It didn’t seem to matter that her engagement ring flashed on her left hand anytime she got passionate about what they were discussing. He didn’t seem to pay it any mind.

“And before that?”

“Different posts.” Emily had a tried and true rule of not sharing anything personal with other agents while working cases. It was self-preservation on her part

The detective laughed. “Calm down. You look like a deer about to spring.”

Emily was sure she’d never been so happy to hear her phone ring, nor so happy to see JJ’s number pop up on the display. She excused herself. “Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

“Um... okay...” JJ said, amusement colouring her tone. “What’s up?”

“I needed food. _Needed_ it or I wouldn’t have said ‘yes’,” Emily replied quickly, smoothly voice sounding only slightly panicked.

“Whoa, Em, what’s wrong?”

“Tell me you need us to come back?”

“If you tell me what’s going on.”

“The detective is trying to pick apart my private life! It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve flashed my ring, he is not letting up!”

JJ laughed. “Well are you guys done?”

“Yeah. Nothing at all.”

“Well we’ve got something.”

“Thank you.”

“Em, it’s another body.”

 

Aaron hated cases. Well, not quite. Usually, he enjoyed the challenges, enjoyed the work, but this one seemed to be eating at them all. Okay, that wasn’t true either. What was really bothering him was that it seemed to be eating away at Emily. He’d been watching her since she and the detective pulled up to the crime scene and she seemed more off-kilter than he’d ever seen her.

Clue number 1: she’d stuck to Derek. It was usual routine around local law enforcement, simply because it made things easier. Derek was someone Emily was comfortable with and though Aaron knew that he was her go-to guy for her worst moments, it had to be pretty bad for her not to hold out until that night. He was the same way, though he really didn’t have anyone he needed to ‘stick to’.

Clue number 2: something was off with Derek. The African-American man had all but tackled her when she climbed out of the SUV looking frazzled. Aaron had seen Emily shake her head at whatever Derek had asked, her eyes meeting his as she spoke.

But still, they’d ended up shoulder to shoulder, looking down at the body of Samantha Cunningham, Denver high-power attorney. When the local detective came over to tell them Samantha’s husband had arrived – word of mouth was just as efficient in Denver, not to mention it was a co-worker that had found her – Emily hadn’t hesitated to volunteer to go with him.

The icing on the cake came during that interview.

_“Sammy did the same walk through the park every lunch hour,” Danny Cunningham said, tears in his eyes as he sat on one of the park benches. “It was time for her to cool down... Why her?”_

_“We’re still trying to figure that out, sir,” Emily answered sympathetically._

_Danny Cunningham sniffled. “Everything was going good for us. Sammy was doing really well and my new company is just starting to take off... We have a house, we were doing good. Sammy’s law school loans are almost paid off... Gosh she’s... she was, I guess, pregnant.”_

_Aaron saw Emily’s hand fly to her stomach and arched a curious eyebrow at her. “Was there anyone who didn’t like your wife?”_

_“Not that I can think of. Sure, Sammy was a shark in the courtroom, but out of that atmosphere she was the sweetest person in the world.”_

_“There’s no one you can think of?”_

_“Clients? People she won against? I don’t know!”_

And Aaron’s mind had been in overdrive since. Less and less of it had been focused on the case and more and more on what was going on with Emily. He’d seen how close the local detective hovered. He’d observed how often she reached across him with her left hand, but only when she absolutely had to. Emily was protecting herself, trying to find a simple easy way to stop the guy from harassing her. If he could, Aaron would have staked his claim already, found some subtle way to tell the guy to beat it, but he hadn’t been assigning himself things with her. Derek sure, that was easy and Aaron had no problem sending the two best friends out into the field together. Now that he thought about it, even JJ had looked a little less than impressed coming back from a day with the detective and Reid.

So he knocked on her door that night. Separate rooms were the norm, mostly to maintain the facade of the perfect team. Tonight, however, Aaron had something else on his mind completely. He hated it when Emily wasn’t one hundred percent. When she opened the door in what was obviously a t-shirt she’d stolen from him and her cotton shorts, he knew something was seriously off. Still, she looked skittish, so all he did was reach out and run a hand down her arm.

“Hey.”

Her smiled was nervous, small. “Hey.”

He stepped in when she motioned him to do so, waiting for her to close the hotel door behind her. “Everything okay?” Then she was in his arms, burrowed tightly against him. His went around her, rocking her, pressing kisses intermittently against her temple.

“Today was a bad day,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“Why was it a bad day?”

She didn’t answer, just leaned up and kissed him. He responded thoroughly, though slowed it down when she clung to him almost desperately. “Em, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, everything, I don’t know.”

Now he was quite seriously worried. “What happened?”

“My boss sent me on stupid canvassing this morning with a stupid detective that kept stupid hitting on me,” she grumbled.

Aaron could barely make out her words but chuckled. “I’m sorry.”

“I figured you’d noticed.”

“I wondered.” It wasn’t the only thing he’d wondered about though. “Em?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s something else.”

She pulled away almost entirely, but he wouldn’t let her go. “Sorry?”

“Something else bothering you,” he clarified. “Other than the detective.” Her glance away told him he was right. Of course he was right. This was Emily. “What is it?”

She pulled out of his arms and went into the bathroom. He heard her rummaging around for a moment before she returned, something in her hands. “Aaron, there’s something I think you should see.”

And she handed him a small plastic stick.


	10. Chapter 10

Dave knew something was up with JJ. The woman was a virtual book to his eyes and he wasn’t blind to her beauty in the slightest. Nevertheless, he knew she was hung up on the gangly know-it-all doctor. That didn’t mean he hadn’t come to care for her in the months since his return. She didn’t look at him like an idol as many of the rest of the team did and she didn’t unintentionally isolate herself as Prentiss and Morgan seemed to do. And Hotch... well, Hotch was most definitely hung up on his wife-to-be, though the man had come out with them when Prentiss had turned them down.

But that wasn’t why he was currently on a hunt through the hotel. He’d been watching JJ all day, sticking professionally close to her, watching her reactions to the continued awkwardness that seemed to plague the air between her and Reid. In some ways, he felt bad. Dave knew that his friendship with JJ was something that bothered Reid. Of course, he didn’t really care, but it almost wasn’t fair to the poor boy. Reid had no idea that Dave understood that he couldn’t compare to JJ’s feelings for Reid. The unfortunate thing was that it was putting JJ smack dab in the middle. That, he didn’t like.

Which was why he was hunting for her. She’d disappeared after their dinner briefing. He hadn’t seen where she’d gone, nor had Prentiss and nor had Morgan. That annoyed him, because JJ needed people. But he knew Prentiss was preoccupied with something else so he didn’t exactly expect the brunette woman to be paying attention to JJ’s undertones. But he was and he was paying careful attention.

He found her in the bar and almost hit himself for his stupidity. Where else was she going to be after a bad day? “Hey stranger.”

She looked up, surprised, but the look slipped into a small smile. “Hi.”

“Bad day?”

JJ sighed. “Did you get a chance to look at the autopsy results?”

“Nah. Figured Reid could give me the details tomorrow.”

“Huh,” JJ replied, sounding less than impressed. She tossed a pile of papers at him. “Take a look.”

“They proved she was pregnant,” Dave said, reading off of the report. “That what this is about?”

“There was _a life_ inside her, Dave. She had _everything_ going for her and it didn’t matter.”

Dave arched an eyebrow. He’d been on way too many cases with the BAU to allow something bother him during a case. When he was at home, sure, but now... Well, he was just too jaded. For the purposes of cases, they were all just people, they were all victims. They weren’t mothers, brothers, aunts or nephews.

JJ blew out a sigh. “I know that they are no different than any of the other victims we see and deal with. I know that they’re people that have families and that its an unfortunate group of situations and circumstances that led them to wherever they are now I just... She had her whole life ahead of her. She had a family, a job, a career...”

“Would you feel any different if it was a homeless woman?”

He could tell she was irritated by the look she shot him. “I don’t compartmentalize like the rest of you,” she said sharply.

He’d learned that. He’d also learned that she told him the most about who she was when he goaded her. It was part of their little friendship. “So?”

“So I can’t just turn my brain off. I can’t just look at each of these women as another victim that fits into a pattern. Samantha Cunningham was a wife, a daughter and she was going to be a mother. Doesn’t that bother you at all?”

Dave tilted his head to the side. “Is this all about the victims?”

“If you’re going to go off on the whole ‘they’re all like you, your age, your demographic’, I might shoot you.”

“You and an army, JJ.” He took a minute to collect his thoughts. “You know, there’s a difference between being callous and compartmentalizing.”

“That damned word.”

He arched an eyebrow, unaccustomed to her swearing, but let it go. “You said it yourself. You don’t compartmentalize like the rest of us do. Yet you wake up every morning to do the same job. You’re still here and that has to count for something.”

“A job isn’t everything.”

“You’re right. You can’t get love or human affection from your career.”

Her head snapped up. “That wasn’t what I was talking about.”

“Wasn’t it?”

JJ glared at him. “Were you not given the memo about inter-team profiling?”

“Is it the same as it was when I was an agent?” he replied with a cheeky smile. His smile turned genuine when JJ chuckled.

“Sometimes I wish it was just easy.”

“You’re talking to the wrong man.”

“Ah yes,” she said with a tight smile. “Three failed marriages.”

“I don’t need anyone other than Mudgie.”

“Dave, a dog isn’t going to keep you warm at night.”

“Neither did my second wife.”

“That was uncalled for.”

Dave shrugged. “I don’t have to be nice all the time.”

“You might want to try sometimes,” she said wryly.

Silence fell over them for a moment.

“Sometimes,” JJ began turning fully to face him as he pulled up the bar stool next to her, “it’s really hard. Emily and Hotch are planning their wedding. Pen’s got a baby girl of her own and a man that dotes on her hand and foot. Is it so much to ask?”

“Relationships take work. Most fail because people expect them to be easy.”

“And yours?”

“We’re not talking about mine.”

JJ sighed. “I want what they have, Dave.”

“And you want it with Reid.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” She hadn’t told him anything about the failed relationship between them, just about Reid’s perception of their quickly growing friendship.

“Am I insane? To still be hung up on a guy after... gosh, who knows how long?”

“No more insane than the rest of us.”

“Even after we found out it didn’t work?”

“JJ, I’m probably not the right person to be asking.”

She sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” Then she hopped down from her barstool. She pecked a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for listening anyway.”

She hadn’t pulled that far away. When Dave turned his head, he knew how easy it would be to just....

But she was the one that closed the gap between them first.

 

Aaron looked down at the stick his wife-to-be had given him. He knew what it was and he had a feeling he knew what it meant, but without the instruction book he wasn’t...

“I’m pregnant.”

He looked up at Emily, questions and emotions swirling in his eyes. Pregnant. She was actually seriously pregnant. He’d assumed that was why she’d unconsciously protected her stomach earlier, but it had seemed like too good of a dream. Yet the evidence was now right in front of him, in front of his eyes and he couldn’t argue with it. “You’re sure.”

“The test says so. I’ll make an appointment with the doctor when I get home.”

She was nervous, he could tell, so he took her hand, tugging her closer to him as he looked down at the positive result on her pregnancy test. “Emily...”

“What are we going to do?”

He was surprised by the sound of tears in her voice. He faced her, not bothering to hide the shock. “What do you mean?”

She blew out a breath. “I wanted to be married first, Aaron. I wanted to do something right.”

“’Right’ is a state of mind,” he argued logically.

“I wanted to do it in the right order,” she clarified, wiping angrily at the tears

“Hey,” he chastised, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. “Emily, there is no right and wrong here. Its... It’s a _baby_.”

The sheer awe in his voice made her smile slightly. “I wanted to be married.”

“We will be.”

“Before I was pregnant.”

“Does it matter?” he asked, a hand slipping down her shoulder to wrap around her waist. Aaron pulled her to him, his heart full. She was _pregnant_. His heart thrilled at the thought of her swollen with his child. It was what he wanted almost more than marrying her. “Emily... you’re _pregnant_.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh.

Aaron shook his head. He’d never in a million years expected her to be so down about having a child of her own. “This is...” He couldn’t put into words what he was feeling, so he put it into a kiss instead, pulling her close, pouring every emotion racing through his blood into the kiss. She responded just as enthusiastically and he backed her up towards her hotel room bed. They were breaking every rule they’d made for away cases, but all he cared about was showing her how happy he was.

Because she was pregnant.


	11. Chapter 11

JJ knew she was in deep trouble. Sneaking out of David Rossi’s room only an hour before the team was set to meet was probably a little more risk than she liked, but she didn’t get much of a choice. There had been no alarm. She’d tossed a pillow at Dave as she’d left to wake him up, hoping it did the trick.

But she’d screwed up. Seriously and royally screwed up. She wasn’t usually the type for one night stands and never had been. JJ invested herself in relationships and even in situations where she needed to feel _alive_.... well, she could never bring herself to have meaningless sex. It just wasn’t ingrained in her. But she’d done more than simply sleep in the same bed as David Rossi last night and it was currently eating at her insides, especially since she knew they were both sober enough to remember it whenever they felt it necessary.

She was thankful they were all booked in separate rooms. She usually did that when it was available, though it was almost inevitable that she and Emily shared a conjoining door. It was safety. The privacy of her own room allowed her the chance to pace back and forth the small length of the room, her phone in her hand, pressed against her ear.

“Honey, I have nothing for you,” Penelope Garcia greeted. “And calling me sporadically isn’t going to give you anything you want any faster.”

“I slept with Dave.”

Silence reigned on the other end of the phone.

“I don’t know what it was,” JJ said, knowing and feeling the panicked blabbering. “Maybe it was the way Spencer couldn’t look at me, maybe it was because I was stressed at the LEO that’s been hitting on me and Em since we got here, maybe... Gosh, I don’t know! And I kissed him first!”

“Jennifer Jareau, what is wrong with you?”

That stopped JJ dead in her tracks.

“You have been on nothing but a downward spiral since David Rossi arrived and I am definitely not putting much of the blame on his shoulders. I haven’t seen you make this many mistakes since your relationship with the good doctor and you know what? It stems from the same damn thing!” Penelope sounded quite pissed off. In fact, the better word was probably angry.

“Pen-“

“Nuh uh. You realize you could have avoided all of this if you’d just talk to Reid?” Penelope blew out a breath. “I thought you’d gotten control of your own life again, JJ.”

A knock on JJ’s door made her sigh again. She didn’t bother peering through the peephole before pulling it open. Dave stood there. “Pen...”

“I’ll call you when I’ve got something.”

“You left.”

“Dave...”

“I know,” he replied, looking put together for the day. “I’m sorry. I took advantage of a bad day.”

“We were both sober, Dave,” JJ replied sounding tired. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.” She knew he was relieved when she didn’t jerk away as his hand squeezed her arm.

“I’m sorry.”

JJ could feel the emotions raging in her as she let the door close on Dave’s retreating back. She turned her back to the door, sliding down to the floor at the same time the tears started flowing down her face. She’d screwed up bigger than big. Penelope was right. She’d been on a massive downward spiral and she wasn’t sure there was anyone she could blame but herself. Somehow, Emily and Penelope had managed to find and make relationships work in the FBI, in their job, and yet, all she’d done was screw all of hers up. She couldn’t stop the sobs that tore from her body as she curled her knees to her chest. She wasn’t sure how long she sat like that before she felt a very familiar presence slide down beside her and a scrawny arm wrap around her shoulders.

“Jenn?”

\--

Spencer had been in Emily’s room, waiting for the brunette to finish up in the bathroom. Hotch had asked him to stop by Emily’s room on his way down for breakfast. He’d heard sobs through the door and knew that it was JJ’s room. He wasn’t sure what to do for a few minutes as he heard her cry. He’d stepped away from her as she grew closer and closer to Dave, unwilling to let himself get wrapped up in her when she wanted to move on. It had been painful for him, he hadn’t wanted to do it, but he wanted what was best for JJ.

But it hadn’t sounded like JJ was really in a good position. He knew the girls had the conjoining door. He knew why they did it too and he hadn’t been sure if JJ would want his company or not. Still, he couldn’t just leave her crying in her room. He loved her, regardless of the hell she was putting him and herself through. So he’d checked both doors, happy to find them unlocked and discovered JJ curled against her door.

She looked so broken there against the dark wood, tears streaking down her face and Spencer hadn’t really thought twice about sliding down beside her and pulling her against him. She felt the same, smelled the same, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

When things had fallen apart between them, he’d wanted to hate her. He’d wanted to just be angry at her, cut her out of his life as much as possible, but not only did they work together, she was one of the few women he trusted. He was a boy genius in the FBI, a gangly kid with nothing but his intellect going for him and more often than not, his intellect terrified the average person. JJ had always simply accepted him, had never asked if he could dumb himself down for her. It was what had drawn him to her to begin with. Their relationship had seemed like a fairy tale and yet, he’d still held on as hard as he could until he just couldn’t put himself through it anymore.

And still, he couldn’t hate her. He couldn’t do anything but love her, regardless. And when she’d proposed they start back at friendship.... He’d been happy. If he couldn’t have her in a romantic relationship, he definitely wanted her friendship. JJ was just that type of person.

His hand stroked up and down her back, threading into her hair to scratch at her scalp, well aware that they were the most efficient and effective way of settling her down. Her hand had fisted in his shirt at his shoulder so he pulled her legs across her lap so she was curled against him. He shushed her quietly, feeling terrible to see her tears. Emily poked her head in confused and wondering. Spencer waved her away and Emily nodded her understanding.

“I’m a terrible person,” she sniffled after she’d calmed down enough to talk.

“Jenn...”

“I am. Look at what I did to you and then this whole thing with Dave...” She held on tighter when she felt him stiffen.

Spencer looked around the room, closing his eyes when he noticed JJ’s bed still perfectly made. It didn’t take a genius to see that JJ hadn’t spent the night in her own bed.

“You shouldn’t even be here. I should be crying by myself. I don’t deserve anyone.”

“I’m not having this argument with you here, not like this.”

“Why not?” JJ asked, raising her head to look at his profile.

“Because you won’t listen to me.”

“You’re only going to tell me what I want to hear.”

Spencer just sat there. He’d promised her once to only tell her the truth and didn’t begrudge her for not remembering it now. JJ had been on an emotional rollercoaster of her own doing and he knew that, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be there for her. He couldn’t stand to see her cry.

Her snuffled died down until she was still and silent against him, tense, unmoving. He kept his hold loose, giving her the non-verbal permission to pull away if she so chose. She didn’t, but she didn’t move closer either. She stayed rigid.

“There’s nothing I can say to make this better, Jenn,” he told her finally. “And nothing I can do.” And he wasn’t totally sure how he felt about that. Well, other than quite obviously not liking it.

“I can’t seem to make one right decision,” she said, her head tucked downward. “I keep screwing up.”

Spencer just continued to hold her.

“I was sober last night,” she confided. “I was sober and I still... What’s wrong with me? I can’t think, I can’t seem to get drama out of my personal life...”

“Jenn, don’t,” he interrupted quietly. “You were always the one that told me that it was all in the past. Your decisions then don’t have any bearing on your decisions now.”

“I have a lot to fix,” she said.

He nudged her head with his shoulder to get JJ to look up at him. “When’s a better time to start than now?”


	12. Chapter 12

“Derek Morgan if you shove any more water in my face, I swear you are going to meet the end of my Glock,” Emily growled as she snatched yet another water bottle from Derek’s hand and tossed it in the back seat of the SUV. She’d been rather relieved to find that Aaron hadn’t paired her with him, but had forgotten how overprotective Derek could be. She was about ready to actually shoot him.

“Em, come on.”

“No. Trust me, I know what I’m feeling and if my pregnancy is going to be anything like Pen’s, I’m going to be peeing enough for the rest of the team without the water.”

“You’re pregnant Em-“

“And perfectly healthy,” Emily pointed out logically. “I’m _fine_ , Derek. Right now, I haven’t had any problems, and beyond the shock of Pen telling me I could be pregnant, no morning sickness. I don’t ache, I’m only cranky because you are shoving enough water at me to hydrate a third-world country and right now, I’m craving nothing more than probably a nap.”

“I’ll get you back to the hotel then-“

“Derek! You’re missing my point,” she said with amused exasperation. “I’ll tell you when something’s wrong, okay? Until then, back off just a touch. Even Aaron’s not this bad.”

“Which is half of my point. He’s not here. Who’s going to take care of you?”

“Me.”

“Come on, Em. Your past doesn’t exactly credit you with a lot of good decisions on your well-being.”

“If you’re talking about my hospital stay _two years ago_ , you’re a little out of line and you have no idea what that was like,” she answered wryly. “I’m pregnant this time, not injured. It’s a little bit different.”

“Hotch would be doing the same thing were he here,” Derek pointed out, trying to aim at her logic.

“He would listen better than you are,” Emily argued back. “Right now, I feel fine. Back off.”

Derek held up his hands for a split second in a gesture of surrender. “I’m just trying to help.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “You’re trying to make up for the six months of pregnancy you missed with Pen,” she accused. “And forgetting there wasn’t much you could do about that.”

Derek didn’t like that accusation one bit. “That’s not fair.”

“Deal,” Emily replied.

“You’re mean when you’re pregnant.”

“No more so than usual. And I’m _irritated_ ,” she responded. “I’m not going to be able to deal with all of this coddling for the entirety of the next nine months.”

“Well we’re going to be protective, whether you’d like it or not,” Derek replied stubbornly. “You shouldn’t even be out here doing interviews. You should be doing victimology in the precinct.”

“I’m an FBI agent, Derek, fully trained to handle myself.”

“And your baby? You’re not just living your life for you now. Everything changes with a kid.”

“Speaking from experience?” She actually seen Derek be a little bit more careful in the field recently, but this was the first she’d ever heard him credit his daughter with that change.

“Your perspective changes completely. I’m not letting my daughter grow up without a father.”

Emily was silent for a moment, choosing her words carefully. It had taken her a few hours to come to terms with the pregnancy and she’d been a little upset with herself over her initial reaction when she’d gone through and analyzed it. “I’ve been waiting too long for this to not be careful,” she said finally. “But I also have a job to do and a life to live. I’m not going to be one of those women who holes themselves up in her bedroom or sticks to the safest route because I’m pregnant. As I get further in the pregnancy, yeah, I’ll cut back my hours in the field and I won’t have any problem doing victimology or working back in Quantico if it’s what’s best for my baby. Now, though, I will fight tooth and nail for this.”

“We just want you safe,” Derek said, turning into the parking lot of the police station. “Is it that much to ask?”

“You guys are overprotective enough normally,” she replied. She was used to it, so she’d found little ways to get around it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t see it.

He turned off the ignition of the car, turning to face her. “You’ve waited for this for so long,” he said, parroting her words. “And you’re going to be a great mother. Is it that hard to understand that I want what’s best for my best friend?”

Could Emily really argue with that?

 

JJ’s day hadn’t gotten any better since that morning. Hotch had taken one look at her and assigned her to the precinct to liaise with Penelope and the media and as much as she appreciated he could see she needed a break, it was the last thing she wanted at that particular moment. Right now, she wanted something to keep her very busy, something else to focus on. And Penelope was mad at her to boot.

Having done everything she could, JJ now had time to think and she wasn’t particularly happy with the opportunity. She tucked a strand of blond behind her ear with a heavy sigh. What she needed, was a vacation. Some time away where she could take stock on her life and the choices she’d made. Not to mention the choices she was going to have to make. She knew both she and Dave saw their little tryst as a mistake, and she was pretty positive it would never happen again.

What bothered her most was the broken look on Spencer’s face when he’d realized what had happened. JJ had been beating herself up every since. Spencer deserved better than that and JJ had come to the conclusion that she either had to be that better, or she was going to have to let Spencer go for good, regardless of her feelings and his. She knew she’d hurt him one too many times to deserve another chance after this one, should she decide to jump at the opportunity.

And Penelope had been right too. JJ knew she’d been all over the map since Penelope’s pregnancy and part of her wished she had some sort of excuse to blame it on. But JJ could blame no one and nothing but herself. She’d made her choices and she had done a terrible job of dealing with the consequences. In fact, abysmal was probably a better word to use. And she knew it had to change.

She looked up as Emily came in and plunked down in the chair beside her. “Tired?”

“Irritated. Hungry. Everything,” Emily responded.

“Well, we’re just waiting for Hotch and Reid to come back, then we can probably find lunch. I’m starting to get hungry too.”

Emily turned her head from where she’d dropped it to rest on her arms. She eyed JJ curiously. “Everything okay?”

“Fine,” JJ answered. “Just dealing with a lot. I could use a vacation.”

Emily smiled. “Keep a secret?”

“Always.”

“The two weeks Aaron and I have off for our honeymoon?” Emily began. “Well, he figured the team was long overdue for a break and since two of us were going to be gone anyway…”

“We have two weeks off?”

Emily nodded.

JJ blew out a breath. “I was thinking about going home.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll send you postcards from Europe.”

JJ shoved her friend gently. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. Why home?”

“Time away from Washington, away from Quantico. I haven’t seen my brother in ages.

“You have a brother?” Family, with the way Penelope, Emily and JJ all felt about theirs, was rarely a topic of conversation.

“Three, actually. All older,” JJ answered. “Speaking of, talked to Charlotte lately?”

Charlotte had volunteered to act as Emily’s buffer with The Mothers for Emily’s wedding. “No,” Emily answered. “I’m going to have to call her soon.”

“We got our invites to the rehearsal dinner,” JJ replied. “That’s why I asked.”

“Well, I’m going to have to call her now and tell her there will be no alcohol for the bride at this wedding.”

JJ looked at Emily in surprise. “Why not?”

Emily grinned. “I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant! No way!”

Emily laughed. “Yes way!” she replied. “Hence the hunger, the exhaustion, the irritablility..”

“I just figured it was PMS,” JJ replied.

“Cute. I hate blaming hormones though.”

“Sometimes, it just has to happen. Hotch know?”

“Derek, Aaron, Pen. Reid’s going to flip.”

“He’ll have no idea what to expect,” JJ agreed tactfully. It was endlessly difficult to hide turmoil from her friends, but keeping answers vague often helped.

Emily narrowed her eyes. “There’s something else you’re not telling me, but I really don’t have a choice but to let it slide,” she said. “I’m napping.”

JJ laughed. If Penelope pregnant had been interesting, JJ could only imagine what Emily pregnant was going to bring. Whatever that was, she was sure it was bound to be a fun ride. “Nap then, Mommy,” JJ replied. “I’ll wake you up for lunch.”

Emily was already out.


	13. Chapter 13

Emily was so very not ready. The month that she’d thought she had before her wedding had blurred by with not even a wave backwards in her direction. Before she knew it, she JJ, Penelope and Charlotte – as well as Gabi and Emily’s nephew – were sharing a luxurious suite in the hotel where Elizabeth and Gabrielle had planned the reception. She’d felt royally ill upon waking the next morning and was thankful she’d managed to not wake anyone up as she made a dash for the bathroom. The other women remained blissfully asleep in the rooms. Emily was actually thankful when Gabi woke early. It gave her something else to focus on, rather than her nerves.

Slowly the girls filed out of their rooms, taking in the relative quiet with relish. They all knew that the minute Elizabeth and Gabrielle showed up it was going to be a chaotic mess of people. Emily had asked all three women to be there from the first moment because she hadn’t told anyone other than her closest of closest friends about her pregnancy. The doctor had confirmed it almost a month ago and given her a January due date. Still, she’d hoped to get through her first trimester, just to make sure everything was okay.

Her nerves weren’t helping. The girls asked her time and time again if she wanted anything to eat and Emily turned them down. There was no way anything she put in her stomach was going to stay there. Every insecurity she’d ever had about her relationship with Aaron was coming to the forefront now. Every little voice she’d managed to banish over the last two years or so was screaming at her all at once and giving her the beginnings of what was sure to be a brutal headache.

The knock was prompt and Emily forced herself to take a deep breath while Charlotte got up to answer the door. Elizabeth and Gabrielle bustled in followed by a remarkable number of people, including some of the women to stand as Emily’s bridesmaids. Emily tried not to think about the fact that she’d only met most of them the previous night.

Elizabeth bustled over to her daughter immediately. “Emily, hair and makeup for you. Where’s her mother?”

Gabi had been one of the very few things keeping Emily calm since she’d woken. The little girl had been playing on Emily’s lap. “She can sit on my lap while my hair gets done, Mother,” Emily said, trying to infuse stubbornness in her voice and simultaneously trying to ensure her voice didn’t shake. “You sent Penelope into the other room to get changed.”

Elizabeth looked like she was about to argue. Much to Emily’s surprise, it was Gabrielle that stepped in. “Leave the girl. Emily won’t need her hands anyway. Come along dear and have a seat.”

Emily took a deep breath as she gathered Gabi and moved. Three women descended on her at once and Gabi let out a loud cry, startled. Emily tried to breathe. “Three Mother? I don’t have that much hair.”

“This is going to be perfect,” Elizabeth argued back.

“Which is why Lacy is going to be the principal stylist.”

“We agreed on Patty,” Elizabeth replied coolly.

Gabrielle shook her head. “Lacy’s design with the curls and the flowers was the one we agreed would go best with the dress.”

“Patty’s was much more sophisticated.”

Gabi was fussing in Emily’s lap and nothing Emily could do would calm her down. Her head was starting to seriously pound and she could feel herself getting light-headed. “Mother…” she tried, but both mothers were too busy politely arguing. Emily gulped, shoving the bile that had risen in her throat back. She could see two of herself in the mirror. She needed to get rid of Gabi and fast.

“Miss Prentiss,” one of the women above her asked. “Are you okay?”

Emily only managed to pass a now-crying Gabi off to one of the women before passing out.

 

Penelope had been the first to hear the growing commotion in the suite’s main room. Gabi never cried and yet a mother always knew her child. Penelope rushed out when she heard the loud gasp and the crash. Charlotte and JJ were close on her heels. Braden, Charlotte’s boy, was huddled in a corner, looking terrified, and all but rushed over to his mother when she came out. Penelope wanted to comfort her daughter, but Emily was sprawled on the ground, both mother’s at her side. Someone was yelling to call an ambulance.

“Enough!” Penelope shouted, every mother-bear instinct coming to the surface. The room went silent immediately as Penelope easily took charge. “Call that ambulance. JJ, call her doctor, Charlotte, call Chris and get him and Derek over here.”

“But we’re already calling an ambulance,” one of the women said confused.

Charlotte was already pulling out her cell as JJ did the same. Penelope scooped Gabi from the other woman’s arms and deposited her in the large play pen they’d set up for both Gabi and Braden. Gabi safe and sound, before all but shoving her way to Emily’s side.

Meanwhile, JJ had gotten through to the doctor. “Hello, I’m so sorry, It’s Jennifer Jareau, friend of Emily Prentiss… Yes. Um… she just fainted…”

Penelope focused on Emily. “Em? Come on, Em, talk to me. Someone grab a damp washcloth from the bathroom!” The cool cloth in her hand, Penelope went about dabbing at Emily’s face. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” one of the women said from above her. “One second she seemed okay, then she handed that little girl to me and fainted.”

“Chris! Emily fainted.”

“What are we going to do? Is she going to be okay? We need to call Aaron.”

“Quiet!” Penelope exclaimed again. “Alright, everyone out. JJ, Charlotte, stay behind. I want everyone else _out_. NOW!”

Looking back on the moment, she would never be sure what actually sent everyone running for the hills, but the bridesmaids and other women scattered faster than Penelope had seen in a while. All except the mothers, the two people that were probably the catalyst to it all. “You two as well. Out.”

“But-“

“Get out!”

“I will do no such thing!” Elizabeth replied haughtily. “This is my daughter’s wedding day.”

“And you’ve probably gone and stressed her out, the poor woman. Jayje, what does the doctor say?”

“That if we’ve called the ambulance all we can do is make sure she wakes up. If she wakes up before they get here, Hotch doesn’t have to know,” JJ replied, hanging up the phone.

“Derek Morgan’s on his way with Chris. Chris said something about Aaron’s brother too.”

Penelope turned back to Emily. “Did she eat anything today?”

“No,” Charlotte answered hanging up. “She said she was too nervous.”

“Are we sure we shouldn’t tell Hotch?” JJ asked, coming to kneel on Emily’s other side, gently moving to cradle the older woman’s head in her lap.

“No way,” Penelope replied. “What did Emily say last night?”

“Rain or shine, I’m getting married tomorrow,” JJ replied with a wide grin.

“Well of course she is!” Gabrielle interjected, scandalized. “No one is leaving my son at the altar!”

Penelope was at her wits end. “Get out!”

But the EMTs rushed in first, just as Emily was coming to.

“Miss? Can you hear me?”

“I’m having déjà vu,” Emily mumbled, closing her eyes against the bright light.

“I’m sorry, ma’am?”

“Mama?”

“In here, Derek,” Penelope called back. Sean, Chris and Derek came racing in, the first two taking stock of the shocked and slightly irritated mothers and jumping in immediately. Derek took on Gabi and Braden, lifting his still-crying baby girl into his arms.

Chris moved to kneel beside the EMT that had all but shoved Penelope out of the way. “What happened?”

“I haven’t been feeling well all day,” Emily said, her eyes closed. “I threw up this morning, but I figured that was just morning sickness. Then came the light-headedness and the dizziness...”

“Em, you _have_ to take better care of yourself,” Chris admonished. “There’s more than you at stake here.”

“She’s pregnant?”

“About a month and a half in,” Charlotte answered from above them, Braden on her hip.

“He’s right. You really need to take better care of yourself. How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted,” Emily answered.

“And your day hasn’t even started,” Chris quipped. He turned to the EMT. “What do you think?”

“I think if we get some food and sugar in her, she’ll be fine. When’s the wedding?”

“One,” Chris answered, slowly helping his sister sit up.

“Take it easy,” the EMT suggested. “Minimal stress all day and maybe a nap if you have time. Your fiancée...”

“Brother,” Chris corrected realizing the EMT had gestured to him. “Fiancée would have a coronary if he knew.”

“Ah, one of those,” the EMT said knowingly. “We’ve had a few overprotective ones.”

“Well, with her history, you’d be overprotective too,” Chris responded.

Emily slapped at him weakly.

“Get some food, juice, and make sure you’re drinking a lot of water today. Go see your OB/GYN as soon as possible when this is over, just to make sure, but you weren’t out long and you didn’t stop breathing, so your baby should be fine.”

“Thank you,” Emily said sincerely as the EMT and Chris helped her up and over to the couch.

Braden came wandering over as the family conversed in the corner, JJ, Penelope and Derek creating a tight circle with Chris and Charlotte.

“Aunty Emmy?”

“Hi honey,” Emily said with a tired smile.

“Otay?”

He looked genuinely worried so Emily patted the cushion beside her and helped the little boy up onto the couch. “I’ll be fine,” she promised as he cuddled into her side. She closed her eyes against another wave of nausea and dizziness hit her along with her nerves.

“Em?”

Chris was above her when she opened her eyes.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she promised.

“Dad’s on the phone.”

She accidentally jolted Braden when her body stiffened. “Why is Daddy on the phone?”

“Mom? Who knows.”

Emily sighed as she took the phone from her brother’s hands. “Hi Daddy.”

“Hi Bunny. Everything okay?”

“Fine,” she replied quietly.

“Chris, Derek and Sean raced out of here in a hurry. Aaron’s panicking.”

“Put him on the phone,” she requested.

“You two really are two peas in a pod,” she heard her father mumble as the phone was passed from one hand to another.

“Em?”

“Hey.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” she lied. “Everything’s fine.”

“We heard there was an ambulance called.”

“I killed my mother.”

“Cute.”

“I thought so,” she replied, accepting the bottle of juice JJ presented to her. She smiled her thanks. “It’s just been a tough morning.”

“You and Baby are okay though, right?”

“We’re fine, Aaron.”

Silence reigned over the phone. Emily could sense his worry and concern and her heart melted. Why was she nervous when Aaron was so completely concerned for her well being? Hers and Baby’s but he was worried about _her_. He loved her. Haley was long out of the picture with the exception of their brief brushes to drop off and pick up Jack...

“I love you,” she heard him say.

She smiled involuntarily. “I love you too.”

“I need you at the end of that aisle in a few hours.”

“I’ll be there. The one in white.”

“You could be wearing the same colour as every other woman in that room and I’d still find you.”

Emily felt tears come to her eyes and cursed hormones as she bowed her head. “That was corny.”

“But you’re smiling.”

“And crying.”

“Did I ruin your makeup?”

“We didn’t get that far,” she said. “It’s been a crazy morning.”

“Is that why Sean, Derek and Chris went running?”

“We had a little bit of a mother issue. It’s fine. I’m going to have to go see Trisha tomorrow though before our second wedding.”

“You said everything was fine with you and Baby.”

“Would I lie to you?”

“If you thought it was for my own good.”

She looked up as Derek waved from the door, Gabi on his hip, Braden holding his hand, thumb in his mouth. Emily hadn’t even felt Braden move. She waved back. “Derek’s on his way back.”

“I can pull the superior card.”

“But you won’t because today he’s family, not your subordinate.” She glanced around the room. “We owe Sean huge.”

“He’s distracting Mother?”

“And mine. Seriously, Aaron. Huge.”

His laugh carried over the line. “You got it.”

Her stomach had settled substantially as she talked to him and she found herself feeling much better about getting married. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“I’ll be there,” he promised.

“Good. I’d hunt you down if you weren’t.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

She smiled. “Neither would I.” She handed Chris’ phone back to him, a wide smile on her face. The day was suddenly looking up.


	14. Chapter 14

Aaron looked up at growing commotion in the doorway to find his mother all but steaming through everyone in her path.

“They kicked us out!”

Aaron saw Derek look up warily from the corner where he was playing with Gabi and Braden. Aaron patiently finished tying little Jack’s tie before standing back up. “Mother?”

“That little blond tramp kicked us out!”

“Be careful, Mother, those are people that are important to me.”

“All because Emily fainted. Seriously!”

Aaron stiffened. He hadn’t managed, in any way, to get what had happened out of Emily. “Fainted?”

“Fainted,” Gabrielle repeated.

Aaron felt more than saw Jonathan come up on his other side. “Is she okay?” the elder man asked.

“Fine. The EMT came and said she’d be fine. They still kicked us out!”

“Us?” Aaron asked, his voice forcibly calm. Emily had fainted and now all he wanted to do was see her. He’d talked to her not ten minutes earlier, but it wasn’t the same as seeing her, alive, in one piece, everything okay.

“The Ambassador and I. Kicked us out! This is a disaster!”

“Now, now, Gabrielle,” Liam Hotchner spoke up. “You are jumping to conclusions.”

“I knew this was going to happen.”

Aaron caught Sean’s eye over his mother’s shoulder. His brother shot him an apologetic smile. There was only so much even Sean could do when it came to Gabrielle Hotchner. “I’m sure it will be fine, Mother.” In reality, he didn’t care about the ceremony so long as he got to marry her. This was a formality. He knew their real wedding was tomorrow, in front of their closest friends and the family that didn’t share their blood.

“Fine! It can’t just be fine!”

“Nothing is ever perfect,” Jonathan spoke up carefully. His primary concern was his daughter and it was obvious in the way he’d gone about handling the day. “Is Elizabeth around?”

“She’s upstairs,” Gabrielle answered. “Trying to get those.... _Harpies_ , to let her help her daughter get ready for her wedding.”

Aaron tried not to roll his eyes at Jonathan knowingly as the man settled a hand on his shoulder before leaving.

Liam took his wife’s hand. “Come on, Gabrielle. Let’s go make sure the church is as beautifully perfect as you’d like it to be.”

The minute his family was out of the room, Aaron all but rounded on Derek. “She fainted?”

“She’s fine, Hotch. I saw her just before I left, while she was on the phone with you. They were going to pump her full of food and sugar. I’m sure she’s still alive and well,” Derek said, trying to reassure him.

Aaron tried for a deep breath, but the thought of Emily unconscious clenched his heart. Every once in a while he’d have nightmares of her stabbing and it always made it more difficult to see her as the strong woman he knew her to be. “Everything’s okay?”

“They called Trisha, they called the ambulance. The EMT said give her food, give her sugar, and maybe give her a nap before the reception. Basically she’s just got to take it easy today,” Derek replied, taking a block from Gabi’s hand as she tried to shove it in her mouth.

“Emmy?” Jack asked. “She’s hurt?”

“No, Jack,” Aaron answered, hoisting his son into his arms. The boy was getting almost too big for him to do that anymore. “Emily is okay.” They hadn’t told Jack about the baby yet. Quite simply, they hadn’t found the right time to do it. Though with the way Jack was with Gabi, Aaron had a feeling he’d be over the moon about a new brother or sister. Aaron was hoping it would be a sister.

“Can I go see?”

Sometimes, it made Aaron laugh how alike they were. Jack was fiercely overprotective of Emily because Emily was Daddy’s friend. Aaron knew Jack preferred to see his Daddy happy and if that meant Emily, Jack would do anything to keep her. “I can’t go up there, buddy. I’d break every rule in the wedding handbook.”

“I can take him,” Dave offered from the couch. The older man had been ready for ages.

“Can I go, Daddy?”

“You can go,” Aaron finally agreed. “But don’t get in Emily’s way, okay?”

“I won’t,” Jack promised solemnly. His little legs carried him quickly to the door before he thought better of it and turned back to his father. “Can I take the bracelet?”

Aaron grinned. He’d shown Jack the little present he’d gotten Emily for this special day and had originally thought to give her tomorrow. With the day as it was, however, it seemed just as good of an idea to give it to her today. “Sure,” he agreed.

Jack scampered back, grabbing the medium-sized jewellery box before heading back to where Dave waited by the door.

Aaron watched them leave before turning to Derek again. “She’s really okay?” His brain had already calculated the time she could probably have to nap before the reception. And if they bumped back the reception an hour or so, she could have a good nap before having to deal with the politics again.

“She’s really okay. She woke up right when the EMTs got there. She hadn’t eaten anything, Hotch. I’m sure she’s fine.”

That really didn’t stop him from worrying.

 

“Emmy?”

Emily smiled in the mirror at Jack as he came in, grasping Dave’s hand. “Hey Jack.”

“Are you hurt?”

Emily tried not to roll her eyes. Derek had probably told them. She was sure it was pure luck that had Jack coming up here and not Aaron. “Thanks Dave,” she said to the older man.

“No problem. I’ll go tell him you’re perfectly fine and absolutely beautiful.”

Emily laughed. Her girls had wanted to do everything in the opposite order. Emily didn’t mind. Her dress wasn’t uncomfortable by any means so she didn’t mind wandering around in it and her bare feet for a while. Jack tucked himself against her side as she sat at the vanity again. Penelope and JJ had literally shoved her mother out the door, Gabrielle too, and Emily had seen her father come to whisk her mother away. Elizabeth Prentiss had certainly been offended that anyone had the guts to throw her out of her daughter’s bridal suite.

The stress and havoc had decreased significantly since then. Emily was just waiting for Penelope, JJ and Charlotte to finish their own hair and makeup before they bore down on her. She’d promised Penelope free reign on her hair and JJ had taken it upon herself to choose Emily’s makeup. In fact, Emily felt much more comfortable with her friends doing her hair and makeup than a professional. Tomorrow, it was all on her anyway.

She pulled Jack up on her lap. “How are you Mister Hotchner.”

“I’m okay,” Jack answered. “This is for you. From Daddy.”

Emily hadn’t even noticed the box in his hands when he came in. “What is it?”

“I can’t tell you! It’s a present and presents are supposed to be surprises!” Jack admonished.

Emily chuckled as she untied the gorgeous white and silver ribbon, taking the card first.

 _To my bride, consider this your something new_  
Love,  
Aaron

The smile erupted quickly over her face. Sometimes his tenderness surprised her. He was so incredibly reserved at work, so intensely private, that there were times his absolute saccharine sweetness blindsided her. She opened the box carefully, her arms still wrapped around Jack to steady him. She gasped as she caught sight of the gift. It was a beautiful charm bracelet. Emily would bet that the silver was real, but it was the three charms that had her heart swelling. A heart, a small tied bow and a butterfly. “Jack, it’s beautiful.”

Jack’s smile was huge as it spread across his face. “Daddy said you’d like it.”

“I love it,” Emily promised, kissing the side of Jack’s head. “It’s the perfect finish for this dress.” And it was something new. She had something old – diamond earrings that had been her mother’s for her wedding – and her something borrowed came in the form of her beautiful ballet flats that had been Charlotte’s. Her something blue had appeared at the bridal shower JJ and Penelope had finally managed to squeeze in. Emily just hoped Aaron enjoyed the present too.

She quickly looped the bracelet around her wrist and though it took Jack a few tries, he managed to get it clasped, despite Emily’s giggles. Jack still seemed solemn. “Everything okay, Jack?”

“Daddy was really worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” she promised again, wrapping her arms tighter around him to hug him. “Daddy worries too much.”

“Even Uncle Derek seemed worried,” Jack argued. “He brought Gabi and the other boy back to our room.”

“Because Penelope and JJ were busy,” Emily answered. “They’ve been helping me get ready.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Emily answered, holding up her pinky finger. Jack was in that pinky swearing phase and Emily didn’t mind humouring him, especially today. His little pinky linked with hers and they shook.

“Jack!”

“Hiya, Miss Jenny,” Jack answered, not moving from Emily’s lap. He’d actually been a little bit scared. Emily was fun and though she wasn’t Mommy, she was a pretty good second one. None of his friends had a first mommy and a second mommy.

“Are you ready to help Daddy today?” JJ asked, setting her makeup bag on the desk in front of Emily. She and Penelope had discussed the way they wanted Emily to look for this wedding and agreed that it was going to be best to simply play up the beauty that Emily was. Any more makeup than she usually wore and both women were sure she’d just look like a doll. For a woman who seemed to have inherited beauty by the ton, it seemed unfair to hide it under and artificial mask.

Jack nodded. “But Daddy wouldn’t give me the rings. He said he was worried they’d get lost. I wouldn’t lose them, I promise!”

“Daddy’s just nervous,” JJ answered seriously. “I’m sure he trusts you very much.”

“He let me bring Emmy’s present,” Jack said seriously, fingers moving to play with the little heart on the bracelet.

“It’s very pretty,” JJ agreed.

Jack watched as JJ pulled out a few colours and looked back and forth between them and Emily’s face. “Miss Jenny, what are you doing?”

“We’re going to make Emily even prettier,” she replied with a smile. “And Penelope’s going to do her hair.”

“But I like Emmy’s hair,” Jack protested.

Emily grinned. She’d left it down and her natural curls were cascading down her back. Her hair was longer than usual, falling between her shoulder blades. She hadn’t had time to get it cut. “I don’t think Penelope has anything drastic in mind,” she told Jack. “I’ll still be the same me.”

Jack seemed to consider this for a moment before shrugging. “It’s okay, I guess.”

“Glad we have your approval,” JJ snickered.

“What’s that?”

“That you said it was okay,” Emily answered, tilting her head so JJ could apply the foundation.

“Why, if it isn’t Mister Hotchner,” Penelope exclaimed, finally coming out of the other bedroom. “How are the boys?”

“Okay, I guess. Daddy got scared ‘cause Grandmum told him Emily fainted,” Jack said seriously. “But Uncle Derek was talking to him when Mr Dave brought me down here.”

“Oh really?” Penelope asked, setting the small kit she was carrying on a nearby chair. Bobby pins were the first thing she pulled from the case and with a few deft brushes and a couple of well-placed bobby pins, she had half of Emily’s hair pinned back. She’d seen the elaborate up-dos that Gabrielle and Elizabeth had chosen and winced painfully. Emily wasn’t that type of woman and Penelope knew she absolutely hated hairspray. The next goal was securing the gauzy white veil.

“Uh huh,” Jack agreed, nodding and continuing to play with the bracelet. “And Gabi tried to eat a block.”

Penelope blew out a breath as she went about fixing the veil. “She’s at that point now. Everything can go in her mouth.”

“But why?” Jack asked.

“Because she’s curious,” Penelope replied. “She wants to try everything.”

“But she could get hurt.”

Penelope met Emily’s eyes in the mirror, speaking through the glance of how adorable Jack was when protective. “That’s why Uncle Derek and I have to watch her pretty close. To make sure she doesn’t put anything in her mouth she shouldn’t.”

“Does she do it all the time?”

“Lately, she puts _everything_ in her mouth,” Penelope answered, exaggerating her voice. “Uncle Derek and I have to hide everything.”

“Really?” Jack asked. “I don’t know if Daddy ever did that for me.”

“I bet he did,” Emily answered. “I bet he and your Mommy had to hide every little thing you could get your hands on. I bet you were a little trouble maker.”

“I was not!” Jack exclaimed as he giggled. Emily’s fingers knew every single ticklish spot on his small body.

It was a flash that drew all of their attention. Charlotte stood with a huge grin on her face and a digital camera held up in front of her. “I couldn’t resist.”

Emily didn’t mind. There had been cameras floating about all day.

“Can I see?” Jack asked, holding out his hands.

Charlotte handed the camera over to Emily who, with a few buttons, brought up the picture. And she promptly almost passed out again. Jack was cuddled in her lap, face lit up in laughter. Emily’s grin was wide, her dress spread around her and it was apparent that Penelope had just finished pinning the veil on. Even Penelope and JJ were laughing. Emily felt tears coming to her eyes. It was a beautiful picture.

“Why are you crying?”

Jack’s voice brought her back and she gratefully accepted the tissue from JJ’s outstretched hand, dabbing at the corners of her eyes to stem any running mascara. “I like the picture.”

“But it’s making you sad!”

Emily laughed. “No, honey. It made me happy.”

Jack blew out a breath. “You cry when you’re happy and you cry when you’re sad... You adults are so confusing!”


	15. Chapter 15

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Sean asked, looking over at his brother.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Sean smiled. “How long have you been waiting for this moment?” He hadn’t seen his brother smile this much in a long time. It was a nice change. Emily was a nice change.

“Too long,” Aaron replied, still grinning. “Way too long.”

Sean believed it. Haley was a nice girl, and a good first marriage for his brother, but Emily.... It was clichéd and it was almost stupid, but Emily complimented Aaron much better than Haley ever had. Emily didn’t demand as much of Aaron’s time or attention and yet, she got it effortlessly. Emily, Sean knew, had a better hold on Aaron than Haley ever had, and he had no regrets, qualms or awkward feelings about comparing the two women in the slightest, unlike his brother. Because there were just too many differences between both women _not_ to compare them.

Aaron had chased Haley from start to finish and, in Sean’s opinion, hadn’t been control at all. Haley called the shots from day one even though it was Aaron that had done most of the chasing. With Emily, Sean saw much more give and take. Emily had a better way of dealing with Aaron’s insecurities than Haley and she seemed to have a much better grasp of Aaron in general. She profiled him, Sean knew it, and it paid off royally. Because Aaron was hers and not Haley’s, a result of Haley’s own choices.

Emily knew how to both humour and handle Aaron. She could keep up with the political sphere and Sean knew her fundamental understanding of Aaron came from her own experiences and understanding of the job they both did and loved. Emily understood that the BAU was Aaron Hotchner just as much as his family was, if not more so. She knew because she lived that life alongside him, every second, every moment, good or bad. And Sean knew that was a reason Aaron had fallen so hard and so fast for his subordinate.

Which was another story entirely. Sean wasn’t stupid enough to think Aaron would break the FBI rules for just anyone. Aaron wasn’t that type of person. Sean knew Aaron had a very good idea of what was at stake when he started his relationship with Emily, must have known that it would affect her more than it could ever affect him. Part of Sean was surprised that Aaron had taken such a big risk. At the same time, the payoff was probably better.

And Sean liked Emily, much more than he’d liked Haley. The foundation was Emily’s easy understanding of Aaron. Haley didn’t have that basic understanding and friction between the high-and-mighty Haley Hotchner and his brother was frequent and often underhanded. Emily cared about Aaron first and foremost, would put his own happiness and well-being above her own in an instant, and Sean knew Aaron would do the same to her. He hoped, for both of their sakes, it never came to that, but he knew she would do it. Haley had asked Aaron to leave the BAU for her. He’d turned around and made sure Emily stayed as well. That should have been the first tip off.

 _Well_ , he thought to himself, _It doesn’t matter now._

Because Aaron was getting married to the one person who probably knew him better than he knew himself, and Sean couldn’t have asked for a better woman than Emily Prentiss.

 

Aaron had to take a deep breath when the organist began to play. This was really it. Well, part one of ‘It’ anyway. He was about to spend the next two days marrying Emily and then the following two weeks with her around Europe. His heart was in his throat at the thought and he couldn’t seem to make his fingers stay still. He was glad Sean was holding onto Jack or Aaron was sure the poor boy would be scared for his father’s well-being.

He watched, as patiently as he could, as each of the bridesmaids and finally Penelope and JJ came down the aisle. When he caught sight of Emily, he knew his breath had caught and his heart definitely did a flip. It was quite obviously a dress she’d chosen herself. The Ambassador and his mother would have never gone for something as simple as what Emily was currently wearing. The dress was strapless, cut straight across her chest. The fabric pulled down, almost looking as if it tied behind her right hip. The skirt was gauzy but simple, exactly what he expected from the Emily he knew all too well.

Her arm was linked with her father’s, but her eyes were on him, those dark eyes that expressed so much. He loved her eyes. And it was obvious they’d been one of the features whoever had taken on the task of her makeup had seen fit to accentuate. They were bottomless and sparkling and Aaron knew it was from tears. She was as ecstatic about this moment as he was. And he knew, as much as she hated all of the hassle and as much as the rational, practical part of her would have loved to keep their wedding to the simple ceremony tomorrow, she was loving this. Because deep inside, Emily wanted to be as much of a princess as every other woman on her wedding day.

And she was that. He couldn’t keep any sort of smile less than a hundred watt grin on his face as he took her hand, the one Jonathan held out for him. His thumb brushed against the back of it, her skin soft as ever beneath his touch. The bracelet he’d sent down with Jack sparkled on her wrist and made him smile. Everything about her made him smile at that particular moment. So much so, that the large majority of the first part of the ceremony, he was unaware was even happening. It was Emily tugging on his hands, an amused smile on her face.

“Sorry?”

A tittering of laughter rang out through the church.

“The vows, Aaron,” the priest said.

Aaron took a deep breath, trying to recall the words his mother had made him swear to memorize. “I, Aaron, take you, Emily, to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children and my wife. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.”

“Emily,” the priest prompted.

Emily had to sniffle. “I, Emily, take your, Aaron, to be my friend, my lover, the father of my children and my husband.” She paused to take a deep breath, releasing one of his hands to blot a tear out of the corner of her eye. “I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph.” She had to stop again, looking away from Aaron and his own tear-filled eyes. She’d known she was going to make it through the ceremony. “I promise to cherish you and respect you,” she said, voice quieting substantially, choking on her tears. “To care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.”

“The rings, please.”

Aaron let go of Emily to turn to Jack. The little boy turned to Sean who placed the two platinum wedding bands in his hands. Jack handed them to Aaron. Aaron kept one for himself and handed the other one to Emily. “With this ring, I thee wed,” he said quietly, locking his eyes with hers as he slipped the band over the ring finger on her left hand until it lay snug with her engagement ring.

Emily took his hand, singling out the ring finger of his left hand, running her thumb over the skin where she knew his ring would rest. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“Since the bride and groom have agreed to sign their marriage licence at a later date, Aaron, you may now kiss your new wife.”

That was something Aaron could do.


	16. Chapter 16

“Where are Emily and Aaron?”

Emily would recognize the sound of her mother’s voice anywhere and she groaned and cuddled tighter into Aaron’s body. The three Hotchners – because Emily now considered herself one, even though, for the sake of ease in the FBI she wasn’t going to change her name – were cuddled on the bed in the suite Emily and Aaron were set to share for the night. Aaron had whisked her away almost immediately after the photos were finished for a nap and wouldn’t, under any circumstances, take no for an answer. Emily had fallen asleep almost the second her head had hit the pillow. Pregnancy was wreaking havoc on her sleeping patterns.

She heard Aaron chuckle from above her and she looked up and glared at her new husband. “I hate you.”

He kissed her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“I was fine before my nap,” Emily replied, stretching herself out. She’d changed into a pair of his boxers and one of his standard white t-shirts for her nap to preserve her dress. She knew how he reacted to seeing her in his clothes. If it wasn’t for Jack, she was sure there was no way she would have had that nap at all.

“Emily Catherine Prentiss! You are not dressed!”

Emily buried her head in Aaron’s shoulder, trying in vain to play the childish game of I-Can’t-See-You-You-Can’t-See-Me. She felt more than heard Aaron laugh again.

“Sweetheart, I’m not sure that even works for Jack anymore so it’s certainly not going to work for you.”

“Are you sure you want to fight with me right now, Mister Hotchner?” Emily asked, looking up at him and raising an eyebrow, ignoring her mother for the moment.

“Of course not, Mrs Hotchner,” he replied, and Emily watched his eyes flash at the name. “But we do need to get up.”

Emily breathed in deep before sitting up. The nausea and dizziness hit her at once and she groaned loudly as she bolted to the bathroom.  Today was not a good day for sickness. She felt Aaron rubbing her back soothingly and sighed. “I figured I was fine.”

“It happens,” he tried to reassure her. “It may just be stress.”

“I’m not supposed to be under any stress,” Emily responded softly, using his help to stand. She tucked herself against his side as he led her back out of the bathroom to the main room of the suite where juice stood waiting, as did Penelope with a huge grin.

“Hey there, girl. You drink, I’ll fix the hair, we’ll do the dress and have you to the reception before your mother actually has a coronary.”

“Where did she go?”

“I’m right here, Emily.”

Emily managed not to actually wince. “Hello, Mother.”

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

“Yes you are.”

“No, Mother, I’m not,” Emily repeated as she took the glass of juice Penelope held out for her.

“Fainting this morning, throwing up now, Emily that isn’t you.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that Emily had grown up with her mother, she would have sworn Elizabeth Prentiss had permanent mood swings. A knock on the door saved her from having to justify herself to her mother. Her father was on the other side and he smiled widely. “Hi.”

“Hi Daddy. I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

“She threw up, Jonathan,” Elizabeth interjected. “Just a minute ago.”

Jonathan was at his daughter’s side in the blink of an eye, pressing his wrist to her forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

“I’m not sick!” Emily said in exasperation. “I’m pregnant!”

The room went silent.

“Pregnant, Bunny?” Jonathan asked, voice breathy.

“Yeah, Daddy. The doctor confirmed it a month ago. I’m due in January.”

Elizabeth had already fallen into one of the cushioned chairs by the window and Emily darted her gaze there before her eyes met her father’s again. Slowly, as the knowledge sunk in, a smile started spreading across his face. “Pregnant?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Emily repeated. “We wanted to wait until the first trimester was over until we told you just to make sure everything was okay.”

“Emily,” Elizabeth breathed, the shock still on her face.

Emily was growing antsy. Her father’s smile was the only reaction other than surprise and shock. Until her father wrapped her up in his arms.

“Congratulations,” he whispered in her ear as he hugged her.

Emily hugged him back, but her mind was on her mother. Emily was well aware that children, to her mother, were accessories. She’d come to terms with that long ago and though it was often what created the friction between her and Elizabeth, she’d accepted it. But she was a little nervous as to whether her mother would react with joy or derision. Elizabeth Prentiss was always full of surprises. She was so focused, she didn’t hear a phone ring, nor did she hear Penelope quickly excuse herself when she answered said phone. She missed Jack calling for his daddy, too.

Eventually, when the room had all but cleared, Elizabeth stood and made her way towards her daughter. She took Emily’s hands, bowing her head slightly, hiding her eyes. “Emily.”

Emily could have sworn she heard tears in her mother’s voice. “Mother.”

There were tears in Elizabeth’s eyes when she looked up at Emily. “Having a child is the greatest blessing a woman could ask for,” she began quietly.

Emily tried not to look stunned.

“I know I put my career before you and your brother many times... You, sweetheart, will be a fantastic mother.”

That meant more to Emily than Elizabeth could ever know. It was one of her biggest worries about bringing a child into the world, and especially the world as she knew it. She was very much aware of what type of people preyed on children and youth and it was a scary concept for a mother-to-be.

“Congratulations,” Elizabeth whispered, pulling her daughter into a hug.

“Thanks,” Emily whispered back, hugging her tightly. She was sure she heard her mother sniffle before the older woman pulled away.

“Let’s get you dressed again and ready for the reception,” the elder Prentiss woman suggested, eyes glimmering.

Emily wiped at her own eyes. She turned with her mother to head back to the bedroom and her dress.

“I’ll call Penelope and Jennifer. There are a few things Gabrielle and I need to take care of before we’re ready for you. Now go wash your face clean. Your mascara’s running.”

Emily rolled her eyes and smiled. “I love you too, Mother.”

Elizabeth caught her arm before she stepped into the bedroom. “I do love you, Emily.”

Emily leaned over to kiss her mother’s cheek briefly. “I know. Take Daddy with you or he’ll hover and trust me when I say Aaron hovers enough.

“Twenty minutes, Emily.”

There was the Elizabeth Prentiss she was used to. “Yes Mother.”

 

Emily had to admit surprise at how tasteful and surprisingly simple Gabrielle and her mother had kept the decorations for the reception. White was accented by a deep green, carnations and ivy flowing over glass vases in the center of the tables. Actually, Emily would bet the vases were crystal. She doubted there was any expense spared for a wedding such as hers and Aaron’s.

What did surprise her was how generally subdued the meal was. She knew it was an open bar and she had to admit to surprise that they guests weren’t more inebriated. Politics often required alcohol and Emily couldn’t remember a political-centered function where copious amounts of alcohol weren’t involved. It was almost an unwritten rule of sorts. The other thing that had surprised her was how she didn’t miss the alcohol herself. It was a well-known fact that Emily hated politics. Even her parents knew it. But with a baby on the way, alcohol was out for a while and Emily found herself so preoccupied with the idea of being married and an impatient Jack to even think about the usual stress of politics.

Now she faced the podium where Sean and Chris were politely sharing the Master of Ceremonies position. It had just seemed right. Sean was Aaron’s best man and when they’d been discussing their choices for MC, Emily had flat out said there was no way she’d be able to choose between JJ and Penelope, her own maids of honour. Chris was the next best choice.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have one more set of speeches before our bride and groom share their first dance,” Chris began.

“And that’s the speeches by the maid of honour and the best man. We drew straws, and I’m up first.”

Emily leaned back against Aaron, who’d moved his chair closer to hers. Jack sat on Aaron’s lap, settling herself in for a speech she knew she wouldn’t be prepared for. She knew very little about Aaron’s relationship with his brother. Her nose wrinkled at that thought. She should really remedy that.

“As you all know, Aaron and I haven’t exactly been close over the years. We’ve had more than our fair share of disagreements over the years and we haven’t really made a secret out of it. So imagine my surprise when we actually found something we agreed on? And who would have ever thought it would be a woman. And no, Emily, that doesn’t mean I want you to marry me.”

The room tittered in laughter.

“I can remember the first time I talked to Aaron about Emily. It was Christmas time, and I was completely surprised by the way he talked about her. Aaron isn’t one to generally share his feelings, but it was so obvious that he loved her. And that was only the very, very beginning of his relationship. I have only seen this relationship grow stronger. I’ve only known Emily to stand beside him for everything in the last two years and even before that. Emily has always been a rock and she’s been someone who understood my brother more than anyone I can think of. Emily, we owe you. “

Emily grinned at the implication.

“Seriously,” Sean continued. “We owe you. But, as I’m sure you already know, it won’t be easy. He’s an ass. He’s the most stubborn person you’ll ever meet. But he adores you and that makes you one hell of a lucky woman.” He raised his class. “To Emily and Aaron.”

Emily stood as Sean walked by, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Sean replied, shaking his brother’s hand.

Chris cleared his throat into the microphone. “Now, I know the maid of honour speech is supposed to be next, but both of my sister’s beautiful maids of honour decided to defer the honour. So, naturally, I took it upon myself to write a little something about my sister.”

Emily groaned and dropped her head forward, hearing Aaron chuckle as his hand kneaded her shoulder.

“You’d never think to look at us, but Emily was always the one who got in the most trouble. I took the blame for it, of course, but that was only because Emily would flash her puppy dog eyes and _everyone_ would bow to her every whim. Let me tell you, the house got quiet when she finally decided to go away to Yale. And I didn’t know what to do with myself for about a year. Because, to me, Emily was more than my sister. She is more than my sister. Emily is my best friend. I know it sounds clichéd, but it’s endlessly true.

“The first time I ‘met’ Aaron was at a Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ and I have to admit, I was shocked. Aaron was everything I thought Emily hated, and yet, you could see by the easy way they communicated, that he was exactly what she needed. And totally what she wanted. And I’m no behavourialist, so I can only imagine what your team thought.”

“We didn’t know!” Derek called up to him with a laugh.

Chris cocked his head to the side, considering the comment. “True. There aren’t two people in the world that can hide their emotions as well as these two. Except from each other. And that’s what really matters. Em, I’m sorry I got married before you.”

Emily and Aaron both chuckled.

“But tonight is your night. Aaron... I’m not even sure what to say to you. She’s stubborn, endlessly so, and she has this uncanny ability to drive anyone nuts. But never let it be said she doesn’t care deeply and because she does, she falls harder than most. That’s where you come in. I know you care about my sister and anyone who has spent two minutes in a casual conversation with you guys can see how much you care. And despite what you guys are likely to face, I’m sure you can get through it. Together.”

Emily felt tears burning her eyes again as her brother stepped away from the podium to applause. She stood and hugged him tightly.

Chris hugged her back. “I don’t want any late night calls okay? Unless they’re about Aaron. No more, Em.”

Emily understood what he meant. It was time for her husband to take that place in her life, fully and completely. Well, for the most part anyway. Emily knew she still had Penelope and JJ when things got really bad. She hugged him tighter for a moment before finally letting go.

Sean took the podium again, clearing his throat. “If we can get Senator Prentiss and Mrs Hotchner on the floor please? Its time for you to dance with your daughter.”


	17. Chapter 17

Jonathan grinned widely as he took Emily’s hand, easily swinging her into his arms. Emily laughed. Her first dance lessons had been with her father at the tender age of six and he’s been her absolute favourite dance partner since.

“You know, I don’t believe I got the chance to tell you how beautiful you look today.”

Emily blushed and smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

“And I’m proud of you.”

“I know, Daddy.”

“No, Em. Seriously.”

Emily met her father’s eyes, curiosity shining in them.

“You’ve... you’ve done some spectacular things with your life, Bunny.”

“Daddy...”

“You are so smart and so talented...”

Emily was completely shocked at the tears she could see in her father’s eyes.

“You’ve done everything for yourself, despite who I am, despite who your mother is. You’ve made a name for yourself in the FBI, Em. One of the biggest Boys Clubs in the world and yet... I was talking to your friend Derek while we were getting ready this morning and he only had the most fantastic things to say about you, about your work.”

“Daddy....”

“I’m not finished,” Jonathan interrupted with a huge grin. “We all know that politics will always play a role in your life and sometimes I wish it wasn’t like that. I wish your name was your own making and not influenced in any way by me or by your mother. But you have proven to me that you can literally do anything you put your mind to.”

“You taught me that,” Emily interrupted. “You always told me to do that.”

Jonathan kissed her temple. “I can’t take all that much credit.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “We’re too much alike.”

“Are we?” Jonathan laughed.

“We’re never going to take credit where it may be due,” Emily replied with a wide grin. “And you’re being extremely sentimental.”

“It’s your wedding,” Jonathan defended. “I’m allowed to be sentimental. Can’t I be proud of my little girl?”

“You’re going to make your ‘baby girl’ cry,” Emily replied.

“Aaron will get worried if you cry.”

“Aaron worries way too much,” Emily replied with an affectionate smile. “Even more now that I’m pregnant.”

Jonathan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Pregnant. My baby girl really is all grown up. Married, starting a family... But you will always be my baby girl, my Bunny.”

Emily was smiling as she sniffled. “You’ll always be Daddy.”

The music came to a close and Jonathan and Emily slowly stopped swaying.

“And now, the bride and groom will share their first dance.”

Emily glanced over as Aaron stepped up to her and her father. She flashed him a brief, brilliant smile, but her father kept a hold on her.

“I love you, Bunny,” Jonathan whispered as he pressed his lips against her forehead.

Emily kissed her father’s cheek as she accepted Aaron’s hand. “I love you too, Daddy.”

Then Aaron swept her up in a couple of complicated steps before settling in with her in the middle of the dance floor. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Emily said with exasperation. “I think you can stop asking me that.”

The hand that rested on her waist slid around to rest against her stomach. “Of course I’m worried.”

“Honey, I’m not sick. I’m nothing but pregnant, and this Baby has enough protection,” she said. “You need to stop worrying so much.”

“You fainted this morning,” Aaron replied. “Stress. Maybe you should think about-“

Emily knew what was coming. “Not only are we not having this conversation here and now, but there is no way I’m riding a desk before my sixth month.”

He knew that tone of voice. And he wasn’t willing to argue with her on their wedding day. So he pulled her closer, sealing his mouth to hers. “I don’t want to argue with you,” he murmured against her mouth.

She kissed him again, both of her arms wrapping around his hips. “You’re picking a fight.”

“I don’t want to fight with you either.”

She hummed into their next kiss, feeling her body react to the feeling of him pressed against her, the emotions racing through her and her hormones. “Is Jack staying with us tonight?”

“Garcia and Derek said they’d drop him off.”

“Are they going home?”

His hand snuck beneath her hair as his thumb stroked the delicate skin under her ear. “They want to take Gabi home. Fran’s looking after her tomorrow.”

Emily moaned softly. She loved his hands. “So we have the suite to ourselves.”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed into her mouth.

“And we’ll both be completely sober,” she continued, letting her fingers slowly start playing along the waistband of his pants, her hands under his jacket.

“I think I know where this is going, Mrs Hotchner.”

Emily shivered at the name. “Oh?”

“You and me making excellent use of the alone time, a suite to ourselves...”

“There’s a Jacuzzi bathtub in the suite,” she whispered, pressing her cheek against his. Any more kissing and she’d want more.

His groan was visceral. “You’re tempting me.”

Emily chuckled as his hand trailed down her back to press her even closer and she could feel him against her. “Just a few more hours. Then I’m all yours.”

“And I am going to take full advantage.”

She dragged her hands back up his chest to wrap around his neck. “I certainly hope so.”

 

JJ’s head was totally not in Emily and Hotch’s reception. She was dancing absently with Dave, but her mind was on something completely different. It was on Spencer and his date. As a person, JJ had absolutely no problem with Detective Becky Chard. When she was with Spencer, however, JJ couldn’t seem to make her mind and body stop reacting to the scene. Hurt had flooded her system when she’d seen them sitting together in the church pew and it had taken all of her willpower to keep smiling as she stood up with Emily.

And no matter what she told herself, she couldn’t keep her mind off of it. She’d tried telling herself that it was Emily’s day and she deserved a best friend that was as happy for her as she was. Still, there was very little JJ could do. For the first time in a long time she couldn’t get a handle on her emotions. Regardless of her new plans to change her life, it didn’t make it any easier to see him laughing with her.

“You’re not here.”

JJ knew there was no point in denying it. “It makes me feel so selfish.”

Dave shrugged. “I’m not sure they’ve noticed.”

“True enough,” JJ agreed with a little laugh. Emily and Hotch seemed way too wrapped up in each other to notice much going on around them. “I still feel like I should be here.”

“Your party is tomorrow,” Dave pointed out. “It’s not really your event.”

“But it is hers,” JJ continued to argue. “And she’s my best friend.”

“Which is the reason you have tomorrow. I wouldn’t stress yourself out today.”

She looked up, catching the knowing look in his eyes. “I’m being stupid.”

“No different than usual.”

“Because that makes me feel better.” Sarcasm was thick in her tone.

“No one’s been giving you sympathy.”

“I know. I haven’t decided whether or not it’s a nice change.”

 

The next morning had both blond FBI agents. JJ and Penelope had been a whirlwind of activity since they’d awoken. From beginning to end, they’d done nothing but race around to try and ensure each and every thing they’d planned was going to go off without a hitch. JJ was totally not ready for her phone to ring.

“If that is the FBI they are going to regret picking up that phone,” Penelope said as she pinned another flower to the ivy of the awning Emily and Aaron were going to say their self-written vows under.

“Jareau.”

“Jenny, where are you?”

“Jackson?”


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a long time since Jackson Jareau had called his little sister so it took JJ a few minutes to get over her shock. “What do you mean where am I?”

“Did you forget that I was finished today?”

JJ wracked her brain, trying to remember the last time she had talked to her brother. “Um... I’m setting up for... my best friend’s wedding.”

“Jenny, you promised to pick me up after my meeting. Remember how you don’t like flying coach and I told you I’d stay longer and fly back with you?”

JJ raised a hand to her forehead. “I’m so sorry, Jackson, I’ve been...”

“Preoccupied? You sounded like it when we were on the phone last week.”

“There’s been a lot going on.” She covered the phone with her hand. “Pen, I have to run for a minute.”

Penelope waved her off. “Charlotte’s going to be here in like twenty minutes. Go.”

“I’m on my way.”

 

Jackson Jareau was a typical country boy dressed in a business man’s suit. He’d made a name for himself in Pennsylvania after leaving the family small town of East Allegheny. Much like his sister, he had worked for everything in his life and he’d worked hard. His parents were endlessly proud of him for what he’d done and he knew JJ had never really felt comfortable with the praise their parents gave him and his other brothers, and yet seemed to overlook the brilliant work Jenny did.

Jackson and JJ had always been close. Jackson had watched over little Jenny through thick and thin, had been at every single one of his sister’s soccer games and had never missed a good grade. He’d even been there the day Jenny graduated from the FBI Academy with proud smiles and a camera. Some of his favourite pictures were from that day.

When his baby sister had called to ask if she could spend some time with him in Pittsburgh, he’d jumped at the chance to have her home again. It had been years since she’d returned to Pennsylvania without her job as her excuse. In fact, it had been longer than years. Jenny avoided Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter like the plague.

“Jackson.”

He turned, spotting her short blond head as Jenny made her way through the crowd. She’d promised to pick him up from the hotel he was staying at in Washington DC that morning and when she hadn’t been there he’d called her. The Jenny he knew wouldn’t forget anything like that. He opened his arms and she stepped into them willingly. “Hey.”

“Sorry,” she apologized again. “It’s been a crazy couple of days.”

“You said something about a wedding?”

“My best friend,” she responded, pulling away. “We’re putting together a small little reception for her and her new husband. They’re going to do the signing of the certificates and legal documents too.” She seemed to pause for a moment. “I can get you an invitation if you’ve got nothing to do this afternoon.”

“You know I’ve got nothing.”

She nodded. “Now you do.”

 

It was a much quieter happier group that gathered in one of the small conference rooms of the hotel later that day, drinking, chatting and laughing with each other and the newlyweds. Aaron and Emily had opted for a much, much more subdued affair and thus, the intimate invitations had been carefully and casually worded to impress upon the guests the difference in atmosphere. And how very different it was. Emily and Aaron mixed and mingled with everyone, a small table set up at one end of the room with Penelope’s carefully and beautifully decorated trellis. Emily wore white again, but this time, it was and a-line, spaghetti strap cocktail dress with white heels. Aaron wore a dark suit and tie.

Justice David Mann was a long-standing friend of the Hotchners and had watched Aaron grow up. He hadn’t been there for his first marriage, but upon hearing he was marrying none other than Emily Prentiss, the daughter of a man he golfed with on a semi-regular basis, he’d all but cleared his schedule for the dates they’d provided. And he’d been more than happy to oversee this second little ceremony. “Aaron? Emily? Shall we deal with the administration portion of the evening?”

Aaron looked over with a smile at the way Mann’s voice carried over everyone. He took Emily’s proffered hand and they made their way over to the trellis. He could see the flashes going off as he took Emily’s hands. He turned to the crowd with a smile. “My wife and I flipped a coin to see who would go first.” Laughter floated around the room from those who knew both best. “I won.” More laughter. “Now I’m not so sure I wanted to win.”

Still, he took a deep breath as he faced Emily. The vows from the previous day hadn’t been their own. They’d been surprisingly head on – Aaron would bet that was the little bit of influence Charlotte had managed over her mother-in-law – but still, not exactly what he’d hoped to say to the so very unique and extraordinary woman standing in front of him. He cleared his throat, stroking the back of her left hand with his thumb.

“I had this all memorized and now I can’t seem to remember a word of it,” he told her softly, mirroring her watery smile. “I had a speech written about the day we met, how much I hate politics, how much you hate politics, how I was looking forward to starting a new chapter in our lives, this one together... now it just seems...”

“Clichéd?” Emily interjected.

“Exactly. I could tell you about how your smile lights up my day, about how the days you’re not in the office are torture for me, about how easy it is to sit with you and watch a movie. I could say I love your smile, your eyes, when you curl your hair, the way you look with Jack, the way you handle cases without batting an eye... But nothing I can put into words will explain how much I truly love you.”

His smile was shaky as he readjusted his grip on her hands. He knew this was some of the most emotion he’d ever shown to his teammates, his subordinates, but he didn’t seem to want to care. Or he just didn’t. “You have put up with so much, Emily. I love you so much.”

Emily sniffled, looking down before meeting his eyes again.

“I’ve put up with so much?” she asked, voice cracking. “You put up with how stubborn I am, how independent I am. You put up with me when I couldn’t even wash my hair, when I had nightmares that almost ripped out stitches in my stomach and you’re telling me that I’ve put up with so much?”

He chuckled with her.

“Aaron Hotchner, loving you feels like it’s always been a part of me. It sounds stupid, it sound clichéd but if there is one person who finds some way to just fit into my life, it’s been you. I’m not sure when seeing you everyday became a necessity. I’m not sure when you wouldn’t leave my head. All I remember is I woke up one day, to you beside me and... my life seemed... complete.

“I could tell you that seeing you with your son makes me swoon, that your dimples are the most adorable things in my whole world, that the way you hold me makes me feel protected, like there is nothing in the world that can hurt me. You’ve never questioned my intelligence and you are one of the very few people who did not run when you found out how incredibly geeky I am.”

Her voice dropped off with her next words. “You make me feel like the only woman in the world and I have no idea what on earth I could have done to deserve that. But whatever I did, I’m glad because you and Jack and this new baby are the center of my world. You’re the things that matter. Saying I love you doesn’t seem to cover it.”

“It’ll do,” he murmured, pulling her close to kiss her.

\--

Minutes later, after signing all the necessary documents with Judge Mann’s promise they’d be filed and through the court ages before they returned from their honeymoon, Emily was in Aaron’s arms again, swaying back and forth to the calming beat of their second husband-wife dance. But it was this one, they both knew, that really mattered. Unlike the previous night, Emily and Aaron hadn’t been allowed even the slightest say into what their song would be, but Emily had recognized the melody as soon as it had floated through the general quiet of the room.

 _It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart_  
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark.  
Try as they may, they could never define,  
What’s being said between your heart and mine...

Emily was humming along with the melody, unsurprised by JJ, Penelope, Derek and Dave’s choice in the song. Or, at least it wasn’t surprising when she looked at the underlying point of the song. After all, wasn’t it their jobs and an uncanny ability to read the other that had brought them together in the first place? She couldn’t argue with something like that. They could read each other better than anyone could read them and it had come in handy a large number of times on the most brutal cases they’d been through.

“You’re singing.”

“I’m humming,” she replied pulling back from where her cheek was pressed to his. “Not the same.” She’d told him time and time again not only didn’t she sing, but she couldn’t.

“You know the song?”

“You’ll laugh.”

“Try me.”

Emily sighed. “There was one time, I was home on medical leave from a case, I can’t remember what happened, but they sent me home, and I was bored. I was flipping through channels, annoyed, frustrated and a little depressed. See, I have this mentality of watching shows-“

“Because they prove there is someone out there, even fictitious, whose life is worse than yours. Cut to the chase, sweetheart.”

“JT sang it to Colleen on her birthday. _Young and the Restless._   It’s been one of my favourite songs since. And you totally took all of the fun out of that story!”

He chuckled, kissing her cheek, then her mouth. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You wanted to hear the story then cut it short,” she replied indignantly.

“I’m busy enjoying a dance with my new wife,” Aaron replied, his hand trailing up her spine, well aware of its affect on the woman in his arms. Sure enough, she shivered in his grip.

“Do you have any idea how good that sounds?” she asked.

“Hmm?” he asked, pulling her closer. Her entire front felt so good pressed against his.

“Wife,” Emily said, chuckling. “The fact that you’re my husband.”

His smile was very, very wide. “Know what? I like it too.”


	19. Chapter 19

JJ gripped the arms of the airplane seat as the captain announced take off, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. Claustrophobia was no small thing when cramped in an airplane. The worst part was she’d originally been assigned a middle seat. It was moments like those she was glad to have a companion. Jackson had offered her the aisle seat without thinking twice.

“I still don’t understand how you can fly all over the country without batting an eye but flying economy gives you the jitteries,” Jackson teased, his head resting back against the seat, eyes closed.

“You’re not helping. And the jet is spacious.”

“So go to sleep.”

“Too nervous.”

Jackson turned his head to face her. His eyes took her in, looking at her carefully. She’d looked beautiful and vibrant as she raced around the reception the previous night. Well, most of it, anyway. He noticed she avoided one particular pair like the plague. Now, sitting beside her, her eyes frightened, he took her in with a much different goal in mind. “Jenny, why are you coming home?”

She glanced at him in confusion. “I haven’t been home in a long time.”

“Yeah, but that’s never gotten you to come visit before. You know Ma and Pa don’t exactly like your choice of career and I know that’s why you avoid home. So why now?”

“I have two weeks off. Emily and Hotch are on their honeymoon.”

“You’re avoiding something.”

JJ glanced over at her brother. What was the point in lying to him? If he was true to form, he’d be pestering her until she told him anyway. “Is it that obvious?”

“To someone like me, yeah. And I don’t even read body language.”

JJ chuckled. “They all know,” she agreed. “It’s just... it’s been a bit of a rough year.”

“Year, Jenn?”

“I need time to recover. I need time to remember who I am and that I have my own independent life.”

“So this is about a guy.”

“Yeah,” she said in a whoosh of a breath. “Dr Spencer Reid.”

“That’s who you were avoiding last night? Him and his girlfriend?” Her fingers tightened on the seat again and he couldn’t decide if it was because of the insinuation that this Dr Reid had a girlfriend or that the plane had started pulling away from the gate.

“Yeah. Dave was a huge help.”

“And who is he?”

JJ winced at the disapproving tone in his voice. “Another agent. He and I are friends.”

“With benefits?”

“Once. Bad decision.”

“Very bad decision if you’re still hung up on Dr Reid.” He paused for a minute. “What happened to you, Jenny?”

He sounded almost disappointed in her and she looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“You were the strong one, the fighter, the one who did whatever it took to get whatever she wanted. I’ve never known you to back down from a decision, never known you to back away from what you wanted. So why is this such an issue?”

He was right and she knew it. Heck, weren’t her parents frustrated with her because she’d picked the FBI over a cushy PR job? Hadn’t they been frustrated with her when she went away to college and played sports? Hadn’t her parents gotten angry with her when she wasn’t the little girly-girl that was stereotypical of small towns? She’d always fought for what she wanted and yet, she’d let Reid go without fighting.

“You’re terrified.”

JJ’s head snapped around to meet her brother’s eyes. “So?”

“So? Tell me, Jenn, could this situation be any worse? You work with the guy, you slept with another one of your co-workers and I’m assuming he found out, and yet this is looking like it’s supposed to be sitting on your shoulders.”

“You think I’m not beating myself up enough already?” she hissed. “I hate it.”

“Then change it.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Of course it is. Everything was always easy for you. This is what I mean.”

“Emily and Penelope have been saying the same thing.”

“Smart women. Beautiful women. Lethal combination.”

“Out of your league. And taken.”

“Digressing.”

“I like bunny trails.”

“Because you don’t have to face your fears. What happened to my sister?”

“She got attacked by dogs, got her partner kidnapped and almost killed, basically got him addicted to drugs and broke his heart.”

Jackson paused. She sounded pretty bitter and pretty upset with herself. It was exactly what he was looking for, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed prying it out of her. “So what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you have to have a plan. This wishy-washy Jenny sucks. And you knew your job was dangerous going into it. If Dr Reid is an agent he has to be for a reason, right? And he’s not a drug addict anymore.” He looked to her for confirmation.

“True.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to try not to hyperventilate on this plane right, take two weeks of vacation, spending hopefully a week at home, though we’ll see how well that goes, spend a week with you, and go back to work with a better idea of how to deal with all of this.”

“You think being away from work is going to help?”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?”

“Interesting situation to use that statement in.”

“Bite me.”

“Where?”

JJ sighed. She forgot how aggravating her brother could be. “Where are Jake and John?”

“Changing the subject.”

“Deal.”

“Jake’s climbing the police ladder at home. Ma and Pa are so proud.”

JJ rolled her eyes. Jacob, her oldest brother, was the one that drove her crazy. She was the brother she liked least. But that didn’t mean she didn’t care. Jacob had lost his wife to cancer when his twin son and daughter were just three. JJ knew her parents had pitched in big time to watch them and she adored them. She sent them fun postcards from all of the places she’d been. Joseph, her nephew, was a geography buff and had started writing her back a few years prior. “I bet.”

“John’s in Philly. Married, but you knew that.”

She had been at the wedding. She kept sporadic contact with his wife more than she did with Johnathan. “Are they going to be home?”

“We have dinner with the family every other week. There will be at least one huge get-together.”

“Brilliant.”

“You decided to come home.”

“Remind me again how John’s married before you?”

“I work too hard. Ma keeps telling me that,” Jackson replied with a grin. “I’m having fun.”

“Uh huh. You remind me of Derek.”

“Your colleague right? The one with Penelope?”

“They have the most adorable little girl...”

“You guys have the weirdest little family...”

JJ laughed. “We try.”

“You guys are messed up.”

“No more than we are.” Her breath caught as the plane started take-off. “Gosh.”

“Breathe,” he told her.

She looked over once the plane levelled out, fully expecting him to tease her. But his forehead was wrinkled. “What’s wrong?”

“Jenny.... Jake’s not doing so well.”

“What?”

“He’s... He hasn’t been doing so well.”

“He’s sick?”

Jackson sighed. “He hasn’t been doing well for years.”

“Since Ellen passed?” JJ guessed. Jacob had changed when his wife passed away, they all knew that, but he’d continued to dote on Joseph and Julia – and had managed to convince Ellen to keep the J-name tradition going – after she’d passed as if they were his only connection with his late wife. “What happened?”

“He was fine for a while, I guess. Ma didn’t think anything of it. But.... he started throwing himself into his job, started leaving Jules and Joe at Ma and Pa’s for longer and longer and longer. Ma doesn’t know what to do.”

JJ considered his words. There were many things that could contribute to something like that and she knew it. Grief was normal, but he had exhibited all of the signs of someone adjusting when she was finishing up her degree and going through the Academy. What had changed? “Do you have a guess?” she asked carefully.

“No. He’s working harder, I guess.”

JJ nodded. “How are the kids taking it?”

“They worry. Jules is a little mother, you know. She tries to look after her Daddy as best she can.”

“She’s what? Ten?”

“Eight. She and Ma spend a lot of time together.”

“The daughter Mom never had.”

Jackson shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Not if Julia isn’t being a kid. She’s eight. She should be... playing with dolls or something. Not looking after her father.”

“Look, Jenn, I’m just warning you, okay? I know you want a break for two weeks, but... a lot has happened since you left for the FBI.”

JJ fixed her eyes on the screen in front of her. “Maybe worrying about someone else is exactly what I need.”


	20. Chapter 20

Penelope had no idea how she’d made it down the stairs to the kitchen. Gabi had been up constantly throughout the night and there was nothing she or Derek seemed to be able to do to calm her down. They’d tried everything, everything they usually did to get their daughter back to sleep and nothing had worked. Penelope, as a result, was totally and completely exhausted. She looked up slowly from the brewing coffee at the crash by the front door to find none other than her Derek stumbling into the living room. From the looks of it, he’s missed the last step. She was too tired to even laugh at him, even crack a joke.

He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning most of his weight on her. She groaned. “Derek...”

“Hmm?”

“You’re squishing me.”

He sighed and took some of his weight back, keeping his arms wrapped around her and kissing her temple. “How many?”

“Hm?”

“How many times was Ellie up last night?”

Penelope sighed. “I have no idea. She’s been like this for days.”

“No, it just feels like days,” he corrected gently. “Mom said she hasn’t been crying like that recently.”

Penelope sighed. “Maybe we should take her to the doctor?”

“You think she’s sick?”

“I think she has a good reason to cry. And those cries weren’t hunger cries or diaper change cries. A mother knows her baby.”

Derek nodded against her head, his chin bumping her hair. She was so much shorter than him when she wasn’t wearing her usual heels. “Do you want to see if she does it again tonight?”

“I don’t know, Derek. We’re exhausted here because we’ve been up with her all night. I haven’t been this tired since before she started sleeping through the night. She was a newborn then, it was a given.”

As if on cue, the baby monitor at Penelope’s elbow started to emit the sounds of their daughter fussing in her crib. Penelope sighed. “She’s awake.”

“But not crying,” Derek replied, unconsciously resting more of his weight against her as he felt himself drifting off. “Thank goodness Em and Hotch are on their honeymoon.”

“Can you imagine doing this if we had to go into work?” Penelope agreed.

“We wouldn’t be allowed in the bullpen,” he murmured against her. “Em would kill us both and threaten Hotch to give us time off.”

“I’m so glad she’s my friend and not my enemy.” The sounds from the baby monitor were getting louder and louder. “I should probably go get her.”

“Probably,” Derek agreed, not unwrapping his arms from her waist or even moving to let her go. He was way too comfortable. He’d missed sleeping beside her because Gabi had had them up so often during the night. He sighed when the phone rang.

“I’ll get Gabi, you get the phone,” Penelope suggested as he let her go.

Derek all but stumbled to the phone. “Hello?”

 

“Derek! Hey!” Emily greeted happily as she swung her pool bag over her shoulder. She and Aaron had spent their first day in Rome simply relaxing by the pool in their hotel. Tomorrow they’d be heading to the coastline to pick up their cruise ship. Emily had been adamant that they get on European time and so she’d been constantly poking and prodding Aaron to keep him awake.

“Hey Em.”

She wrinkled her brow, taking Aaron’s outstretched hand. “You sound like hell.”

“Gabi was up all night.”

“Everything okay?” she asked immediately.

“We don’t know,” Derek replied. “Mom mentioned Gabi’s been so good so we have no idea what’s going on.”

“Are you taking her to the clinic?” Emily asked, exchanging a worried look with her new husband. That thought made her shiver. No matter what was going on at home, she was in Rome, on her honeymoon, with her husband. There was very little that could burst her happy little bubble at this point.

“We haven’t decided yet. How’s Rome?”

“Beautiful,” Emily replied with a dreamy sigh. “I told you we’d get in touch with you guys when we landed, but it was late for you.”

“We were probably up.”

The sound Emily made in response was half regretful, half laughter. “Jayje get off to Pennsylvania okay?”

“She called Pen last night, all safe and sound. Sounded stressed though, apparently.”

Emily nodded even though Derek couldn’t see her. “Okay, well, Aaron’s about to take me out to a gorgeous dinner which means I need to primp.”

Derek laughed slightly on the other end of the phone. “Have a good trip.”

“We’ll e-mail you from the boat. Let me know if something changes okay? And kiss my goddaughter for me. Tell her Aunt Emily says she needs to behave for her Mommy and Daddy.”

“Will do, Em. Have fun.”

Emily looked up at Aaron mischievously. “Oh I plan on it.”

“Too much information, Em.”

“Goodbye Derek.”

Aaron’s eyebrow raised as she hung up. “What was that about?”

Emily smiled as they stepped onto the elevator, moving to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. “Nothing.”

His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her as close against him in the empty elevator as he could. “Gabi’s okay?” His head bent down to press kisses under her ear.

Emily tilted her head back with a soft breath. “Cried all night,” she replied. He felt so good...

“Hmm....” he said against her skin. “And I’m taking you to dinner?”

She shivered at the feeling of his breath on the junction of her neck and shoulder. “A nice dinner. And I’m going to put on a little black dress and fantastic underwear and then we’re going to come back here and you’re going to have your way with me.”

His head came back up to kiss her deeply. “Why do we have to have dinner first?”

She smiled into the kiss as the elevator doors dinged open. “I have no idea.”

 

“Who was on the phone?”

Derek looked up at his mother as she came upstairs from her basement apartment, concern on her face. “Em and Hotch. They made it to Rome okay.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You don’t looks so good sweetheart.”

Derek managed a small smile. “Your granddaughter had Pen and I up almost all night.”

Fran’s face fell quickly into a frown. “Why?”

“We don’t know,” Derek  replied. “Pen just went up to get her.”

The squeaking of the stairs alerted them to the woman descending. She held Gabi against her, rocking her as she walked, shushing her as best she could. “We’ve tried everything,” she said over Gabi’s whimpers. “There was nothing we could do to get her back to sleep.”

“Did she sleep at all?”

“No more than an hour here or there,” Derek answered, dropping to the couch. He opened his arms for his girls when Penelope came around the couch. Gabi immediately snuggled into both of her parents, still whimpering. “She wouldn’t stop crying long enough to tell us what’s wrong.”

Fran took a seat in a nearby chair. “Well, Derek, you had ear infections when you were younger. We couldn’t get you to sleep through the night for almost a week.”

“Ear infections?” Penelope asked worriedly. “You think Gabi’s got an ear infection?”

Fran took a deep breath as she pushed herself up and carefully extracted Gabi from her parents.

“No!” Gabi cried, reaching back for them.

“Honey, it’s just Grandma,” Fran soothed. “What’s going on, huh? What hurts?”

Gabi’s big brown eyes blinked up at her grandmother until one hand reached up to her ear. “Owie.”

“Your ear?” Fran asked to clarify.

Gabi nodded. “Owie.”

“What about this one?” Fran asked, tugging gently on Gabi’s other ear. “Owie?”

Gabi shook her head. “Mama!”

Penelope willingly took her daughter back, cuddling the little girl close, murmuring in her good ear. Derek rested a hand on Gabi’s back, rubbing it up and down.

“Take her to a walk in clinic, sweetie, she’ll be fine,” Fran promised reassuringly. “Who wants breakfast?”

“Mom, you don’t have to-“ Derek started.

“No, but you two were up all night with my beautiful little granddaughter, the least I can do is cook breakfast.”

Derek sighed, cuddling back up with his girls. “Thanks Mom.”

 

Emily stretched languidly against Aaron where they were curled up in their hotel bed. “We missed our dinner.”

He kissed her temple and her forehead. “Are you that concerned?”

“No,” she said with a smirk as her hand dragged up his chest. “But we are going to have to eat sometime.”

“You are a demanding woman,” Aaron said ask he kissed her.

“But you married me.”

“And I’m happy I did,” he agreed. “Demanding and all.”

She chuckled. “Well, your demanding wife is demanding food and before the restaurant downstairs closes too.”

He hummed into her mouth as he answered. “Room service.” His hand moved across her still naked stomach cupping her hip to bring her on top of his body again.

“Aaron...  Baby wants food,” she said between kisses.

“Sure, blame my daughter.”

She laughed as she pushed herself up, deviously ensuring to push her pelvis against his in the process. Her smile grew at his groan. “You’re so sure it’s going to be a girl.”

“I have a boy,” he answered, unmoving as she got out of bed. “I need a girl.”

“You’re the one that determines it, honey,” she told him.

“And I say girl.”

Emily continued to chuckle to herself as she pulled on clothes. “Come on,” she urged, coming to sit on the bed. “Food.”

“On one condition.”

“Oh?” Her left eyebrow went up.

“I can have you for dessert.”

Emily laughed.


	21. Chapter 21

JJ couldn’t help the smile that started over her face when Jackson drove her into the small street that made up the center of her small town. She’d avoided coming back to this place, but it certainly hadn’t been for the atmosphere. She loved the close-knit mentality that had gone along with her childhood. The house hadn’t changed much from when she was a child and JJ felt a strange comfort in that. She got out of the car slowly, glaring at Jackson as he all but forced her up the walk first. Nervous was an understatement. She was afraid it was going to be awkward. She hadn’t been home in years and she’d been through a lot in that time.

She’d almost lost both of her best friends, one to a senseless crime, another to a deputy with a God complex.

She’d been though a relationship that had fallen apart around her ears, was her fault, and she still couldn’t seem to deal with.

She hoped being with her family would help.

“Joseph John Jareau, don’t you dare open that door without me!”

JJ smiled affectionately at her mother’s shrill voice. Nevertheless, she heard the deadbolt turn and her nephew’s blue eyes widened as he pulled open the door just a little bit and recognized who was there.

“Aunty Jenny!”

JJ laughed as he raced forward and buried his head in her stomach. “Didn’t Nana tell you not to open the door?”

“Its just you. I know you.”

“That’s not fair,” Jackson spoke up from behind her. “What am I, chopped liver?”

JJ felt her heart find a home in her throat as she saw her mother come around the corner from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “Jennifer.”

It wasn’t exactly enthusiastic, but there was a smile on her mother’s face, almost like she was relieved to see her. JJ vaguely wondered if Jackson had gotten her mother’s hopes up on whether she’d be able to help Jacob. There was nothing that mattered more to Caitlyn Jareau than her family. “Hi Mom.”

“How are you, dear?”

“I’ve been better,” JJ answered with an affectionate smile.

Caitlyn smiled back, slightly wider. “Come in, come in. Julia’s been baking cookies.”

JJ’s smile widened. “I can smell them.”

Joseph almost bowled them over as he ran back into the house. “Cookies!”

Jackson laughed as he stepped around his sister to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Who are we to stand in the way of cookies?”

 

Penelope sighed as she closed Gabi’s door. Sure enough, when they’d taken Gabi into the clinic, the doctor had prescribed antibiotics for an ear infection. It was now nine o’clock and Gabi was sound asleep. She moved down the stairs to find Derek leaned back on the couch, content and relaxed. He looked up as she came around the arm.

“She asleep?”

Penelope nodded, sighing in relief. She dropped thankfully to the couch cushion Derek patted for her. “Out half way through story time.”

“She’s probably exhausted, being up all last night and all,” Derek said, leaning over and kissing her temple, his hand starting to stroke across her shoulders. Between their jobs, Penelope’s involvement in Emily’s wedding and their adorable little girl, it had been a long time since they’d had time to themselves. They’d been too busy, too tired or accidentally interrupted. All Derek wanted right now was to spend more time with his girl.

“Derek.,” Penelope sighed. “I’m tired.”

He pulled her closer to him. “Beautiful girl...”

He wanted her, she knew it, could feel it in his caresses in the deliberate way his hand was stroking her skin. One of his hand snaked up to cup her cheek and turned her head. She let him, giving into his insistent hands as he tugged her onto his lap.

“I missed you,” he murmured into her mouth as he kissed her.

“I’m always here,” she replied breathlessly as his mouth moved down to drag along the neckline of her shirt.

“We haven’t had time. You deserve time.”

She chuckled, brining his face back to hers. She kissed him thoroughly, but kept his hands from exploring.

“Penelope,” he groaned, trying to fight her.

“Derek.”

He sighed, finally pulling back. “What’s wrong, Sweetness?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she tried to reassure her. “I’m exhausted.”

His hand trailed along her sides over her shirt. “I’ll do all the work,” he proposed, nibbling at her collarbone. “You can just relax...”

It sounded so fantastic and he was so persuasive. Her body was already starting to give in. “Derek...”

He grinned. He had her and he knew it, so his hands lipped under her shirt and quickly discarded it. He fully intended on taking advantage of this time when Gabi was asleep and his mother was happily ensconced in her basement apartment. He wanted her.

And he was going to have her.

 

“There is something wrong with this picture,” Aaron groaned, his head in Emily’s lap. She was basking in the Mediterranean sun, her hand running soothingly through his hair. The sea air, it seemed, had done wonders for her morning sickness. She hadn’t been sick while at sea. He on the other hand, had gotten slammed with horrible cases of sea sickness. It was he who had spent a good majority of that morning close to the bathroom until she’d conviced him to come relax on the balcony. It was where they were now, he willing his stomach to calm while she browsed the morning paper.

“I told you I’d call the kitchen and get them to send up soda crackers and apples. And I’d even let you blame it on me as the pregnant one.” Her hand fell to the bump that was just starting to show.

Aaron groaned.

“It’ll be better once we’ve docked,” she reassured him, her hand returning to his head. She knew it was soothing to his poor and pounding head.

“We’re not set to dock for hours.”

“Honey, let me get the crackers,” she said, closing and folding the paper. “You’re not enjoying this. I’m not enjoying this.”

He let Emily up reluctantly, having been sufficiently guilt tripped. All he wanted was for this to be perfect for Emily, but his body had gone and revolted. Smelling her and having her close had made him feel better. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to keep the crackers down anyway, but if it made her happy to try, he wasn’t going to argue any more. Finally, she returned, willingly allowing his head to drop back into her lap. “I’m sorry.”

She lifted his hand to her lips. “Now you know how I feel.”

“I will never be apathetic to your morning sickness again,” she swore obediently.

Emily laughed. Aaron was the worst patient she’d ever dealt with. She knew it stemmed from his need to take care of others, but that didn’t necessarily make it any less frustrating. “Crackers, apples, ginger ale and out here in the fresh air and you’ll be a new man,” she promised.

His eyes closed. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop it,” she told him gently. “It happens. You’ll be fine to tour with me tomorrow, I don’t mind having a relaxing day taking care of you.  I believe there was something in our vows about sickness and health?”

He slowly and carefully pushed himself up to kiss her. “You are too good to me.”

She chuckled against his mouth. “I don’t mind.”

“I love you.”

The knock interrupted any plans he may have had to make her feel better about his illness. He hated that he couldn’t seem to make this day fun for her. He was sure she had a whole list of things to do while on their cruise. He sighed, hearing her thank whoever was at the door before she returned to the balcony, her arms full. He moved to one of the nearby lounge chairs, separated by a small table.

Emily smiled, taking a seat on the chair he’d chosen. They had spent little to no time apart in these first couple of days of their honeymoon. Neither of them were particularly clingy people, especially since independence had come up as a bone of contention before, but they knew that their time to relax as a newlywed couple was short. Between their work and a baby on the way, they knew their alone time was limited and though they wouldn’t change it. Emily knew they were both taking advantage of it while it existed.


	22. Chapter 22

“Aunty Jenny! Watch me!”

JJ grinned as she watched Julia on the monkey bars in the back yard. She sat with her mother and Jackson as the sun started to set over the houses that backed onto theirs. After cookies, Caitlyn had shooed the children outside to work off some of the sugar in their systems. JJ and Jackson had followed willingly and sat on the stairs with their mother.

“Look at you go!” she called back. Julia swung herself skilfully across the bars and onto the other side, stopping with a massive grin at the end. She clapped along with her mother and brother.

Her mother was fidgeting. JJ knew that sign. Caitlyn was a perfectionist. Dinner would be soon and while JJ had no doubt in her mind her father would be home, she had a feeling, and from what Jackson had implied, that there was a good chance Jacob would not. Julia came bounding over, stopping just short of impacting her knees.

“I want to show Daddy, but he’s always too busy or too tired.”

JJ managed to keep her face a mask, though it started her how well the eight year old had comprehended the situation. And she wasn’t blind to the worry and insecurity the little girl tried to hide behind a smile and childhood innocence. “I’m sure he’d be really proud, his little girl going across the monkey bars like that.”

“Aunty Jenny, come play with me!” Joseph requested, bounding up with a soccer ball in his hands. “Please?”

JJ sighed. “I don’t know, Joey, it’s been a long time since I’ve played.”

“I’m sure it’ll be just like riding a bike, dear,” her mother encouraged with a wavering smile.

JJ wanted to say no, but her mother looked so incredibly anxious that JJ couldn’t find the heart to let the kids see that. “Maybe for a little while.”

So for the next hour and a half, JJ lost herself in her niece and nephew. She missed her mother and Jackson heading in to make dinner. It was her father’s loud booming voice that eventually caught her attention, along with the attention of Julia and Joseph.

“Gramps!” They both took off, racing each other to the back door where her father stood.

Jasper Jareau was still as wide-set as he had been while JJ was growing up. He was big and burly and JJ would be still gave the best bear hugs on the planet. Or at least in the entirety of the state. And he still wore his deputy uniform. She took her time, wandering up the porch steps to where her father was currently smothering Julia in kisses. The little girl was laughing loudly and JJ smiled. Those kids were lucky to have her parents so close by to look after them.

“Jenn, how are you?”

JJ smiled. “I’m good, Dad. How are you?”

“I’m good, sweetheart. It’s good to see you.”

“You’ll have time to catch up later,” Caitlyn scolded from the back door. “Get in here and get washed up. Honey, did you see-“

“No. I didn’t.”

JJ wasn’t stupid. She knew they were referring to Jacob. Their police station was small so JJ had no idea how he could miss his oldest son.

“Well, get in and get cleaned up. And get out of that uniform, Jasper, I hate it when you eat in it.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Jasper said with an affectionate roll of his eyes.

Dinner with Joseph and Julia was a rambunctious affair, though JJ had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t as loud as this one. It seemed like the twins had so much of their lives to fill her in on and they continually tried to talk over each other to get her to listen. JJ tried to ensure that they took turns, but she wasn’t superwoman. Meanwhile, she kept an eye on her parents. Her mother got more and more anxious the later it got and her father watched carefully. She had to admire her parents. It was obvious they really loved each other and they doted on each other.

But now, they were worried. JJ vaguely wondered how long this had been happening. How many nights had her parents put their grandchildren to bed? How many story times had Jacob missed in the last little while? She helped her mother clear the table, following the older woman into the kitchen for trip after trip until all of the dishes were in the kitchen. She started rinsing while her mother prepared ice cream sundaes for Joseph and Julia.

“How long, Mom?” she asked softly, just loud enough to be heard over the running water.

“How long what, dear?”

JJ took a deep breath, aware it was a touchy subject. “How many dinners as Jake missed with his kids?”

The jolt Caitlyn’s arm took told JJ it was longer than she would have liked. “He works hard.”

“We all work hard,” JJ replied carefully. “We always make time for family.”

“Says the daughter who has not been home in six years.”

JJ winced, but took it in stride. She couldn’t do anything to change the past. She changed her strategy. “Julia knows something’s wrong.”

“She’s an intuitive little girl.” Caitlyn stiffened at the sound of the door and the scraping of what JJ assumed to be Julia and Joseph’s chairs.

“Daddy!”

JJ sighed, slamming off the tap and wiping her hands on the nearby dish towel. She followed her mother, leaning against the doorframe that lead from the living room to the kitchen. She played observer as Jacob vaguely hugged his kids and absently kissed his mother on the cheek. She knew the handshakes he gave Jackson and her father were as strong as ever and almost laughed. Then his eyes met his and JJ had to hold in a gasp. She knew that look. She saw it in the mirror some mornings, saw it in the eyes of her FBI family almost routinely. Jacob was haunted and it scared her.

“Jenn.”

“Jake.”

His hug was weak and JJ found herself squeezing just a little bit, trying to give him reassurance she knew she couldn’t. She didn’t always get along well with Jacob, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care and it didn’t mean her heart wasn’t breaking for him. Law enforcement could be a tough job for anyone. It took a lot to see some of the things that came with the territory.

“How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Vacation?”

“My supervisor’s on his honeymoon.”

“Tell him congratulations.”

“Sure. How are you?”

“Hanging in there.” He smiled, but it barely reached his cheeks. JJ knew her brother had adorable dimples when he really smiled. On the bright side, she knew he wasn’t drinking and had to breathe a mental sigh of relief. It meant that he wasn’t completely lost to them. He wondered how much of a role the twins played in that particular decision.

“There’s still dinner. I can warm it up for you if you’d like.”

JJ hadn’t heard her mother that nervous in a long time.

“No thanks, Ma.” He turned with a smile to Julia and Joseph. “Got your stuff?”

The kids scampered off to find bags and toys.

“You’re not going to stay?” JJ asked, “Catch up?”

“Not tonight, Jenn. I’m exhausted.”

He looked it too, though JJ would bet it was nightmares or haunting pictures that kept him that way. Emily had looked like that after her attack. Derek had spent weeks trying to get the bodies of boys in Chicago out of his head. Reid had looked like that as he recovered from his drug addiction.

“I’ll bring the kids by tomorrow,” he said. “On my way to work. It’s good to see you Jenn.”

“You too,” JJ replied vaguely as the twins came pounding down the stairs. She watched as Julia took and clung to her father’s hand as they trooped out the doorway. She joined her parents and brother out on the porch to wave them away. She waited until the tail lights of Jacob’s truck turned the corner before all but making a dash into the house. She’d turned off her cell phone when they’d taken off from DC and had originally vowed not to turn it on until she landed in DC again. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Jenn?” Jackson had followed her, worry all over his face. “I thought you weren’t turning that on.”

JJ ignored him as she hit 3 on her speed dial. “Pen? It’s JJ. I need you to do me a favour. Are you anywhere close to your computer?”

“Computer, Jayje? What’s going on? I thought you were on _vacation_. That means no work.”

“I know. This isn’t work. This is personal.”

“I’m listening.”

“I need you to look up a service record for me.”

“Ooh, espionage in small down Pennsylvania. What’s the name?”

“Jacob Jareau.”


	23. Chapter 23

Derek had taken his mother and his daughter out for a day on the town and he fully expected to be all but jumped by his relaxed Penelope when he returned home. However, they weren’t greeted at the door like he’d expected and she wasn’t in the kitchen or in the living room.

“Mama!” Gabi exclaimed, bouncing in her father’s arms.

“Where do you think she is, Ellie?” Derek asked, dipping her precariously.

Gabi squealed and laughed. She’d fallen asleep in the car on the way back from The Mall and so was wide awake. At least for now. The antibiotics had done fantastic things for her ears and they’d had a much happier baby girl since she’d started on them. He and Penelope had even had time to themselves since Gabi was sleeping through the night.

“Where’s Peneleope?” Fran asked, following him into the kitchen.

“I just asked Ellie the same question.” Derek responded, worry starting to wrinkle his brow. “Penelope!” His heart started to beat a little faster when he didn’t get an answer. He handed Gabi over to his mother so he could take the stairs two at a time. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he found her in the office upstairs. “There you are, Mama.”

She didn’t respond, so he moved forward, trying to make as much noise as possible. She still jumped eight feet in the air when he settled his hands on her shoulders. “Damnit Derek!”

“Baby Girl, I’ve been calling you for the last five minutes. I was getting worried. What are you doing?” He’d noticed the computer screen and recognized case files. “You aren’t working are you?’

“Not really,” she replied. “This isn’t for the Bureau, per se.”

“Pen, we’re on vacation…”

“I know. It’s a favour for Jayje.”

Derek leaned over her shoulder. “Jacob Jareau. Relative?”

“Brother, from what I gathered,” Penelope replied. “She asked me to look into his service record.”

“Why didn’t she just ask him?”

“I didn’t ask.”

The computer dinged and an alert popped up in the bottom left corner. Penelope blew out a sigh and clicked on it. The e-mail popped up, long and wordy.

_Pen,_

_Barcelona was fantastic! We’re back on the ship now and thankfully, Aaron’s discovered that listening to his wife could actually be beneficial. It’s amusing to eat crackers and apples in bed with him before heading out for breakfast. There are a few pictures attached. I’ll show you the rest of them when we get back. Who knew Aaron Hotchner was a shutterbug?_

_Got your e-mail about JJ. I’m glad she landed safely and everything. But what were you saying about her brother? I know there’s a few she didn’t get along with, but are you sure it’s a good idea to help her out? I wouldn’t like just anyone looking into my service record, no matter the good intentions behind it. I’ll e-mail her when I’ve sent this off to you. I promise to keep your name out of it, though I’m sure she’ll know it was you who told me. But you’re right, it must be bad if she’s breaking her incommunicado thing to reach out to you._

_How’s Gabi? Did everything work out okay? You mentioned it was an ear infection, so I’m glad it wasn’t anything more serious._

_Smack Derek for me, kiss Gabi, say hi to Fran and keep me posted._

_Emily_

“Hey!”

Penelope chuckled, glad for the thirty seconds of levity as she swung at Derek’s arm. She’d postponed JJ’s request until the morning. Looking through Jacob Jareau’s service record had reminded her of her job. There was one case he’d worked – the one case Penelope would guess had affected him enough to get JJ up in arms about it all – that had shaken Penelope to the core. When she was finished, she fully intended on curling up with Gabi and a Disney movie to remind her of the things she did have.

“I don’t know if she was serious,” Derek said indignantly.

“Of course she was or she wouldn’t have included it with kissing Gabi and saying hello to your mother,” Penelope replied smartly. “And Em’s always serious when she’s talking about hitting you.”

“Some friend she is.”

“Please. You’d be worried if she wasn’t threatening you.”

Derek chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss to her wild blond curls. She’d pulled them back, probably for cooking, but they were still all over the place. “Coming down soon?”

“I have to call JJ, but soon.”

“I’m going to go stop my mother from cleaning the kitchen.”

Penelope chuckled as she hit the button on her speed dial for JJ’s cell. “Hello Country Girl.”

 

JJ chuckled. “Hey Pen. What did you find?”

“First, I feel I need to inform you that your brother has an exemplary record. There are very few people I know with a better record than his and they are part of our own little family.”

“I think that’s a good thing to know,” JJ replied. She was sitting out on the back porch of her parents’ home to get away from the prying ears of her parents. Jackson had headed back to Philadelphia, leaving JJ with her mother and father. Jasper had just returned home. Julia and Joseph were happily helping to set the table as JJ took her phone call.

“Now, I believe what you’re looking for is a particular case from two years ago.”

“But he threw himself into work earlier than that,” JJ said absently.

“Well, honey, I think our team is enough of an example of a group of people who throw themselves into their jobs for absolutely no reason beyond a need to solve a case. Even the smallest thing can set people off for a while.”

“Ellen’s been dead for five years, Pen.”

“And maybe his adorable little twins were enough for a while, but things can pile up, Jayje. You know it.”

JJ took a deep breath. “Okay, what did you find?”

“Ah yes, this case.”

“Case?”

“Well, as I’m sure you know, serious serial crimes in small towns are pretty rare because, well, everyone knows everyone. Nine months ago there was a massive sexual predator case in your little itty bitty town.”

“What?” Though her job required intimate knowledge of the media, she often deliberately did not read the paper in the morning to ensure she only saw the death in her job.

“See? It’s not all that believable, is it? Turns out someone from your beloved community was assaulting kids.”

JJ felt her spine crawl. Child cases were always the absolute worst. She had seen a number of brutal crime scenes, but nothing disturbed her as much as any case that involved children. “What happened?”

“They found the bodies of three missing kids. Your brother was one of two leads on the case before it was passed over to Deputy Jareau. Which family member is that?”

“My dad. But Dad’s fine.”

“He’s got your Mom, gorgeous. It’s easier to handle these things when you have happiness.”

“You’re going to watch Disney with Gabi tonight, aren’t you?”

“Damn right. I’m supposed to be relaxing.”

“I appreciate this.”

“I bet you do. So this case? They caught the guy, but dead kids, Jayje…”

JJ sighed. “I know, I know. They haunt you. But for two years?”

“Honey, I’ve seen the pictures of these kids and if I was your brother, it would still haunt me too. One of the little boys has a striking resemblance to your nephew.”

“Joey? Why didn’t he tell anyone?”

“Your father worked the case. What is he supposed to say?” Penelope pointed out logically. “Could he look at his kids?”

“He hugged them…” JJ said, trying to remember. She’d been so focused on the haunted look in his eyes that she hadn’t really paid attention to much else. Tension was hard to ignore when it was as bad as it had been in the house the previous night. “So what do I do?”

“I don’t know if there’s anything you can do,” Penelope replied honestly. “I mean, isn’t this something he’s got to figure out for himself?”

“I don’t know. I mean, the kids notice, Pen. Julia’s been taking care of her father according to Jackson. That can’t be healthy for her. She’s eight.”

“Kids are smart. They notice a lot we don’t.”

“Talked to Emily?” JJ hoped Penelope would just take the subject change and let her work things out with Jacob later. He had to know that he couldn’t dwell on child cases. And that was even assuming that it was the case that had him up in arms.

“Just got an e-mail from her this morning. Keep your cell on, she’ll probably give you a call tomorrow.”

“From Europe? Isn’t it easier to just e-mail?”

“When was the last time you checked your e-mail?”

“Good point.”

“She’s worried.”

“You told her?”

“She’s your other best friend.”

“Yeah, on her honeymoon. Her only worry should be sea sickness.”

“Ah, apparently that is our illustrious leader that is down for the count.”

“Hotch gets sea sick?”

“Em hasn’t had any sickness since being on the boat. He was down first day with sea sickness.”

“Oh the irony.”

“I know. Hey, you’re supposed to be on vacation. You shouldn’t be worrying about your brother.”

“But he’s family,” JJ replied with a wry smile. “And I think Jack got Mom’s hopes up that I could say something to smack him upside the head or something.”

“That’s a lot of pressure on you.”

“I don’t know if she has much else to hope for. The look in his face Pen… it’s the same one we get.”

“Small towns aren’t used to big crimes, Jayje.”

“Still.”

“Still nothing. You’re his sister, yes, but it’s not your responsibility.”

“Someone’s got to help. His kids are eight and they’re basically losing their father.”

She could almost hear Penelope rolling her eyes. “I give up. Call me with an update.”

“Thanks for looking that stuff up for me.”

“It’s what family does. Go, bond.”

“Bye Pen.”


	24. Chapter 24

JJ sighed as she pulled up to the small building that housed the police department for East Allegheny. “Vacation my ass,” she muttered to herself as she climbed out of her parents’ car. It was the fourth day in a row Jacob had not been there for dinner and the fourth day he’d essentially whisked his children out the front door with barely a word. Regardless of her vacationing status, JJ hated seeing it. So she’d told her mother she was heading out for a bit, and headed to the police station to check on Jacob.

“Jennifer! What on earth are you doing in our little town?”

JJ smiled politely. She remembered Melissa Brown from her high school days. They’d been at odds since day one and it really didn’t surprise her that it was Melissa sitting in the receptionists chair of the police station. “Visiting home,” she replied.

“Back to here from your big job in the city? Aren’t we blessed.”

JJ heard the slight spite underlying her tone. “Even the FBI gives their agents time off,” JJ replied, hiding the cattiness behind her still polite smile.

“Well, your Pa’s not here. Gone home ‘bout fifteen minutes ago.”

“I’m not here for my dad,” JJ replied, glancing around the small department. “Is Jake around?”

“I haven’t seen him leave,” Melissa replied, making a big production of looking busy.

JJ resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but only barely. “I’ll find him.”

“Good to see you!”

This time, JJ did roll her eyes, though it was because her back was to Melissa when she did it. “Good to see you, yeah right,” she mumbled under her breath as she walked away. She and Melissa had never gotten along. JJ had been a varsity soccer goddess, and Melissa had been the stereotypical head cheerleader. Though JJ hadn’t wanted it, Melissa had felt like they were always competing for the school’s male population. JJ had tried to just roll her eyes and focus on soccer, but Melissa had definitely attempted to make her life difficult.

It was surprisingly easy to find Jacob. He was as burly as their father so he stuck out in crowds. JJ approached and dropped into the chair across from his, probably his partners. Jacob looked up in surprise, his brow wrinkling.

“What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on you,” she said bluntly. She’d considered many different ways to go about this conversation while she’d spent the day with her mother and realized nothing short of bluntness was going to clue Jacob into what he was doing to his family and to his kids. Maybe this was why she’d felt like she had to come home. Fighting with Jacob always reminded her that she had a backbone. “You’ve got the whole family on red alert.”

Jacob rolled his eyes before bending his head over his paperwork again. “They worry too much.”

“Not this time,” JJ replied, crossing her arms as she leaned back. “I think this time they’re onto something.”

“Oh?” Jacob questioned, irritation obvious. “And what makes you such an expert? The fact that you work for the FBI?”

“Try the fact that I work with some of the best behavioural minds in the world. You pick up a few things when they’re your second family,” JJ replied. “You may be able to hide from Mom and Dad, but not me.”

“Baby Jenny to the rescue again,” Jacob said with a roll of his eyes.

JJ mirrored the gesture. “You want to tell me about the child case? Or I should I just guess about the nightmares?”

“I’m not having nightmares.”

“And I’m up for Director of the Bureau,” JJ replied. “I told you, best behavioural minds. You’re not going to fool me, Jacob. I’ve seen that look in my eyes some mornings.”

“You work in public relations. How the hell can you know this look?”

JJ had kept the details of her job out of her mother’s knowledge and, subsequently, out of the minds of the rest of her family. “It’s not a cushy job, Jake. I don’t travel all over the country fixing the mistakes agents made. I travel with one team, all across the country, hunting the worst serial killers and offenders in the country,” she said softly. “Communications Coordinator and Liaison.”

“That means nothing.”

Hostility was something she’d expected. “I pick the cases my team takes. I spend my days looking through case files, looking at crime scene photos. Ever seen someone without a face, Jake? Ever found bits and pieces of bodies in a river? Ever looked at pictures of that stuff?”

“Oh, poor little Jenny, just like it always was.”

“This isn’t about me. This is about you and about how your kids aren’t even sure who you are.”

“Do not make this about my kids.”

“Can you even look at Joey, Jake? When was the last time you read Julia her bedtime story? When was the last time you took them to the park? Julia wants you to see how well she can swing on the monkey bars. Joey’s going to be one hell of a soccer player. He wants you to put him into a league. Did you know that?” JJ snapped. He was the perfect outlet for her own self-loathing.

“I don’t have time to shuffle him back and forth from practice and games.”

“Of course not, because you’ve barely made time for yourself, let alone your eight-year-old twins.”

Sharp footsteps made them both freeze. Melissa was on her way towards them. They’d kept their voices to a low murmur, but JJ wouldn’t be surprised if the sharp tones caught her attention. “Everything okay, Jakey.”

JJ almost threw up. Her brother? Melissa had her heart set on her brother? That was so many versions of ‘ew’.

“Jenn and I are just disagreeing on something. Nothing we haven’t done before,” Jacob replied shortly. “Head home, Melissa.”

Melissa made a show of looking around the department, though JJ would bet a years’ worth of pay that she was very much aware it was just the three of them left in the building. “I can’t leave you by yourself.”

“I’m not leaving until he does,” JJ responded, feeling that thrill of triumph she always used to feel as annoyance flashed through Melissa’s eyes.

“We won’t be long,” Jacob agreed, a snarl underlying his words.

JJ had no problem with that. Jacob’s anger and annoyance wasn’t exactly new to her. And she knew it left Melissa in a corner, with no choice but to leave. She did with a pout, and JJ almost laughed as Jacob fully ignored the extra sway the woman put into her hips. “Priceless.”

“What now?”

“She wants you.”

“And you find that hard to believe?”

JJ arched an eyebrow. “Not at all. You’re a Jareau, we have a reputation. I love how you completely shot her down.”

“That was high school.”

“And you think years away from her would make it any better? Yeah right. Nice to know you have taste. ‘Jakey’ made me shudder.”

Silence fell. JJ changed her point of attack. “Jake, tell me about the case nine months ago. The one with the kids.”

“You work in the FBI, you must have heard about it.”

“It never came across my desk. I make a point to only read the news if I have to. I see enough at work, I don’t need to read about it in the morning paper.”

“What do you want to know?”

JJ could see her brother breaking down. She wondered how long he’d kept all of this hidden. The Jareau boys had been bread not to show emotion, JJ knew that, but this was taking it to the extreme. “Everything.”

Jacob drew in a breath, running a hand through his hair before folding his hands and dropping his pen. “It was brutal, Jenny. The worst I’ve ever seen.”

She reached out, squeezing his hand quickly before withdrawing. “Tell me.”


	25. Chapter 25

Aaron watched Emily’s sparkling eyes with absolute adoration. Away from the office and the drama of Washington, Emily Prentiss – no, Hotchner – was one of the most expressive women he’d ever known. They’d been paired with two other couples for their meals and Emily, as the dynamic and politically-savvy woman she was, had made friends quickly. Much to his surprise, her exuberance and happiness had made it easier for him to talk with the other couples too.

“You never mentioned what you kids do,” Bob Oakland said as he took a bite of his salmon. He and his wife Beverly were on vacation as a celebration for their retirement. Aaron knew Emily found them absolutely adorable.

“We work with the FBI,” Emily answered easily and breezily.

“Oh my!” The other couple was a young one, no older than twenty-five and more starry eyed than he was with Emily. They too were newlyweds. Tammy Dickson-now-Sutherland was originally from Texas. Emily had confided in him after the first dinner that her parents were big in the Texas oil industry. Her new husband, Andrew Sutherland, was, apparently, the absolute love of her life.

“Both of you?” Beverly sounded almost scandalized.

“Yes,” Emily replied, her smile still wide.

“Wow,” Andrew breathed. “Real FBI agents.”

Emily laughed, though Aaron recognized it as the one she used at her mother’s functions instead of the loud almost graceless laugh she let loose when she was really amused. His mind flashed back briefly to the story she’d told him about ‘Brad, the FBI agent’ and he couldn’t stop his own small smile.

“Do you _like_ it?” Tammy asked, a hand over her heart.

“Very much so,” Emily replied, looking over at him, eyes sparkling. “The Bureau certainly makes sure our life is never dull.”

“So you’ve been shot at?” Andrew asked, now obviously star-struck.

“Unfortunately,” Aaron agreed, infusing just a little bit of steel into his voice.

“You look too vibrant to be working such a job,” Bob commented. “You strike me as more the political arena.”

 _Yeah right_ , Aaron thought to himself. He couldn’t think of two people who hated the political more than he and Emily did. Well, with the exception of maybe the rest of the team. Still, they probably took the award there too. He felt Emily take a deep breath beside him and glanced over quickly. A hand had dropped to her baby bump, hidden by the loose fabric of her shirt. She’d worn pants, but her shirt was flowing silk that hid the bump rather effectively. He looked at her face and immediately started rubbing her back. Her face had gone a little green and he looked around to see what had set her off.

“Everything okay, dear?” Beverly asked, noticing Emily’s slightly green tinge.

Her entire body rose and relaxed with her deep breath. “Fine now. Wow…”

“Sea sickness can hit at any time,” Tammy said serious authority in her tone.

Aaron chuckled. That would be the greatest irony. “Everything okay, sweetheart?”

“Fine,” she promised with a smile and a slight pinch on his leg where her other hand had fallen. “Just a moment of vertigo.”

“Maybe your wife spent too much time in the sun,” Bob volunteered, taking another bit of fish. The man was the slowest eater Aaron could ever remember meeting. Or maybe he and Emily were just simply too used to eating quickly to get back to work. They worked too much. He made a mental note to book a weekend off close to her due date for them to go away.

And that stopped his brain. Here he was, on his honeymoon with Emily, and all he could think about was taking more vacation days. It had been a very long time since he’d felt that way and it had never occurred during his time with the BAU. Sure, he’d taken a day off here or there since becoming a BAU agent for Haley, but never had he planned it upwards of a month in advance. Yet here he was, planning a weekend away for five or six months away. He was keeping a running tally on the way Emily had changed him for the better and he had to admit, he’d lost count. There was so many things that were different this time around and while he’d always remember his marriage to Haley – heck, it had given him his boy – he had a feeling being married to Emily was going to be an adventure every day.

“I think that’s our cue,” Aaron said softly, with an apologetic smile.

“I’m fine, Aaron.”

“I’m sure you are, but I’d feel better if you were lying down.”

“Says the man who was sea sick,” he heard her mumble under her breath.

He chuckled. “We’ll see you tomorrow night?”

“We’ll be here,” Beverly nodded with a wide smile. “I hope you feel better, Emily.”

“So do I Mrs. Oakland,” Emily replied politely.

“I’d like to hear stories of the Bureau,” Andrew said gleefully.

Aaron doubted it. “Maybe tomorrow. Come on, Em.” His arm wrapped around her waist as they made their way out of the ship’s restaurant.

“We didn’t have to leave, you know. I really was fine.”

“What happened?”

“Aaron, it was a wave of vertigo. Mr Oakland was probably right, it was probably just too much sun.” There was amusement in her voice and an indulgent smile on her face. “I’ll be fine.”

“Of course you will,” he agreed. “We’re going to go back to our room, I’m going to run you a bath, you’re going to spend an hour in there like you always do…”

They stopped in front of the elevator, Emily reaching out to press the ‘up’ button before turning back to him. “Join me.”

“As you wish.” He kissed her again, revelling in her happy sigh.

“I love you. Have I told you that today?”

“Twice,” he said with a smile.

“Only twice? I’m behind.”

He chuckled into her mouth. “I have a better idea,” he proposed.

“Show you?”

His grin widened as the elevator arrived. “Oh yeah.”

 

Penelope sighed, pulling herself out of bed. Gabi was crying again, and not just the little whimpering she often did when she was just waking up. It was much too early for her to be up anyway. 4am was too early for anyone to be up. She ignored Derek’s unintelligible mumbling as she made her way to Gabi’s nursery. Her baby girl was standing up in her crib, tears pouring down her pudgy cheeks.

“Oh, honey,” Penelope crooned, picking Gabi up and pressing a kiss to her brow. The touch startled her. Her wrist went to Gabi’s forehead. “Sweetie, you are burning up.”

She all but raced back to the room she shared with Derek. “Derek. Derek wake up.”

“Mmm, Pen, what is it?”

“It’s Gabi,” Penelope replied frantically.

“Gabi?”

“She’s burning up, Derek,” Penelope said, stroking Gabi’s hair and back. The little girl was still whimpering in her mother’s arms.

Derek pushed himself up to his elbows. “Did you take her temperature?”

“Not yet,” she replied.

Derek knew she was panicking. Inside he was too. Gabi and Penelope, his two girls, were his life. Gabi sick and Penelope worrying had his stomach in knots. He pulled himself out of bed. The baby thermometer was in the hall closet and he had to keep reminding himself to breath as he waited for the thermometer to do it’s work.

“Derek?”

He sighed, looking at the small device. “It’s high.”

“How high?” Her voice had risen in pitch.

“High,” was all he’d tell her. He reached into the closet for medicine with a sigh. He knew they were in for a long night.


	26. Chapter 26

“Murder in a small town... You just never think it’s going to happen in yours,” Jacob began. “And never with kids.”

JJ knew the feeling as she sat with her eldest brother at his partner’s desk. Melissa had gone home, per Jacob’s orders and it had left the siblings with the entire room to themselves. She’d seen pictures of dead children more than she’d like to admit and she’d seen the faces of small-town Sheriffs when they BAU came to help.

“I’ll never forget those little bodies, Jenn. Finding them at once...”

Regardless of their rocky relationship, JJ reached out for her brother. “Was it serial?”

“Yeah,” he said, swallowing thickly.

“Why didn’t you call in help?” she asked gently. Her brother, she knew, could get defensive quickly and she in no way mean to imply that they couldn’t do their jobs.

“Come on, Jenn. The publicity of solving the case by ourselves was too much.”

JJ didn’t need her acquired profiling skills to hear the anger in her brother’s voice. “Go on.”

“You try and treat it like any other case. You collect evidence, send it to labs, interpret it, try to figure out who did it. Or at least that’s how it works in big cities.”

JJ didn’t like where this was going. Small towns were notorious for policing issues. A crime as simple as a murder or an assault could tear apart a small community. A serial killer that targeted children? It was probably one of the worst of the worst things that could happen to a small town. From the way Jackson was talking, JJ had a feeling that their criminal was a member of the community and, most likely, an upstanding member of the community. That never boded well. “Jake?”

“He said they were all accidents,” Jacob said, voice breaking. “Those kids were _abused_ , Jenn. Their innocence completely shattered. And all he could say was that they were _accidents_.”

“What kind of accidents?” JJ asked, mentally holding her breath. Had this guy taken more than children? Had he killed women too?

“We found the bodies of five women buried in his backyard after we found the kids in the forest. Coroner said the winter had protected the little bodies pretty well and that’s why they’d-“ He swallowed.

“I get it,” she reassured him. It was painful to see him go through this. She’d dealt with a large number of officers in her seven years with the Bureau but none of them had ever been her family. “Jake, who was it?”

“Principal Tahler.”

JJ’s eyes widened. “The guidance councillor?” she asked in shocked reflex.

“He... He did a degree online or something, got his Masters in education. He took over and-“ Jacob swallowed again.

JJ sighed. She knew the rest of the story. Wade Tahler was more than an upstanding member of the community. Many credited him with the recovery of a number of petty criminals in the community. He had a reputation as the parent kids didn’t have when JJ was growing up. She almost wanted to cry at the thought. He’d been one of her references for her college applications. “What happened?”

“They didn’t want it to be him. We looked at everyone but him. Pa kept quiet, you know how he is.”

“But he talked to Mom?”

“He had Ma. She knows that there’s simply some things he can’t tell her and she respects that. Most of the time. She didn’t push him, just... kept him close.”

“But Ellen was gone and Joey looked like one of the kids.”

“He was ‘cleaning the streets’. These women came here for a new quiet life with their kids and they ended up... Why?”

“Who knows. But you’ll kill yourself if you think like that.”

“How do you do it?”

“Lots of strength. Growing up with three brothers wasn’t easy, I learned early on how to take care of myself,” she said, managing to get a slight smile out of her brother. “I don’t. I have friends, I have people I know will respect me at the end of the day, even for the bad cases. And we all have them. Hotch, my boss, reacts to kid cases too. He’s got a little boy and another one on the way. Penelope and Derek have a little girl. Derek hates child molesters or anyone who desecrates the innocence of a child. Sometimes, we’re all hit hard. Some of them... Some of the people we chase... Nothing can prepare you for some of the things people will do and why.”

“That doesn’t help.”

JJ sighed. “Look, Jake, our jobs, they’re not easy. But we both knew what we signed up for when we started working with the department and with the Bureau. Everybody deals differently but this? Mom’s worried. Jack’s worried. Jules just wants her Daddy. And you’d better believe that Joey knows you can’t look at him. How do you think that makes him feel, Jake? He’s eight, he has no idea what you’re going through.”

“It could have been them, Jenn, don’t you get that?”

“Of course I do. I look into the faces of a number of women my age and think it could be me. Sometime or another, we all fit the victim typology. Someone is always in danger. But there are things in our lives that have to mean more. Your kids are one of those things, Jake. Don’t push them out of your life. Be a dad.”

“I’m not sure I remember how.”

JJ smiled. “Of course you do,” she encouraged. “And it starts with you getting out of here at a half-decent time.”

Jacob sighed, looking at his watch. “Damn. Ma’s going to kill me.”

“Nah. She knows I’m here.”

“She does? You told her?”

JJ chuckled. “I didn’t have to. We’re her kids.” She pushed her chair back and stood, wincing. “You have two active kids, you know that? I’m sore.”

Jacob hung his head. “I don’t know that.”

“Hey, there’s still time,” JJ said, moving to lean a hip on his desk. “What better time to start than now?”

Jacob pushed himself up out of the chair, his big body towering over his sisters. He pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank you. I know we-“

“Water under the bridge,” JJ interrupted squeezing back. “Just don’t shut people out. Well, except Melissa. ‘Cause that is so... wrong.”

“Nice to know the high school rivalry is still strong in you,” Jacob teased, relaxing slightly.

JJ grinned up at him. “I’m a Jareau. We can hold our grudges.”

Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they made their way out of the building. “You better than most of us. You inherited more of Mom’s stubbornness.”

JJ rolled her eyes, but refrained from saying anything. She knew that this was only a first step. Jacob’s recovery wasn’t going to happen overnight and it hadn’t really even started yet. And she was leaving. Her parents were going to have to rely on strength to get them through it. JJ hoped they could handle that.


	27. Chapter 27

Emily hadn’t been kidding when she’d told him she had an appointment with her OB/GYN the next day. She’d made the call standing at the luggage carousels and managed to finagle an appointment. An early appointment. Usually, he didn’t mind and it was he who had made her promise to take him to as many appointments as he could attend, but Aaron found it particularly difficult to pull himself out of bed. Emily, on the other hand, had always dealt with time changes well and didn’t seem to be affected by the shift between Europe time and home. She’d woken with the alarm that morning.

Now he sat, trying not to yawn, in a chair by the bed. Emily’s hand was running through his hair and it certainly wasn’t helping to keep him awake.

“Good morning!” Trisha Jase was a petite woman, but always cheerful. She’d been Charlotte’s doctor, then Penelope’s and it had just seemed easiest and simply right that she be Emily’s.

“Morning,” Emily replied with a wide smile.

Trisha arched an eyebrow when Aaron simply grunted. “Long night?”

Emily blushed. “Long flight home,” she answered. “Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.”

“Well, constant fainting spells can’t be good,” Trisha answered, getting straight to work.

Aaron watched Emily worry her lower lip between her teeth. “What is it?”

“You don’t think this has anything to do with the wedding, do you?” she asked carefully.

“You fainting then? Probably not,” Trisha reassured. “That was probably just one in this line. You’ve been eating well?”

“Yes,” Emily said.

Aaron nodded his agreement when Trisha looked his way. The woman knew he was terribly overprotective of the dark-haired woman beside him. Her innate understanding of how well he’d be watching her food intake didn’t surprise him.

“Sleeping?”

“Constantly,” Emily replied. “It’s disconcerting.”

“You’ll probably be back on your regular sleep patterns in about a month,” Trisha reassured. “I’d hope that you’d try for a little more.”

Emily laughed. She’d been in a few of Penelope’s appointments, the women both discussing how odd it was for Penelope to be sleeping long hours as one of two insomniacs on the team. “I’ll try.”

One thing both Emily and Aaron liked about Trisha was though she was talkative and bright, she was quick and efficient. It fit them almost perfectly.

“Well,” the doctor said, “Your blood pressure’s up a little more than I’d like it to be.”

“What does that mean?” Aaron asked with trepidation. While pregnant with Jack, Haley’s blood pressure had been high and she’d been relegated to bed rest.

“We’ll just keep an eye on it for now,” Trisha promised. “Try to reduce your stress levels, okay?”

Emily sighed. This was what she was afraid of. Their job wasn’t exactly conducive to reducing stress. “Specifically?”

“Flying is fine,” Trisha began with a small smile. “But I’d limit the time you’re actually in the field. Make sure you’re resting periodically throughout the day and try to get to sleep as early as possible. Eat small meals, more like snacks, make sure you’re always taking your vitamins and you should be fine. We’ll check in a couple of months and see where you’re at.”

Aaron was almost triumphant. The news from the doctor gave him a perfect excuse to keep Emily in the precinct as often as possible. He could see the trace of annoyance on Emily’s face nevertheless. It was going to be yet another balancing act. He was overprotective, yes, but not suicidal. He didn’t want to keep Emily from doing anything per se, just wanted what was best for her.

“Great.” Sarcasm was obvious in her voice.

He caught her gaze, hoping his relief at having an excuse didn’t show so much in his eyes. The way hers narrowed a little bit told him it wouldn’t be the case. She knew.

Trisha left, allowing Emily time to put herself back together. She swung her feet to the side he was sitting on, facing him. “Don’t look so smug. I’d almost expected this.”

“Really?” That took him a little bit by surprise.

“Of course. Long hours, terrible pictures, nightmares... I’ve always tried to eat right and exercise to keep the pressure down, but it was bound to happen. I’m just glad I’m not stuck on desk duty.”

“Yet.”

“Exactly,” she said, hopping down and taking his hand when he stood.

He relished the feeling of her smaller, elegant hand in his. “Can we move up the time table?”

“No,” she said resolutely. “Unless Trisha says it’s getting worse I’m going to stay up until my seventh or eighth month.”

“But not in the field.”

“Aaron, I’m not a china doll.”

“No,” he agreed, cutting his losses on that particular topic of discussion. His free hand came to rest on her stomach. “But she is.”

“Baby’s got a lot of protection,” Emily tried to argue. “And that’s not including you and Derek and Reid.”

“Reid?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “The kid asks more questions than the rest of you combined, and that’s saying something.”

“I never would have guessed.”

“Look,” she said, turning to face him just down the hall from the office. “No raids, no arrests. Interviews are fine, no interrogations unless absolutely necessary. Canvassing is allowed, talking to witnesses, seeing crime scenes, talking to victims. I won’t stay cooped up in a precinct, Aaron. I won’t.”

The raids, arrests and interrogations were the ones he was most worried about. Sure, danger lurked around every corner, but he wasn’t willing to put her in danger when he didn’t have to. And it seemed like she knew the limits and knew what part of the jobs presented the most danger.

“Well...”

“I was about to agree to that, you know,” he warned her.

“Searching a house for clues is allowed. Or any other place of residence or business.”

“But not the initial raid?”

“Unless absolutely necessary.”

They started walking again, his arm letting go of her hand to wrap around her back. “That felt too easy.”

Emily sighed. “I want this baby, Aaron, almost more than anything. I want to be a mother, and if it means that I have to make sacrifices in my job, I will do it. But-”

“Being an agent is as much of who you are as it is what you do,” he finished for her. In many respects, they were the same person. He knew she lived for her job, much like he did.

“I’ve been reading,” she said. “And I know that there’s more of a risk because I’m older. I _know_ all of this.”

“Okay,” he said, understanding what she was getting at. She’d be careful because their child meant so much to her. She didn’t want to do anything to risk losing the baby and he had to trust in that. “Okay.”

“So we have a deal?”

“We have a deal,” he agreed.

“Good. Let’s go pick up Jack and go for a walk or something.”

“Lunch first,” he told her, his tone brooking no argument.

Emily rolled her eyes. “I just ate breakfast.”

“Lunch first.” She could be stubborn, but he could too.

She rolled her eyes. “You know, you can be a very stressful man to deal with.”


	28. Chapter 28

JJ sighed as she relaxed against the cushions of Jackson’s couch in his apartment, the same couch that would become her bed in a few hours’ time. She loved her parents dearly, but she was independent enough now that they drove her insane sometimes. Her mother hovered, glad to have someone new to fuss over and quite frankly, it was more frustrating than comforting.

“What are we watching?” Jackson asked as he reclined beside her, handing over a massive bowl of popcorn. He had a beer, but there was a bottle of water tucked under his arm he handed over.

“I picked a channel,” she replied, eyes glued to the mindless sitcom as she shovelled a handful of popcorn in her mouth. Silence settled over them for a few minutes.

“Tell me about your guy.”

JJ almost choked. “I’m sorry?”

“You were talking about a guy on the plane, Jenny, don’t think I’ve forgotten. You deserve a good guy, so what happened with this one?”

“Massive misunderstanding.”

“He didn’t understand the job you do.” It wouldn’t be the first time that particular issue had come up. Jackson could remember a few of his sister’s past boyfriends that had used that excuse. JJ folded in on herself when things got tough and it was in large part thanks to the job she did. Privacy, she’d told him once, was a coveted commodity in the profiling world and when you worked with the best, secrets were pretty much impossible to keep.

But JJ sighed. “Not quite. He does the job I do. He does more than the job I do. You’ve already guessed Jackson, you know Spence is a profiler.”

“Spence. Dr Spence Reid. Spencer, I presume?”

JJ hugged the popcorn bowl tight. “Yes.”

Jackson made a humming sound in the back of his throat. “And yet you slept with another guy.”

“I told you, bad decision. Very bad decision.”

Jackson eyed his sister. She may work with the best minds in the world, minds that read behaviour as second nature, but he was her brother. There were signs of her discomfort he knew only he could pick up. “He found out.”

JJ blew out a breath. “The next morning. And yet all he did was sit there and hold me. He knew, I all but told him, and all he did was hold me while I cried.”

“Damn is he hung up on you.”

“He’s got another woman.”

“Right, the one he was with at the reception.”

“Detective Becky Chard of Las Vegas, Nevada.”

Jackson arched an eyebrow. “You look her up?”

“We worked with her on a case before Gabi was born. That’s where they met.”

“And fell in love.”

“I don’t know.”

“Then why so pessimistic?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, if you don’t know if the guy’s in love – which, by the way, I highly doubt – then why agonize about it?”

“You doubt he’s in love with her?”

“A guy doesn’t comfort another woman he’s had a relationship with after sleeping with someone else, Jenn. That’s just not the way we’re hardwired.”

“Spence is different.”

“I’d laugh at that, considering the usual use of that phrase doesn’t apply in our current conversation, but I think that would be counterproductive.”

JJ sighed. “I just... I screwed up with him Jack. I have no idea what I need to do or if I want to do anything.”

“The fact that you’re sitting here agonizing about it tells me that there is something you’d like to do about it,” Jackson replied, reaching over for a handful of her popcorn.

“I can’t put him in that situation again.”

“Nuh uh, we’re not going there. You did something spectacular this week, Jenny. You got Jake to see the light, to see that he still had his life to live. You want big rewards-“

“You’ve got to take big risks, I know. I just don’t know if I can risk this.”

“Look, you’ve come this far. You’ve already tried a relationship with him and went running because you were scared, I get that. But you’re not like that. You go for what you want and you fight until you get it. So how is this any different than those times you fought hard for what you wanted? How is this any different than going into the FBI? How is this any different than doing your job on a day-to-day basis?”

“There are _people_ at stake.”

“Because there aren’t when you do your job?”

“People I care about, Jack. People I care deeply about.”

“And who care deeply about you,” Jackson replied. “You like the guy, right?”

JJ sighed. “I love the guy. If you love something-“

“But you have to work sometimes too. You can’t put it all on his shoulders and just say ‘well, if he wants to try again then, yeah, let’s do it’. You either have to fight for some things or you have to just literally let them go. People don’t always react the way you want them to and if his awkward nature is anything to go by, he’s not going to pursue you.”

“I don’t want to fight for him if he doesn’t want me.”

Jackson rolled his eyes. “He does, you nincompoop.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, for one thing, the guy was watching you as you flitted around that cute little ceremony you put on for your friends.”

“He had his date there.”

“I bet you she totally understands. They’re probably just friends, Jenny.”

“Probably?”

“Well, what can it hurt to see if he wants to try again?” Jackson pointed out.

“Everything. I don’t want to make things awkward between us again.”

“Anymore awkward than they are now?” Jackson pointed out. “You two are making this more complicated than it really has to be, you know that?”

“It _is_ that complicated,” JJ argued.

“Nothing’s ever that complicated.”

“For you maybe. When was the last time you ever dated a girl for longer than a month?”

“That’s not fair,” he said. “I live a different lifestyle than you do.”

JJ snorted. “You’re telling me.”

“Which caters to my point more than yours,” he pointed out. “You’ve got a few days to think about it right?”

“No. My flight leaves tomorrow. I left myself a day to get everything together before I have to be back in the office on Monday.”

“Wow. That doesn’t give you much time to make a decision.”

“No,” JJ agreed with a heavy sigh. “No it doesn’t.”

 

Her conversation with Jackson had kept her up the large majority of her night. She spent it thinking, trying to decipher what she wanted from her life and who she wanted as part of her life. Her friends were great people, she did enjoy her job even if it tore her heartstrings almost on a regular basis, but she did want a chance at a family. It gave her new resolve and so, she strode purposefully up to the desk at the airport, her brain surprisingly clear for the first time since Penelope had announced her pregnancy.

The clerk looked up at her. “Can I help you?”

JJ slid her paperwork across the desk. “I certainly hope so.”

 

Spencer Reid had actually discovered what it meant to relax. He’d lived who knew how long in Virginia and he had seen very few of the sights there were to see. Becky had been adamant that she take full advantage of her week of time she’d taken off for Hotch and Emily’s wedding. He’d allowed her to drag him from monument to monument, museum to museum and had actually soaked it up. Now he stood in Reagan International Airport, having just dropped the woman off. He had to admit, Becky always found ways to make him relax, to take his mind off of things. He’d been very glad to have her at the wedding.

JJ had looked gorgeous and he’d been screaming at himself ever since he saw her walk down the aisle. She wasn’t his anymore, probably never would be. He’d known from the beginning it was too good to be true, but he’d indulged her, followed her and would still follow her off a cliff should it ever come to that. He’d hated seeing her falling apart and wished she’d come to him like she used to. He still loved her, still cared deeply for her and he thought he’d shown her that in Colorado hotel room that he still definitely cared.

He was a glutton for punishment, that’s all he could tell himself. He loved a woman that was too good for him, that didn’t love him back. Wasn’t that the only explanation as to why she’d gone to Agent Rossi? It was the only one his brain could find.

He sighed as his phone beeped, pulling it out and recognizing the number. What he didn’t expect was the accompanying message.

_You, me, Vegas._


	29. Chapter 29

JJ was pacing. She was anxious. Actually, she was downright terrified. She wasn’t an impulsive person and rarely if ever had been. She thought things through, made sure that everything was going to work out in her favour before taking the next step. This, however, was a different story entirely. She had no idea what had come over her, no idea why she’d done what she’d done. All she knew was that she was running on blind hope and faith and had been for the last hour. Her plane had touched down in Reagan and she’d had to hold herself back from immediately booking a new flight. She still had a day of vacation time and she fully intended to make good use of it.

By starting on the first steps to the rest of her life.

“Jenn?”

JJ spun, her hands locking together as she met curious brown eyes. “Hey.”

“That was an urgent text.”

“I know.” She waited a beat. “Why are you here?”

He watched her carefully, noting the nerves but the resolution in her gaze. Maybe, just maybe, he was about to get utterly and endlessly lucky. “Because you asked me to be,” Spencer replied.

JJ’s heart jumped. It meant a lot to her to know that he was here because she’d texted him, that he hadn’t ignored her. “Come to Vegas with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to marry you.”

 

Penelope grinned as she chatted absently with her daughter. Gabi had recovered very well from her fever, though it had been touch and go for a few days. Now they were on their way to visit with Hotch and Emily. Penelope had to admit she was endlessly excited to see one of her best friends again. The e-mails had been nice, but there was nothing like spending time with her girls and her family. And the BAU was her family.

Emily was out on the front porch when they pulled in, watching little Jack play outside with his father. Jack was an active kid, Penelope knew and she grinned as the eight year old tackled his father. Hotch dropped to the ground as Jack made impact. Emily, on the other hand, caught sight of the car first and was all but racing down the stairs as Derek pulled in the drive. Penelope scrambled out of the car and the two women embraced tightly. Eventually, it was Penelope that pulled back.

“You look good.”

“I feel good,” Emily responded with a huge grin. “Vacation was exactly what I needed.”

“We needed,” Penelope agreed as Emily followed her around the car. She stood aside allowing doting godmother unbuckle Gabi from her seat.

“Gabi!”

Penelope’s jaw almost hit the ground at the little voice that called her daughter’s name. Jack had noticed them and was running across the lawn. Gabi looked down at Jack with wide eyes.

“You remember Jack, don’t you Gabi?” Emily cooed.

“Dat,” Gabi repeated. “Dat.”

Jack giggled. “That’s not my name.”

Penelope took Gabi from Emily’s grasp as Derek wrapped her in a hug from behind. She crouched down to Jack’s level, putting Gabi’s feet on the ground, but holding her steady. She’d learned to walk, but that initial impact with the ground always jarred her. “She can’t quite pronounce everything yet,” Penelope tried to explain. “She’s still learning.”

“So she can’t say my name?”

“Not yet, but I bet you if we keep her practicing she will in a bit,” Penelope reassured him.

“Can I play with her?”

Gabi had learned to walk now, and she was just learning to really talk, but Penelope was still pretty protective. She’d turned a year before the wedding. Penelope remembered it fondly. She couldn’t fathom how time had passed so quickly. It seemed like only yesterday she was giving birth to her little daughter. “Sure you can, but you have to be careful, okay? She’s still little.”

“Okay,” Jack replied happily and carefully took Gabi’s little hand in his and started walking into the grass.

Penelope looked up and exchanged a glance with Emily. The latter had tears in her eyes and Penelope smiled. She knew Emily was hoping Jack was like that with his own sister. “I think he’s got a crush.”

Emily laughed, watching Jack toss leaves in the air for Gabi to watch. And the little girl seemed as fixated with him as he was with her. “I think so too.” Then she turned to Fran. “Come on, let’s go inside. Aaron and Derek can watch the kids.”

 

“You want to what?”

JJ blew out a breath. “I want to marry you.”

“Jenn, are you okay?”

“For the first time in a long time, yeah. Well, almost.”

Spencer looked terribly confused. “Almost?”

“Well, you haven’t exactly said ‘yes’...” She laughed awkwardly.

“I just... I don’t...”

“I know it’s sudden, I know it’s fast, but for the first time in a long time I know what I want. I know I screwed up and I know I’m really good at screwing up, especially with you, but I want to start fixing it,” she said, short and to the point. They didn’t have much time left before their holidays were over and JJ wasn’t sure she could get Penelope to help them through this little crunch.

“But... Vegas? A shotgun wedding?”

“I want to marry you and I don’t want to wait.” She grabbed his hand. “It has nothing to do with cold feet, nothing to do with thinking that I’m going to back out and everything to do with the fact that I don’t care how I marry you, I just want to marry you.”

Spencer managed an awkward smile. “I thought I was supposed to be the romantic one.”

JJ’s breath caught. “Is that...”

“Yeah.”

JJ barked out a laugh, pulling him close. She found relief in the familiar way he towered over her small frame.

“This is so backwards,” he whispered, resting his forehead on hers.

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For taking so long. For running you in circles. I tried to let you go.”

“It didn’t work for me either.”

“I was screwed up.”

“You were confused,”

“Don’t make excuses for me.”

“Yes ma’am.”

JJ’s smile was bright. “See? You’re a quick study.”

Then she kissed him.

 

“You know, I can remember Jack when he was that small.”

Derek looked over at his boss and the nostalgic look on his face as they watched Jack and Gabi on the front lawn. The children, though almost seven years between them, seemed to have found some sort of common ground. Jack didn’t seem to mind Gabi’s babbling and seemed to be carrying on a rather interesting conversation with her. Derek had just shaken his head. Leave it to Jack Hotchner to understand what was going on. Derek had infinite respect for the kid’s father’s intelligence and it looked like it was a Hotchner trait.

“He used to babble constantly.”

“Jack? I find that hard to believe,”’ Derek said.

Hotch laughed. “He’s a lot of me, but he’s got parts of Haley too. He’s not as reserved as I am.”

“Your kid with Em’s going to be a rock, you know.”

“I hope not,” Hotch answered seriously. “I don’t want my daughter hiding things from me.”

“You know it’s a girl?”

“Just a gut feeling.”

Derek nodded, turning his eyes back to the children. Sometimes it was still surreal that he could be sitting on Hotch’s front porch, his boss, who was married to his best friend with a baby on the way, their kids playing on the front lawn. Come Monday they’d be back in the office again, chasing down the world’s worst serial killers and putting these happy suburban folks back in their little closets for a time. “They’re why we do it.”

“Always,” Hotch agreed easily. He’d long ago come to terms with the fact that everything he did, he did for his family. It had once been Haley, now it was Emily, it was Jack, it was their unborn child.

“When’s Em’s leave?”

“She’s fighting. We went to the doctor and she’ll probably be riding a desk more than anything.”

“She won’t go for that.”

“She won’t like it. She doesn’t like it.”

“But she understands?”

Hotch shrugged. “We both want this baby to be healthy. She knows that, unfortunately, it means giving up something else she loves for the time being.”

“And we both know Em,” Derek said with a chuckle. “She’ll be back in no time.”

“None of us like it,” Hotch replied, shrugging.

“Nah, but look at it this way: you get a new baby out of it and Em will always be back. She’s as addicted to this job as we all are.”

“Which is what scares me sometimes,” Hotch admitted.

Derek shot a glance at the older man. Was Hotch about to open up to him? Derek knew Hotch talked to Emily and talked to her about almost everything, but for guy stuff, Derek had just assumed Hotch talked guy things with Dave. He wasn’t sure how to feel about his boss talking private with him. “Scares you?”

“She and I.... we’re workaholics. We work all the time.”

“Except when you’re at home,” Derek contradicted. He knew Emily didn’t really tolerate too much working in the home.

“No, even at home,” Hotch replied.

“Oh come on Hotch, you bring work home with you?” Derek knew he was only kidding, but sometimes, outside the office, light-heartedness was something that Hotch needed.

“She does too,” he argued.

“Bringing work home happens, Hotch, but we both know she’s not going to stand for either of you to get too wrapped up in your work. Just because you bring it home sometimes doesn’t mean you have anything to worry about.”

“Daddy!”

Derek’s attention snapped to the kids just in time to see Gabi topple on her back. Jack dropped down beside her worried. Gabi, on the other hand, was simply stunned.

“Daddy!”

“She’s fine, Jack,” Derek called.

“But she fell!”

“You fall all the time and you’re fine,” Hotch said, standing and heading over to the children.

Derek followed slightly behind and noticed a surprisingly mischievous look come over his boss’ face. Then Hotch was moving quickly towards the children, scooping Jack up in his arms. Derek couldn’t help but smile at the happy squeal Jack emitted as his father all but threw the boy into the air. He knew Hotch had nothing to worry about. Emily would ensure that he kept his head on straight and never lost sight of the drive his family gave him. Emily loved him too much to let him fall. 


	30. Chapter 30

Spencer was a chronically nervous person. It came from many, many years of being the smallest and youngest and most awkward in years and years of education and a serious lack of social support. As a result, he was rarely, if ever, impulsive. Yet here he was, on a plane, on his way to his home town of Las Vegas, Nevada with the full intention of a shotgun wedding to none other than Jennifer Jareau.

“You look as nervous as I feel.”

He looked over at her, surprised to find her hands were white-knuckled on the arms of the seat. “Heh. Nervous?”

“Sorry,” she said with a smile. “I know it’s sudden.”

But he’d agreed. For the first time he’d decided to do something impulsive. He loved her, had loved her for a long, long time, had loved her through every struggle she’d been through in the past eighteen months. She’d cried on his shoulder, cuddled into his body the morning after she’d slept with Dave and he still loved her. And now he was going to marry her. His hand covered hers on the arm of the chair.

He heard her sigh as her hand flipped up and her fingers linked with his. “I can’t do economy class,” she revealed with a large sigh.

“You’re claustrophobic?” he asked in surprise.

“Kind of,” JJ replied, her brow wrinkling. “Only on planes.”

“But you fly all the time,” Spencer said in confusion.

“Not economy class, private jet. I’m fine on the jet,” she answered.

“You never told me that,” he said.

“Never came up, never important,” JJ replied, taking a deep breath as the plane began its taxi. “I will never take the jet for granted again.”

It felt easy and normal to pull her hand into his lap. Affection hadn’t always come easy to him when it involved JJ, but it had changed once their first attempt at a relationship had begun. Now it did come easy, even if dealing with the emotion was difficult. “Hey Jenn?”

“I’m terrified,” she answered before he could even put the question into words. “I’m terrified we’re making the wrong decision, that we’re jumping the gun. And I’m scared about investing myself in this because of the last time.”

He blinked. “You got scared and ran.”

She flashed him a brief smile even as her hand tightened on his. “Well, yeah,” she agreed. “But... I know it was irrational. You wouldn’t deliberately hurt me.”

“You ran. From me.” It was an odd concept to think about. He was Spencer Reid, the socially awkward young boy that hid in his intelligence as much as he resented it. It was the age-old argument. She deserved better, someone who was lighter, someone who wasn’t as damaged by a job that had the highest burn-out rate. He was a still-recovering drug addict and there was always that genetic possibility of schizophrenia. And yet, she’d run from him.

“Don’t,” JJ urged. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Spencer asked, unmoving as she lifted the armrest between them.

“Stop analyzing. Here and now, that’s what counts.”

“How optimistic.”

She grinned at him before dropping her head to his shoulder. “I’m turning over a new leaf.”

Spencer smiled, leaning his head to rest against her hair. He liked this new leaf. He liked it a lot.

 

Emily sighed and wrinkled her brow as she clicked off the cordless phone. Penelope, Derek, Fran and Gabi had left only ten minutes prior and Aaron had raced Jack up the stairs for bath time. Emily, meanwhile, had called JJ to check in, make sure she’d gotten home okay. But there was no answer on the blonde’s home phone or her cell. She shook her head. There was no reason to worry yet. It could simply be that her flight was delayed.

She sighed as she wandered through the house to the kitchen where the dinner dishes were still lying around and about on the counters. She’d adamantly refused any help from Penelope or Fran, especially since Gabi had fallen asleep against Jack while they were watching a movie. She shooed them out the door with a smile and assurances that dishes were easy enough to take care of by herself.

She smiled as she started scraping the plates, the food falling into the open garbage. She was probably more relaxed now than she could ever remember being. More than that, she was a different woman than she had ever been. Now she was a wife, a stepmother and a soon-to-be mother herself. She was in a career that she loved, as disturbing as the thought could be, with friends she trusted with more than her life, and a family that she adored. At least most of the time.

If she’d been asked before her attack two and a half years prior, she never would have fathomed the life she had now. And she would never admit to having such clichéd thoughts. She’d always been a firm believer in keeping her work life separate from home and social things. The past tense was the important part of that. She hadn’t expected to find love in her boss. She hadn’t expected to fall in love with a man who could be more private than she was. She hadn’t expected to find the greatest surrogate family in between the mutilated and humiliated.

But she knew she wouldn’t change it for the world. It mean too much to her. She grinned as she felt Aaron’s strong arms wrap around her stomach, resting on her slowly-growing baby bump.

“You could have waited. I would have helped,” Aaron said, releasing her briefly as she slid the last plate into the dishwasher.

“And do what?” Emily replied, laugher in her voice.

“Relax,” Aaron suggested with a smirk, leaning against the counter beside her.

“Honey, I couldn’t be more relaxed on horse tranquilizers,” she quipped, running water in the sink to clean the leftover pots and pans. It was the last thing she planned to do before relaxing with her husband.

“Emily I’m just-“

“Worrying too much,” she interrupted, handing him a dish towel. “Aaron, I really can’t stress myself out at home.”

He reached over to kiss her cheek. “I love you.”

“Because I fight with you? I’m not sure I like that.”

“I have to give a reason to love you?” He put down the towel and the dish he was drying and pulled her into his body.

Emily swiped a finger over his nose, leaving a trail of suds. “Aaron, come on.”

He had no intention of ravishing his wife, especially since the doctor’s diagnosis and knowing he’d had her every night for the previous ten days. The problem was that she was just too difficult to resist. These days, her changing body meant changing curves and though he found absolutely nothing wrong with her non-pregnancy body, there was a much more primal attraction to her pregnancy. There were curves everywhere and the evidence of their child growing just above her belly button.

He stroked the small bump. “We’re going to have to start thinking of names you know.”

“We’ve still got four months,” she said with a smile. “Let’s finish these dishes.”

“We can’t keep putting it off,” Aaron warned. “We bicker enough over the sex of the baby.”

“So you’d rather prolong the bickering over Baby’s name by starting now?”

“Should we start with boys or girls?”

“You’re serious.”

“Of course.”

She sighed. “Both.” She always preferred brainstorming without limits.

“Jason.”

Emily wrinkled her nose. “Too many memories. Sebastian.”

“No.”

“That was blunt. And fast.”

“Henry.”

“Aiden.”

“Lucas.”

“Logan.”

“Jacob.”

“JJ’s brother’s name is Jacob.”

“JJ has a brother?”

“Three. Jacob, Jackson, Johnathan.”

“Your father’s name.”

“Mmhmm, what about Matthew?”

“Isaac.”

Emily sighed. “How are we supposed to think about a girl’s name if we can’t agree on a boy’s? And have you been reading a name book?”

“No,” Aaron chuckled. “Derek and I were talking about it earlier.”

“He and Pen picked out Gabi’s name in the hospital,” Emily pointed out.

“I’m not choosing my child’s name in the hospital,” he replied. “Should we try for girl’s since we’ve kept to boys?”

“Paige.”

“Hannah.”

“Um.... Chloe.”

“Elizabeth.”

Emily glared. “We’re not naming our child after my mother.”

“Janine.”

“Maybe for a middle name.”

“We need to pick something.”

Emily laughed. “Not tonight we don’t, honey,” she reminded him. “We do have time.”

“It’ll race by.”

“Aaron, we won’t be picking our baby’s name in the hospital, but we have time to choose one. I know,” she decided, turning to face him and leaning her hip against the counter. “Let’s make a date out of it.”

“What?”

“You, me, a baby book. We’ll make it a date.”

He settled the last pan on the counter to dry. “A date, huh?”

“Mmhmm,” she smiled, taking the dishtowel from his hands to dry her own. “We haven’t had one of those in a while.”

“We’ve been busy,” he defended. “Wedding plans, honeymoon.... isn’t that a week long date?”

“Are you saying ‘no’ to going on a date with me, Aaron Hotchner.”

“Of course not, sweetheart,” he contradicted, wrapping his arms around her. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

She giggled. “Let’s start with cuddling on the couch. We have to work in twenty-four hours.”

Aaron kissed her temple. “By all means, Mrs Hotchner. Let’s relax.”

“Aaron...” she warned.

He laughed.


	31. Chapter 31

Derek fully expected to be the last one into the office. He fully anticipated seeing JJ chatting with Emily about the latter’s week in Europe with Reid watching avidly. Hotch would be hunched over his desk in his office going over the two or three files JJ would already have for them. But that wasn’t what he saw as he stepped into the BAU bullpen. Reid was nowhere in sight and neither was JJ. It was Penelope leaning on Emily’s desk beside her. Hotch and Rossi were indeed in their offices, though what Hotch was working on Derek had no idea.

“Morning Derek,” Emily greeted cheerfully.

Derek smiled, a full fledged grin. They’d all be run ragged by life two weeks ago. Now though, Emily looked much more relaxed than she had before her wedding and he could actually see the pregnancy glow he’d heard so much about. “Morning ladies. Where’s Reid?”

“And Jayje,” Penelope said, her grin less than innocent. “There a reason they could be missing at the same time?”

“We’re speculating,” Emily said, shaking her head.

“Tried calling?” Derek asked.

Emily nodded. “Tried JJ last night, no answer at home or her cell.”

“Leave a message?”

The brunette nodded. “Nothing in response.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. “I would have figured JJ would want to hear almost every detail of your trip.

Emily and Penelope both shrugged.

“Briefing in ten,” Hotch called from the doorway to his office. “Where’s JJ?”

“Not in yet,” Emily called back over her shoulder. “And no Reid.”

“Call them,” Hotch ordered. “They’ve had two weeks of vacation, they should be back.”

“Yes sir,” Emily said with a smirk, ignoring the look he shot at her as he returned to his office. She dialled the number from memory.

“Hello?”

“Jayje? Where are you? Hotch is looking for you.”

 

“Crap, crap, crap,” JJ chanted as she threw the blankets off her body. She and Spencer had taken the very last flight out of Las Vegas and they’d gotten in late as a result. And, apparently, slept through the alarm. “Spence, get up. We’re so, so, so late.”

His eyes popped open in shock. “Late?”

“Worse than late,” she replied, throwing open her closet. “And you don’t have clothes here.”

“You threw them out?”

She shot him an exasperated look. “All you’ve ever left here are sweats, dear,” she replied sweetly.

Spencer sighed. “I’m going to have to move my things here.”

“Why?”

He froze. “Because we’re married.”

JJ grinned, as her eyes automatically shot to her gold wedding band. “That’s not what I meant,” she said. “Why here? I like your place better.”

He tried not to shake his head at his automatic conclusion. Actually being married to JJ was going to take some getting used to. He was going to have to keep reminding himself that she had indeed chosen him and it wasn’t just a dream anymore. “It won’t take as much effort to move me in here.”

JJ shrugged. “We’ll just get the team to help.” Then she turned back to him, a wrinkle in her nose. “Except Emily.”

“Why?” Spencer asked, immediately concerned. “Is everything okay with the baby?”

“As far as I know,” JJ answered with a reassuring smile. “But you know Hotch....” She stiffened. “Which is exactly why you need to get out of here!” She tossed a pile of clothing into the ensuite bathroom.

With a deep breath, knowing a frazzled JJ was one that wasn’t always wise to mess with, he grasped her hand as she raced by. She squeaked as she toppled into him, knocking them both back on the bed. He cradled her face between his hands and kissed her. “Good morning.”

She smiled. “Good morning.”

“I’ll go put coffee on, you go have a shower, you can drive me by my place, I’ll change and we’ll only be half an hour late,” he proposed, smoothing down her hair.

“What about your shower?” she asked. “I don’t think the team will appreciate it if you stink.”

“I’ll grab a quick shower at home. And you can call Hotch.”

JJ winced. “He’s not going to be happy.”

“I think this is the first time I’ve been late since joining the unit,” he said speculatively. “I think I’ll be forgiven.”

She pushed herself up, making sure to put pressure on his hips and pelvis in the process. Spencer Reid was not an ordinary man, but he was still a man nonetheless and some of his responses were purely masculine in nature. Like, for example, the startled gasp he sucked in at the feeling of her against him. She grinned. “Shower.”

“Coffee.”

She turned back to him at the door. “Hey Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” She watched a smile blossom across his face and realized it was the first time she’d said it since they exchanged vows.

“I love you too.”

 

 “Good morning,” JJ greeted, aiming for cheerful as she stepped into the conference room, still very late. “Sorry I’m late and sorry to throw you right back into things.” She hoped that would deter Hotch from any reprimands

“Everyone can be late,” Hotch replied, folding his hands on the table.

“Once,” she finished for him with an acknowledging smile. She passed Spencer his file and their eyes met. JJ felt her cheeks heat. She cleared her throat as she moved on, avoiding Emily’s eyes as she passed. “Kooksia, Idaho. Nichole Fisher, Darla Moore and Lesley Trescot, three juniors, were found in the same field in the last five months.” Her left hand reached out for the remote lying beside Penelope’s computer.

Penelope’s hand clamped down on her wrist. “Jennifer Elizabeth Jareau, what on earth did you do over the holidays?”

JJ felt her cheeks head again. “Visited my family.”

“And got married!”

JJ winced as she watched Emily’s hand reach out and snag Spencer’s.

“Where did you go?” she asked.

“Um…” JJ began. ‘Vegas?” She noticed Hotch raise an eyebrow. “They’re all sixteen, all from the same high school.” She turned back to the TV, missing the slightly annoyed look Emily shot her husband..

“How small is the town?” Rossi inquired smirking slightly.

JJ felt incredibly off kilter. She knew the information by heart – it was one of the way few case files she’d taken home with her – but she’d been swiftly taken off guard with how quickly Penelope had jumped on her.

“657 people,” Penelope responded. “There abouts.”

“Small town,” Derek said, blowing out a breath.

“Ligature marks on the wrists, small cuts on her thighs…” Rossi read off from the report.

“Our unsub _abused_ these girls,” Emily said, deterred for the time being.

JJ chewed her lip. She wanted to know about the team’s reaction to the shotgun marriage.

“Local cops have a suspect?” Spencer asked.

“Ryan Keri,” JJ replied. “At least the parents think so.”

“Why?” Hotch asked.

“Sexual assault accusations in another small-town high school,” the blond answered, pulling up Ryan Keri’s picture.

“Girl was sixteen,” Derek agreed. “Same typology.”

“He’s been working in that town for six years,” JJ said skeptically. “Wouldn’t it have happened before this?”

“He was accused, but the case never made it to trial,” Emily added. “But if the label fits…”

“Wheels up in an hour,” Hotch said, closing his file. “Let’s make sure our victim count stays at three.” He stood, breaking the debrief. “Oh, and JJ, Reid… Congratulations.”

 

“I want to scream it from the rooftops,” JJ confided in Emily in the cabin of the jet. The two women were seated in the back corner, discussing the blonde’s recent elopement.

“Why not?’ the brunette inquired, her arms folded on the table between them.

“We’re both terrified,” JJ answered, twisting her wedding ring on her finger.

“Why?” Emily asked incredulously. “I’m pretty sure we all knew it was going to happen.”

“But like this?” JJ replied skeptically. “This is…”

“A good thing.”

“I know. I do. I’m happy, Em. I’m glad we did it. I’m glad I asked him.”

“But?”

“Was it too fast? Should we have tried the dating thing first?”

“Should you have had the huge wedding like Aaron and I did?” Emily asked with a smirk. “One thing I learned from that… thing… was that it isn’t about where or when or how. Who matters and why. Who you marry and why you’re marrying them. Why did you marry Reid?”

“Because I love him,” JJ answered immediately. “But I wouldn’t have been able to say it that fast two weeks ago.”

“But you can now,” Emily said, leaning back. “That’s what matters. Doubts are normal, you know that. You’ve seen me through my fair share of Aaron-related issues.”

“We did the right thing?”

“For you,” Emily agreed. “The right thing for you.”

“Good. I wouldn’t change it.”

Emily chuckled. “Trust me, Jayje, none of us want you to.” She let out a huge yawn. “Now, as much as I’ve enjoyed this conversation, I’m going to go cuddle with my husband for the last time in who knows how long. Baby still hasn’t realized I’ve passed the four month mark.”

“She’ll learn,” JJ replied with a grin.

“Why is everyone so fixated on Baby being a girl?”

“Because have you seen Jack with Gabi? If I were you I’d want my baby to be a girl, just to watch Jack get overprotective,” the blond argued.

Emily laughed as she stood. “But I wouldn’t want to be her come her teenaged years. Between Aaron and Jack the poor girl is never going to bring a boy home.”


	32. Chapter 32

Emily rolled her eyes as Aaron handed her a granola bar in the back seat of the local detective’s car. “Do you have a bag of peanuts in your purse too?”

Aaron shot her a glare she ignored.

Emily opened the package, flashing the detective a disarming grin. “What can you tell us about the Truscot family?”

The detective was a portly, balding man, by the name of Steward “Stew” Wilker. He prided himself on his battle scars and his history with the department From the way he’d eyed Emily and JJ, he wasn’t used to women in law enforcement, and definitely not pregnant women working in the field.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, are you sure you should be out here?”

“Detective, much like I tell my husband, I’m pregnant, not invalid,” she said sweetly.

“The Truscot family is a good family,” Stew answered, avoiding her eyes. “Their boy, Jamie, graduated with my oldest.”

“What about their daughter?”

“Good girl. Dated the Farlane boy a year or so back, but that ended amicably. Their families have grown up together.”

“The parents reported her missing within three hours of school letting out,” Emily said.

“We’re a small town, Agent Prentiss,” he said politely. “Parents know their children’s routines. Laura knows that Les doesn’t have cheerleading on Mondays. Les goes straight home from school. Cheerleading takes up most of their lives.”

“Are you close with the Truscot’s Detective?” Aaron inquired.

“My youngest is a cheerleader. Just made the squad with Lesley. When she’s not practising, she’s making sure she can get into college,” the detective answered pulling into the Truscot driveway.

The house was well-kept the gardens still beautiful and in bloom. Emily felt a little like she was walking into an idyllic 1950s sitcom. She felt her hand automatically straying to her bump. She wasn’t going to tell either man, but this kind of idyllic atmosphere and the perfect family picture probably meant the Truscot’s darling girl wasn’t as innocent as they thought.

The woman who answered Stew’s knock was a blond, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she looked tired. Losing a child was never easy.

“Laura, these people are with the FBI.”

“FBI?” the woman asked, her voice surprisingly strong.

“Yes ma’am,” Emily spoke up softly. “We’re here to help find your daughter’s killer. May we come in?”

“Of course, I’m sorry,” she replied, pulling the door wide open.

The men allowed Emily in first and she followed Laura Truscot into her home. Emily’s eyes shot around the hallway. Pictures lined the walls, each of them posed, each positioned perfectly. The flowers were new and fresh, the living room spotless. There wasn’t even a single magazine out the place.

“Mrs Truscot, did your daughter have a boyfriend?” Emily asked, sitting down on the floral couch beside the still-grieving woman.

“Laura, please. Lesley didn’t have time,” Laura replied. “Between pre-AP classes and cheerleading, she barely has time for her family.”

“What about boys in general?” Aaron asked. “Anyone who was always around Lesley?”

“She was a popular girl, Agent...?”

“Hotchner,” he replied. “Was anyone jealous of Lesley?”

“Lesley’s a good girl, Agent Hotchner,” Laura said. “No one hated her. No one would want her hurt.”

Emily met Aaron’s eyes. That was rarely true. And it was unfortunately obvious that _someone_ hated the sixteen-year-old.

“What about Ryan Keri?” Laura inquired. “I don’t understand why you’re here when that man has already been accused of... of... of _taking advantage_ of another girl.”

“We’re trying to make sure we cover everything,” Emily tried to reassure the woman who was becoming obviously upset. She exchanged a look with Aaron. “Ma’am, we’d like to look in your daughter’s room. If Principal Keri is behind this its likely we’ll be able to find something in her room.”

“You think he _gave_ her something?” Laura asked incredulously.

“Its a possibility ma’am,” Aaron agreed.

“Its the third door on the right,” Laura replied standing, She led them up the stairs where the white door to Lesley’s room was still closed, a testament to how fresh the pain still was in the minds of Lesley’s family. The room itself was painted a dark chocolate with white accents, a classy choice for a sixteen-year-old.

“Lessy had a knack for elegance,” Laura said, her tone fond. “She picked all of this out at fourteen.”

Emily stepped over to the dresser, noticing a drawer opened slightly.

“That door’s been jammed for years,” Laura said.

“Did Lesley have a diary?” Emily asked.

“Yes,” the other woman answered, heading straight to the bed and lifting the corner of the mattress. Sure enough, a leather-bound book was wedged between the mattress and the box spring..

Emily smiled her thanks and flipped open the book. “Have you read this, Mrs Truscot?”

“Of course not.”

Emily didn’t need her training to know Laura Truscot was lying. She’d let the other women read her daughter’s diary every day while she was at home by herself.

“Laura? Are you home? There’s a strange car in the driveway.”

“My husband,” she said. “Excuse me.”

Emily was slightly happy with the distraction. She headed back to the dresser, removing the drawer completely from its spot. She grinned.

“What is it?” Aaron asked, watching her reach in and withdraw another leather-bound book.

“My mother, my nanny and Chris used to read my diary. So I wedged my diary behind a drawer in my dresser and told my mother it just got jammed,” she said triumphantly. She flipped open the diary. “Bingo.”

“What?” Aaron inquired stepping closer to read over his shoulder.

“Welcome to the real life of Lesley Truscot,” she responded. “Drinking partying, sneaking out.... boys... she felt suffocated by her parents...”

“Suffocated? We’d never stifle our daughter.”

“Laurence,” Laura set her hand on her husband’s arm.

“Who the hell are you?”

“We’re with the FBI,” Aaron said, automatically stepping in front of Emily protectively. “We’re trying to help Detective Wilker find out who killed your daughter.”

“By snooping around her room? Reading her diary?”

“Your wife has already done that, Mr Truscot,” Emily spoke up quietly. “Or, at least, the one she wanted you to see.”

“What?” Laurence Truscot seemed seriously flummoxed.

“Your daughter kept two diaries,” she answered, stepping out from behind Aaron slightly. “She probably found out someone was reading it and so, started writing two. A parent appropriate one and an actual one, this one.”

“How did you find it?” Laura breathed.

But Emily’s attention was pulled away to something else wedged between the drawers at the back of the dresser. It took her a minute, but she teased it free.

_My Rose,_

_All the world’s a stage_  
And all the men and women merely players:  
They have their exits and their entrances;  
And one man in his time plays many parts.

_This is life’s mantra. There are many of us feel like we’re being forced to do things we do not want to. Still, I need to see you. I need you. Tonight. I can’t wait until Monday. Sneak out tonight. I’ll catch you. I always catch you._

_Romeo_

“My Rose?” Aaron asked softly.

“ _Romeo & Juilet_ reference. Did Lesley love Shakespeare?” Emily inquired.

“When she was a little girl. She keeps all of the books under her bed when her friends came over,” Laura answered, folding her arms across her stomach. “She loved it, but never wanted the other cheerleaders to know. But she’s the only one of them in pre-AP literature so she’d always have an excuse to have a book.”

Aaron’s hand lighted on Emily’s hip slightly. It was enough of an indication to her that it was time to wrap it up and get the diaries and the letter back to Reid. “We’re going to need to take these,” she said gently.

“You can’t take my daughter’s things!” Laurence almost exploded again.

“Sir, they’re important to our investigation,” Aaron replied. “I’m sure the police will return it to you when the investigation is finished.”

Emily carried the diary and the letter securely out oto the car. She wasn’t surprised Lesley Truscot had been hiding from her parents. “He knew she loved Shakespeare.”

“I wonder who else knew,” Aaron replied.

“Whoever our Romeo is, he certainly charmed her,” Emily agreed.

“We’ll have Reid take a look at both,” Aaron agreed.


	33. Chapter 33

“He can get into their heads,” Derek said over dinner that night. “He finds out the little things about them.”

“And exploits them,” Emily agreed, filching a fry off of Aaron’s plate. “He’s attractive, charming, makes the girls feel like they’re the only one he’s focused on.”

“Age is going to be harder to pin down,” Dave agreed. “He could be older, charming them and making them feel like they’re beautiful enough to catch the eye of a younger man.”

“Which would lead us to Ryan Keri,” JJ nodded.

“Exactly. Or he could be their age, popular, attractive...”

“Psychopathic. Sexual sadist from the crime scene photos. Ligature marks, burns, signs of serious sexual assault,” Reid rattled off.

“We’ll have to talk to the principal,” Aaron agreed, glaring at Emily as she stole another fry. She’d all but inhaled her own dinner and though he usually had no problem with her stealing from his plate, he was hungry too. As usual, his wife ignored him.

“He probably has a few practice rounds,” Derek spoke up. “He’s probably raped before, at the very least. Some one knows this guy is creepy.”

“Do you know how many girls are in that school?” JJ asked incredulously. “It’s going to take _forever_ to get through them all.”

“We’re not getting much of a choice,” Derek argued. “There’s someone out there that knows who’s doing this. Or at least knows the type of person that could.”

“We can rule out the seniors,” Emily said, stealing from Derek this time instead. He actually slapped her hand. “Hey! Eating for two here!”

“That excuse isn’t going to fly,” Derek shot back. “Order something else.”

“I don’t want to wait,” Emily pouted.

“Too bad,” Derek replied unsympathetically. “She’s going to have a huge drop off in activity, probably a huge drop off in grades too.”

“Natural, when you go through the trauma of rape. And I’m willing to be that if our guy is as charming as we think he is, no one believed her,” Dave agreed.

JJ and Emily exchanged a glance. Tomorrow, they were headed back to high school.

 

The office of Bozeman High School was well furnished. Or as well furnished as a public school office could be. Emily and JJ approached the secretary behind her desk and she looked up with a smile.

“Good morning. How can I help you?”

“I’m Agent Jareau,” JJ answered. “We spoke on the phone this morning.”

“About interviewing our students, yes, I remember,” the woman answered. “I’m afraid I can’t help you with student records though. I can’t open them.”

“Of course, we understand,” Emily answered with a smile. “We just need to know if there was a student who seemed like she was going through a traumatic time. Her grades would have dropped, school involvement would have completely stopped.... She was probably well-known in the school.”

“Anna-Joy Williams,” came a deep voice. Both agents looked up to see a man somewhere between their ages step into the room. “She was a cheerleader last year in September, worked with student council, the student every school wants. Involved in everything she could be, excellent grades.... Then all of a sudden her straight A’s became C’s and she stopped all of her school involvement. Curled in on herself. One of the guidance councillors brought her to my attention, but there was nothing we could do.”

“You must be Principal Keri,” Emily said after exchanging a look with JJ.

“I am. You’re here about the girls that have died.”

“Yes, sir,” Emily agreed. “Do you think we could talk to Miss Williams?”

“Nora, can you look up her schedule.”

“Are you sure, sir? We can’t-“

“Divulge personal information, I know. Call her down to the office.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

Anna-Joy Williams was a petite young woman. She was thin with honey brown hair and hazel eyes. Emily and JJ sat across from her at the table in the teacher’s lounge. They’d managed to get a hold of Anna-Joy’s mother who was sitting beside her daughter. Principal Keri watched from the corner.

“Anna-Joy, I’m Agent Prentiss, this is Agent Jareau,” Emily introduced them as they took a seat.

Mrs. Williams looked thoroughly spooked. “What is this about?”

“She’s not in any trouble, ma’am,” Emily reassured. “We’d like to talk about what made you pull away from your school activities.”

“No. I will not let you-“

“Mom, it’s okay,” Anna-Joy spoke up softly.

“You wouldn’t even tell the police and now you’re going to tell _strangers_?” Mrs Williams asked scandalized.

The young woman ignored her mother. “It can be hard in a small town to keep things secret. Truth is, I thought he really liked me.”

Emily’s smile was encouraging. “Who?”

“Drew Brooks,” Anna-Joy answered. “He’s popular, hot, you know.”

Both agents nodded.

“It was easy to talk to him. He didn’t seem to care that I was probably the biggest Jane Austen fan in the school. He didn’t make fun of me because I was more interested in chemistry and not the latest fashion trend like most of the cheerleaders. I’m sorry, we have a very stereotypical high school.”

“What happened?” Emily asked gently.

“It started out small,” Anna-Joy replied. “He started spending time with me after practice. I was waiting for my mom to pick me up one day and he came out, sat beside me... it was a short conversation. Then it was waves in the hallway, saying hello. He called me AJ. No one calls me AJ. The cheerleaders thought it wasn’t girlie enough. To them, I was ‘Annie’.” Her hands were twisting in her lap.

“Honey, you don’t have to do this, you don’t have to tell them anything,” Mrs Williams spoke up, putting her hand over her daughter’s.

Anna-Joy ignored her. “We started hanging out more and more. I thought it was happening fast, but he was charming. And every girl wanted him. He made me feel special, like I was the only girl in his world. He came over one night, when I was babysitting my little brother. Kyle’d already been put to bed and he snuck in my window...”

Emily and JJ both knew what came next, but both knew they needed the details. “Then what?”

“We were making out, just like normal,” Anna-Joy replied, tears coming to her eyes. “I don’t know where it came from, I have no idea what he did, but then next thing I remember is my hands tied to my bedpost. He... he...”

“Raped you,” JJ finished for the girl softly.

Anna-Joy nodded. “I told Mom. She wanted me to go to the police, but you don’t know Drew.”

Actually, they had his type down pat. “You blamed yourself?”

“How could I have missed it? How did I not see it?” Anna-Joy agreed. “There has to be signs, right?”

Emily smiled softly at the hope in her eyes. “Honey, you couldn’t have known. Guys like him are good at hiding things like that. Did he pressure you before that night?”

“Once or twice, but he seemed okay with taking it at my pace. I’d never... I hadn’t... He... I was a virgin. I didn’t want to lose it under the football bleachers.” She laughed self-deprecatingly.

“Guys like this don’t have warning signs. They’re charming, they’re manipulative, they know exactly how to get what they want,” JJ said. “You couldn’t have known it was going to happen.”

Anna-Joy nodded and took another deep breath. “I took a month off of school, had someone bring my work every day. My parents... we switched my room with Kyle’s because I couldn’t sleep in there anymore.”

“So what changed?”

“Daddy had me see a therapist,” Anna-Joy admitted.

“What?” Apparently Mrs Williams had not been aware of her husband’s actions.

“Daddy got me a therapist, someone to talk to who was bound by a confidentiality agreement. I wasn’t about to tell Sheriff Bride that I’d been raped by Drew, Mom. He wouldn’t have believed me.”

“Why not?” Emily asked softly, her hand absently going to her stomach. Her baby was never going to have to go through this. She didn’t know how, but she was going to make sure of it.

“The Brooks family is your Stepford family,” Principal Keri spoke up for the first time. “Mother is PTA while working as a dental hygienist. Father is a community activist and works in the mayor’s office. The latest rumour is that he’s looking at the position.”

Emily and JJ exchanged a look. That wasn’t good for their investigation. The Brooks would have lawyers on retainer, if Mr Brooks was indeed looking at the mayor position.

“Can you tell us about Drew?”

Principal Keri took a few steps forward, coming to stand on Anna-Joy’s other side. His hand fell to her shoulder. “Anna-Joy’s right. He’s a good student, exemplary record. His grades could be higher, but he’s still eligible for the football team. He’s our star player, the one all the girls want.”

Emily turned back to Anna-Joy. “He’s easy to talk to?”

“He makes it easy to talk to him. I don’t know what it is about him, but you just feel comfortable. Plus, it was flattering to have his attention. I wasn’t the most popular girl in my year, so I didn’t expect it. It was... It was nice to think I was pretty enough to catch his attention,” Anna-Joy replied.

“Thank you,” Emily said sincerely. “If you think of anything else, call, okay?”

“You think he’s the one killing these girls?” Anna-Joy asked, fear in her eyes.

“It’s a possibility,” Emily replied calmly.

The young woman nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you for talking to us,” JJ spoke up, addressing both the girl and her mother.

Both women nodded before standing to leave, Mrs Williams wrapping an arm around her daughter’s shoulders.

“Anna-Joy?”

The girl turned back. “Yes, Agent Prentiss?”

“It takes a lot of strength to live with that and tell someone else about it,” Emily said.

Anna-Joy smiled and blushed. “Thank you.”

JJ raised an eyebrow at Emily as they folded their notebooks up. “What was that about?”

“The first thing that goes in a rape victim is her confidence in herself,” Emily replied. “At least statistically. And you know most women never report a rape, yet she sat across from us and told us everything she could.”

“We have no evidence. It’s her word against his and you heard how powerful his family is,” JJ replied.

“Ah, but we have a name,” Emily answered with a mischievous smile as they smiled their thanks at Ryan Keri and left.

JJ’s smile crawled across her face as they made their way through the school parking lot to their Tahoe. “And we have Penelope Garcia.”


	34. Chapter 34

“Honey, I’m not a miracle worker.”

“Oh, yes you are, sweetness,” Derek said, smiling at the picture on the computer screen. The team had indeed called in their secret weapon.

“It’s a sealed file,” Penelope protested.

JJ chuckled. “If I’m not mistaken, you’ve done this type of thing before.”

“That was an emergency!”

“And this isn’t?” Derek responded. “Baby girl, there are teenagers at stake. And proves my point. Ellie is not leaving the house as a teenager.”

“If she’s anything like the two of us, my chocolate Adonis, which is more than a likely possibility, there is no way you will be able to keep her in the house.”

Derek, however, was grinning. Even though she’d been speaking, he’d heard the little tapping that meant her fingers were at work. “She’s a Daddy’s Girl, Angel.”

“Okay! Drew Brooks, seventeen years old. Two years ago he was accused of sexually assaulting a classmate.”

“Another one?” Emily asked from the other side of the room. Hotch had all but ordered her into a chair when they’d returned from the interview and she’d rolled her eyes but complied. Her entire mood had changed when he presented her with a package of M&M peanuts.

“There was a first one?” Penelope asked, unsurprised to know the rest of the team was hanging around.

“She didn’t report it,” Emily answered, dropping an M&M into her mouth and slapping Dave’s hand away when he reached for them too. “Her parents didn’t want the stigma.”

“Small towns are good for that,” JJ said, rolling her eyes. “What do you have, Pen?”

“Marissa Envall. They were both fifteen at the time. She accused him of, well, unwanted sexual contact, and reported it. She was a reliable eyewitness, but they settled out of court.”

“Family must have liked that,” Emily muttered.

“Why do you say that?”

“Father works for the mayor,” she replied.

“I always knew politicians were sociopaths, but this is just ridiculous,” Dave said with a smirk. He’d caught on to the team’s necessity for humour in the darkest situations.

“The headlines will be fantastic,” JJ murmured.

“Oh no,” Penelope lamented.

“What is it, Mama?”

“The poor girl killed herself a few months after the court settlement went through,” Penelope answered.

Emily’s hand went to her stomach and from the look on Derek’s face he was thinking the same thing. The heavy hand that fell to her shoulder told her Aaron was always near and always thinking about his family. She had always known nothing matter to him more than his family. She wasn’t a mother yet, still pregnant and still months away from full term, Emily, along with Aaron, would do everything in their power to keep their children from ever experiencing the same thing Marissa Envall had.

“We need to talk to Drew Brooks.” Aaron’s voice was hard.

“We won’t be able to do that without the Brooks calling in a lawyer,” Emily cautioned. “We’re walking into a heck of a political storm.”

“But we have you,” Derek said, shooting his best friend a playful wink.

“Unlike Pen, I am not a miracle worker. My influence has to stay inside FBI protocol,” Emily replied, rolling her eyes.

“We’re going to need a strategy,” Dave interrupted. “We’re going to be fighting lawyers every step of the way.”

“We need to find our primary crime scene,” Derek agreed.

Aaron nodded. “Let’s start with the field the girls were found in.”

 

Aaron was more than a little frustrated with his wife. He respected her as an agent, really he did, but sometimes the way she put the case before herself drove him positively batty. Her OB/GYN had even specifically told her that she needed to relax more, but Emily stood out in the rapidly cooling Idaho air, trying to profile an unsub back to his primary crime scene. She was also adamant about not heading back to the hotel.

While he very much understood her primary motivation and once again admired the dedication she exhibited, he definitely didn’t want her wearing herself down. On this case, she very much couldn’t afford to.

“Emily-“

“Suggest I go back to the hotel one more time, Aaron Hotchner, and I may very well shoot you,” the brunette growled.

“And if I make it an order?”

“Then one of us is sleeping in the guest room when we get home,” she replied, eyes still on the field.

He pondered that for only a split second, mind working quickly. “Dave! Morgan!”

Dave reached him and Emily first, followed by Reid and JJ, who were not far away. Emily looked at him curiously as Derek jogged up.

“Let’s head back to the precinct and get all of the files and head back to the hotel. We can look at the CSU reports to see if they found anything that can lead us to the primary crime scene. There’s nothing more we can do out here.”

\--

Emily shook her head almost in awe. Leave it to her Aaron to be able to find a loophole in her threat. She knew he only had her best interests at heart, but it was barely after 9pm and they had nothing but a past to lead them to even look at Drew Brooks to begin with. They needed something concrete to tie the sixteen-year-old to the crimes. They needed evidence.

“Does this mean we get to have a pyjama party?” JJ asked, tongue-in-cheek.

“Over death and gore, my favourite,” Emily snarked back. “With popcorn and M&Ms.”

“Together?” Dave asked skeptically.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Would you rather I have an odder craving?” she asked.

Dave raised his arms, stepping back. These days no one was ever quite sure what kind of mood Emily would be in. “Popcorn and M&Ms it is.”

 

They’d come up with nothing in their search of everything they’d found. The CSU was still pulling things, still doing analyses. They’d have more information in the morning. Until then, Aaron not only knew Emily wouldn’t go to bed if the rest of the team was working, but that it would be pointless to keep them all up when they couldn’t do anything. So he’d sent the rest of the team to bed while Emily ran herself a bath. It allowed him the chance to go over things, see if he could find a way to decipher how to get at a virtually untouchable suspect without concrete evidence tying him to the crimes.

Vanilla floated out of the bathroom before he saw Emily and he smiled as she made her way to the bed. JJ booked them rooms together and simply justified it by saying she was saving the Bureau money and it made JJ and Emily feel better to room together. He didn’t care what she told the Bureau. All he cared about was being able to curl up beside Emily every night.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Why?”

“Because I can take care of myself and Baby.”

He sighed rolling on his side as she crawled into bed. “I know.”

“Then back off,” she said, her quiet gentle voice belaying the harshness of the request.

“I care,” he said. “It’s hard to turn that off.”

“You managed to before.”

“You weren’t pregnant before,” he reminded her. “It’s hard to turn it off when it’s you and when it’s my daughter.”

“Speaking of, I found a name for Baby if we do have a girl.”

Aaron took that as his cue that while she was frustrated, she wasn’t actually angry with him. He reached out for her, pulling her into him. “Oh?”

“Anna-Joy.”

Aaron wrinkled his brow. “I know the name...”

“Our unsub’s second victim,”: she said quietly.

He wrinkled his nose. “Why?”

“You didn’t see her, Aaron. She’s one strong cookie,” Emily answered, pillowing her head on his chest. They had an unsub to catch, but between Baby, her bath and her husband, she was being lulled into a fantastic sense of calm and security.

“And you want to name our baby girl after her?”

“If we have a daughter, I want her to be strong. I want her to have a name that reminds me of strength. I’ll never forget this girl.”

“Okay,” he agreed after a few minutes of silence. It was obvious that the name held meaning for Emily. “We’ll call our baby girl Anna-Joy.”

“AJ for short,” Emily murmured sleepily.

Aaron smiled, kissing her head. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

She smiled, even as her body relaxed almost completely. “That’s such a good answer.”


	35. Chapter 35

No one expected a breakthrough, but the trace report delivered to the precinct the next morning potentially had done just that. A chemical stain had been found on the edge of Lesley Truscot’s t-shirt, a chemical that wasn’t found in the field the girls were dropped in. A quick call to Penelope told them that it was a chemical often used in pesticides mainly used for larger private lawns. Another quick check and they’d discovered that the distinct mix of chemicals  had been bought by none other than the Brooks family. And they had a shed in their backyard, according to satellite pictures. They’d covered their lawn in pesticide the day before Lesley Truscot had shown up in the field.

“We’re going to need more than that for a solid warrant,” Aaron said with a sigh, Emily’s head on his shoulder. Most of their relationship rules had been thrown out the window because of her pregnancy and the new order to take it easy. Along with her head on his shoulder, she was flipping through Lesley Truscot’s crime scene photos lying in his lap.

Suddenly, she stopped. “Hey honey?”

It sounded a little odd to his ears to hear an endearment slip out of her mouth over death and gore. “Yes dear?”

“How much would you say the Truscot’s make?”

Aaron arched an eyebrow. “Enough.”

“Enough to buy their daughter designer jeans?” Emily asked.

Aaron looked down at the picture and report she was looking at. “Designer?”

“Exclusive designer,” she continued with a nod. “The simplest jeans retail for minimum about a hundred dollars.”

“And those?” he asked, trusting her judgment.

She was pulling out her cell phone. “More than that.”

“Emily, what are you doing?”

“Calling an old college friend,” Emily replied.

Aaron shot her a funny look as she put the phone to her ear. “Hello, I need to speak to Eden Rholes please... Emily Prentiss, and yes, it’s urgent.”

He knew his wife had connections, but this took the cake. “The fashion world?” he asked her softly.

\--

“Mother raised me right,” she quipped back, switching the phone to speaker so he could hear both sides of the conversation.

“ _Emily Prentiss! How on earth have you been girl?_ ”

Eden Rholes had been a housemate of Emily’s during her years at Yale. Emily had worn a number of Eden’s creations over the years, even though the African-American woman hadn’t been at any sort of design school. Eden had hit it big with a line of flirty spring wear by absolute accident. Emily had invited Eden to a fundraiser and it had turned out the dresses Eden had cooked  up for both of them were a huge smash. Emily had fielded a number of calls from her mother’s friends wanting to know whether Eden could design things for various spring teas and luncheons. No one had been more surprised at Eden’s overnight success than Eden herself.

“I’ve been fantastic, Eden,” Emily replied.

“ _What can I do for you? Dressy, casual, super-formal?_ ”

Emily could hear the paper moving in the background. “Denim,” she answered, picking up the picture.

Eden clucked her tongue. “ _Em, you don’t need designer jeans to rock it in denims. You could make Wal-mart jeans look like Paris couture._ ”

Emily laughed. “Not for me. If I sent you a picture, would you be able to tell me if they were custom made or store bought?”

“ _How behind the times are you? I’ve only done three department store lines, and none of them involved denim. I can probably tell you whether it was ordered online or by phone though. Send away._ ”

Emily pushed herself up with a grunt. “You are a godsend.”

“ _I’m a designer. I know my own work,_ ” Eden responded. “ _What’s this for? You want a replica?_ ”

“No,” Emily responded regretfully. “Unfortunately, this isn’t a completely social call.”

“ _Are you still workin’ with the FBI?_ ” Eden inquired. “ _What does a pair of my jeans have to do with the FBI?_ ”

“We found a pair on one of our victims,” Emily admitted. “In Idaho.”

“ _Idaho? Why on earth are you there?_ ”

“I got transferred from St Louis,” Emily replied, setting the phone on the table by her computer.

“ _Where?_ ”

“Behavioural Analysis Unit, Quantico, Virginia. E-mail’s on it’s way.”

“ _Good God, girl, what else have you been up to?_ ”

“Nothing much,” Emily replied nonchalantly. “Married my boss in August and now I’m five months pregnant.”

“ _Shut up!_ ” Eden exclaimed. “ _We are not allowed to lose contact like that again!_ ”

“I sent you an invitation,” Emily said through her amusement. “Got it?”

“ _I do_ ,” Eden answered and Emily heard the mouse clicking. “ _I’ve got your information. Well, narrowed down anyway. I don’t have many clients in Idaho._ ”

“How many names?” Emily asked, turning to Aaron in excitement.

She could hear the smile in Eden’s voice. “ _Two._ ”

“One of those names wouldn’t happen to be Brooks, would it?” Emily asked hopefully, watching Aaron’s eyes ignite with the same fire of excitement. 

“ _I have an order of size 4 custom jeans or Mrs Diane Brooks._ ”

“You sure they’re custom?”

“ _Assuming that your victim didn’t buy a cheap pair and model them after this, than yes._ ”

“Thanks, Eden.”

“ _Anytime. You living in Quantico?”_

“No,” Emily answered. “Outside. Why?”

“ _You call me when this case is done and I’ll take the first flight out from LA to Washington. I want to meet this husband of yours._ ”

Emily arched an eyebrow at the man in question, grinning when he nodded. “You’re on. Thanks again, Eden.”

“ _Sure thing! Ciao Bella!”_

“So you have connections in the fashion world,” Aaron said, coming to stand beside her as she put the video conference request through to Penelope.

“Mmhmm,” she answered. “I, Aaron Hotchner, have connections _everywhere_.”

“So it seems,” he agreed with a smirk. “I wasn’t aware I was marrying such a powerful woman.”

“Get used to hit, honey,” she said, opening a connection with Penelope on the computer. “Pen!”

“Mama-Bear! How are you?”

“Looking for better information than the word of a one-of-a-kind fashion designer,” Emily replied, rolling her eyes but taking the seat her husband pulled out for her.

“I’m listening.”

“Brooks financial records,” Emily requested. “I need you to see if there were any online purchases on a website.”

“I can do that. Am I looking for anything specific?”

Emily bit her lip. “Look for Eden Rholes?”

“The designer? Seriously?”

“Yeah. Lesley Truscot was wearing a pair of her custom jeans.”

“I have been through the Truscot financial records and there is no way they’d be able to afford those custom jeans. I can’t afford those custom jeans.”

Emily wasn’t about to tell her friend she had pairs from back when she was in college and Eden wasn’t even on the map yet. “Tell Derek. Christmas is coming.”

“So it is,” Penelope agreed with a wide smile. “There is a purchase, five months ago.”

“Size 4?” Emily asked, double checking.

“Yes ma’am. I can call and see if I can get the exact design.”

“No worries, Pen,” Emily promised. “I can handle that.” She was already re-dialling Eden’s number. “Thank you.”

“Always Chickie! Call if you need me.”

“Will do.”

She smiled as she disconnected, a smile that her husband mirrored not soon after. “We’re going to need a warrant.

 

“This is ridiculous!” Brendon Brooks was not a happy man as the FBI and local PD turned out his son’s bedroom. “I’m calling my lawyers.”

“You’re going to need them,” Derek said, coming out of Drew Brooks’ room holding a handful of letters. “All written by our victims.”

“My son has nothing to do with this!” Brendon raged. “He would never kill anyone.”

“Hey Agent Morgan? You’re going to want to see this.”

Derek moved back into the room and took the jeans from the LEO’s hand. There was a stain on the back, a stain that would match up exactly with Lesley Truscot’s t-shirt. “And how are you going to explain these?”

\--

“I didn’t kill them,” Drew Brooks said earnestly to Emily and JJ as the women sat in the Brooks’ living room with him and his mother. Dave and Aaron were out in the shed, doing what they could, supervising out there. Emily had opted for the interview, for talking to the seventeen-year-old who was most likely their unsub.

“Did you rape them?” Emily asked quietly.

“No ma’am.”

“My son would never do those things,” Diane Brooks replied.

“Mrs Brooks, are you by chance missing a pair of jeans?”

Diane blinked. “Yes. A custom pair.”

“We found them,” JJ replied.

“You did? Where?”

“On Lesley Truscot’s dead body. And we can prove they’re yours.”

“You see? Eden Rholes jeans are very specific and there aren’t many people in Idaho who order them. And I know for a fact she doesn’t sell in department stores,” Emily said conversationally. “So here’s what we think. You killed Lesley Truscot, Drew. Found out there was a stain that could be traced back to your property as the only home who ordered the distinct pesticide mixture we found on the bottom of her t-shirt, and knew you had to change her clothes before her body could be traced back to your shed.”

“But before that, you raped her repeatedly, slashed her thighs, her stomach. Stabbed her eight times and finally, strangled her,” JJ finished.

“You can’t prove any of that,” Diane spat. “My son is a good boy. He’s a football player, excellent grades... he’s going to Princeton, for goodness sake! There is no way a child like that would kill three girls.”

“Unfortunately, Mrs Brooks, that’s not true,” Dave said, coming in the open back door. “We found these in your shed, and that’s only the beginning.” In his hand was a bloody steak knife. “I’d bet that the blood on this belongs to Lesley Truscot.”

“We’re done here,” Diane spat. “Brendon!”

“He’s calling your lawyers,” Derek said, coming down the stairs, an evidence bag in hand. “These are Lesley Truscot’s jeans.”

“Drew Brooks,” Dave said with a twisted smirk. “You’re under arrest.”

 

Emily and Aaron pulled up in front of the Williams home and Emily took a deep breath. She’d pestered and pestered Aaron until he’d agreed to take her to see Anna-Joy and tell her the news. The brunette climbed out of the car, Aaron following alongside her. Part of her couldn’t believe he’d made such a rookie mistake. But they’d found out quickly he was not only a sexual sadist, but a sociopath with no remorse for what he’d done. The PCL-R he’d have to go through before the trial would prove just how much of a sociopath he truly was.

Emily knocked on the door, hearing a feminine ‘I’ll get it’ from inside. It took the teenager who opened the door a few minutes to recognize her.

“You’re one of the FBI agents I talked to at school.”

“I am,” Emily agreed.

“Annie? Who is it? Oh. Hello, Agent Prentiss.”

“Mrs Williams,” Emily greeted. “We won’t stay long. This is Agent Hotchner.”

Aaron reached out to shake the other woman’s hand. “We have news.”

“News?” Mrs Williams asked. “Agent Prentiss, we just wanted this to go away.”

“We’ve got him,” Emily cut the woman off. “Definitely one count of first degree, maybe more when the rest of the forensic evidence comes in. He’s going to jail.”

Something in Anna-Joy’s eyes shifted as Emily watched. “Good,” she said softly. “I’m just sorry three girls had to die to do it.”

Emily focused on the teen, ignoring her mother as she’d done during their interview at the school. “He’s sick, Anna-Joy,” she began softly. “He has no remorse for what he’s done.”

“A sociopath,” Anna-Joy replied. “I took to crime shows and mysteries after my attack. I’m thinking of going into law.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Emily agreed with a smile.


	36. Chapter 36

“Emily, you need to relax.”

At seven months pregnant, and with Christmas only days away, Aaron had been treated to his wife as he’d never seen her before. Or maybe it was simply that she was pregnant that had him on the edge of his seat while she bought and wrapped more Christmas presents than he’d ever seen before. And she was good. He woke up some mornings to find gifts under the tree for him he’d never seen before.

“I am relaxing,” Emily replied, making quick work of cutting the perfect square of wrapping paper. “Aaron, I’m wrapping presents, no stress involved.”

“Honey, you have tomorrow to do that.”

Emily shot him a short glare. “I cannot. We are having people over tomorrow and this house is a mess.”

“Probably because you’ve wrapped Christmas gifts in every room,” Aaron pointed out, his hand rubbing up and down her back. It was one thing he knew bothered his wife, along with her swollen ankles. Those had actually been the catalyst to her reluctant agreement to work from Quantico at the beginning of her seventh month. She would go on maternity leave at eight, but he knew she’d be going into the office at least three times a week, more when they were away.

“I can’t have you boys seeing everything,” Emily replied, leaning back into her husband’s touch.

He kissed her temple. “You’re spoiling us,” he said, kissing her temple, her cheek, sucking her earlobe into his mouth.

“Aaron... you’re distracting me...”

“Mmhmm... That’s the point.”

“I need to – oh! – finish these. These are the team gifts.”

“I’ll help you wrap them tomorrow,” he taunted, moving behind her and trailing kisses down the column of her neck. He grinned when her hands faltered on the wrapping.  

“Aaron...”

“Emily.” He injected all of the heat he was feeling into her name and grinned when she shivered.

She tilted her head back, accepting his ardent kiss. “You are going to be the death of me.”

 

He would never make that mistake again. As much as he enjoyed making passionate love to his wife, the next day... well, he wasn’t sure it was worth it. He’d woken at seven and his wife was no longer cuddled against him. Quick inventory of the house told him she was back to wrapping. His attempt to coax her back to bed had proven dangerous and so, he’d gone back upstairs to shower. And been interrupted by a stressed and hormonal Emily Hotchner.

A twenty-minute stressful crying bout later, he was trying to juggle his now-awake son – trying to explain what was wrong with Emily to a fearful Jack had been its own challenge – and the end of the gift wrapping. Emily had begun working while simultaneously trying to vacuum, put all of Jack’s toys away and clean the downstairs bathroom. Finally, unable to take watching her any longer and aware there was the distinct possibility he could lose a limb. So he called in the cavalry.

“Merry Christmas!” peppy Penelope Garcia greeted.

Aaron glanced quickly around the guest bedroom hoping Emily wasn’t in the process of trying to hunt him down. “Garcia, we need your help. Well, Emily does.”

“What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?” Penelope asked, immediately concerned.

“She’s running everywhere.”

“While pregnant with high blood pressure? For tonight?” Penelope asked.

“Yes.”

“Why is Mama-Bear not resting?”

Aaron blew out a breath. “She won’t let me do anything and she insists there’s too much to do for her to relax.”

“I’ll be over in forty-five minutes with Derek and Gabi. Make sure she doesn’t kill herself or you in that time,” Penelope ordered.

He could already hear her moving around. “Thank you,” he said, relief and sincerity strong in his voice.

“Always, Boss Man!” she replied happily. “See you soon!”

 

Emily wrinkled her brow as the doorbell rang. Her jaw all but dropped when she pulled open the door. “Pen?”

“Merry Christmas!” the blond exclaimed, wrapping her arms tightly around the brunette as Derek, arms filled with presents, smiled his greeting. Gabi was standing innocently beside him with a small gift bag in her hands.

“You are... very early,” Emily said, confusion lacing her voice, watching as Penelope took some of the presents from Derek.

“I am,” Penelope agreed. “And I brought reinforcements.”

Emily blinked. “Why?” she asked, picking up Gabi, snowsuit and all as the little girl came to stand by her leg.

Penelope pushed the door closed with her hip and followed Derek’s path into the Hotchner living room. “Because you, Mama Bear, are going to kill yourself.”

Suddenly, it started to make sense. “Aaron called you.”

“He did,” Penelope agreed. “He’s worried about you.”

“I’m fine, there’s just so much to do.”

“And you are seven months pregnant with high blood pressure. You need to relax, Em,” Derek finally spoke up, guiding his best friend to the couch.

“You need to spend some time with your goddaughter and step-son, let me and Derek and Hotch handle the cleaning,” Penelope ordered. “And I will take nothing but yes for the answer to that. Go downstairs to the play room and help Gabi bake cookies.”

Emily had sat Gabi on her lap when she’d dropped to the couch cushions and was going about removing the snow-wear from her goddaughter. “Pen, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not. I’m offering, with your husband’s help,” Penelope replied. “And I’m drafting Derek, you cannot turn me down.”

That much was true. “Where’s Fran?”

“JJ and Reid are going to pick her up on their way,” Derek answered. “I wasn’t going to ask her to come now.”

“Guys, really...”

“Em’ly?”

Jack sounded so terrified that Emily felt tears welling in her eyes. “Yes, Jack?”

The eight-year-old climbed carefully up onto the couch beside her. “Can you tell me a story?”

Emily wiped the tears that were leaking from her lashes, smiling at the little girl in her lap.

“A’ Em, kay?”’ Gabi asked in her little voice.

“Yeah,” Emily said, standing and holding out her hand to Jack. “Let’s go up to Daddy and my bed and I’ll tell you two a story.”

 

Hours later, Aaron made his way up the stairs, leaving Penelope and Derek arguing in the living room. He hadn’t heard a peep from Gabi, Jack or Emily since they’d headed upstairs for story time. What he found touched his heart, the same way it had years ago when he’d first come across the sight. Gabi wasn’t around at the time, but the way she and Jack were playing together on the floor of his bedroom while Emily, tucked under Jack’s simple blue comforter – he’d decided he was too old for the cartoon one he’d had, though he continued to sleep on Batman sheets – was fast asleep.

“Hiya Daddy,” Jack greeted.

“Unca A-on,” Gabi smiled, carefully pushing herself up with a hand from Jack and waddling her way to his side.

“Merry Christmas, Miss Gabriella,” Aaron replied, pulling her up into his arms. “Were you a good girl this year? You think Santa will come visit?”

“Sanna!” Gabi agreed, bouncing on Aaron’s hip.

“Em’ly fell asleep,” Jack said solemnly.

Aaron nodded. “I see that. Why don’t we go downstairs and leave her sleep for a little bit longer?” He had no intention of doing that at all. On the contrary, he knew that if Emily didn’t get up soon, waking her would be a rather unpleasant experience. It was on a good day, but if Emily discovered that she’d fallen asleep two hours before guests were set to arrive – his parents and hers among that number – she would probably be back to that stressful state he’d been worried about earlier.

“Okay,” Jack agreed, diligently putting his toys back in their box while his father waited.

Aaron smiled at his son, aware that Emily’s explosions earlier in the day had made him a little afraid of the brunette woman. He’d tried to reassure his son that this wasn’t normal and Emily was just feeling a little stressed, but he wasn’t surprised that Jack made sure to clean up after himself.

After settling the children in front of Rudolph, Gabi’s Christmas movie of choice this year, Aaron made his way back up the steps and into his son’s room. Emily was still sound asleep, one hand over her stomach, the other curled under her head. “Emily, sweetheart, it’s time to wake up.”

“Hmm?”

He perched himself on the edge of the bed, one hand running through her hair as he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. “It’s time to get up.”

“I fell asleep?”

“You did,” he agreed, smiling into the groggy dark eyes that fluttered open. “You know, you are just as beautiful now as the first time you woke up in Jack’s bed.”

“I’m in Jack’s room?”

She seemed so confused that Aaron almost tucked her in again. It was obvious that the stress was getting to her and he was thankful that tomorrow’s Christmas celebrations would only be the two of them. Jack was set to go back to Haley’s while the rest of the team had their own little plans. “You are, sweetheart,” he replied, stroking her hair. “You were probably playing with Gabi and Jack.”

“I was,” she remembered, pushing the blanket off of herself and slowly sitting up.

Aaron helped, knowing it was getting more and more difficult for her to move. Still, he loved her baby-belly and told her almost nightly. “People will be here in an hour.”

“An hour?!”

“Relax, Emily,” he told her, stern but soft. “Everything’s done. The bathroom’s clean, both upstairs and down, we’ve vacuumed almost every room in this house – I’m pretty sure Garcia made Morgan vacuum the living room twice – all of the presents are wrapped and Garcia’s got the turkey in the oven already. The rest is the fixings that I know you wanted to do with JJ here. You just need to make yourself even more beautiful and come downstairs.”

Emily seemed to relax at that, at least a little. “I’m sorry for being so unbearable.”

“You weren’t unbearable, honey.” The look she shot him had him backtracking. “You were stressed. A little bit of yelling isn’t the end of the world.”

“And Jack?”

“Concerned and maybe a little scared, but it’s nothing to worry about, Emily.” He smiled when she sighed and leaned against him.

“As much as I’m enjoying pregnancy-“

“You are?” he interrupted cheekily.

“Do not poke the bear, Mister Hotchner,” she replied, though he saw a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. “I am enjoying pregnancy. Most of it, anyway. Except the hormones, the sore back and the swollen ankles.”

“Mmm, tomorrow,” he began, mouth against the side of her head. “We will have a relaxing bath, a quiet dinner and we will sit down and watch whatever you’d like and I’ll massage those poor sore feet of yours.”

“That sounds fantastic,” Emily replied, leaning up to kiss him.

There was no way he could resist her deepening the kiss, but he was the one who pulled away. “People, Emily,” he reminded her. “I can hold down the fort for another ten minutes while you get changed.” He stood, holding out his hands to her.

“I love you,” she said, as they parted ways in the hall.

“Love you too,” he replied unable to stop the wide smile crossing over his face.


	37. Chapter 37

“Bunny!”

Emily wiped her hands on a nearby dishtowel as her father came into the kitchen, arms open wide. “Merry Christmas Daddy,” she said, pressing a kiss to her father’s cheek before submitting to his hug.

“Merry Christmas, Bunny,” her father replied. “You... are positively glowing.”

Emily beamed. “I feel good.”

“You’re taking it easy?”

Penelope, who refused to let Emily cook by herself and was therefore puttering around the kitchen with the brunette, snorted.

“Emily...”

“I’m fine, Daddy,” Emily tried to reassure him.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow.

Emily knew that look well. “There was a little bit of a stressful few hours,” she finally relented. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Emily Catherine...”

“It’s the truth, sir,” Penelope spoke up. “Hotch called me and Derek and I came over to lend a hand. She even had a nap this afternoon.”

“Bunny, you’ve almost made it,” Jonathan scolded.

“Trust me, Daddy, I know.”

“Then why did Aaron have to call Penelope? You can be so much like your mother.”

Emily flashed her father an innocent grin. “From the way Mother tells it you’re the stubborn one.”

The pregnancy had managed to bond the ambassador and her only daughter. Elizabeth had come through for her daughter with stories of her own pregnancies and it had brought out the seldomly seen compassionate side of the ambassador. Emily had even voluntarily gone to parties at her mother’s and Elizabeth had kept an eagle eye on her daughter. It had warmed Jonathan’s heart.

“Of course your mother would say that,” Jonathan responded.

“Are you going to contradict me, Jonathan? Hello sweetheart.” Elizabeth Prentiss had managed to take everyone in the kitchen by surprise.

Emily stepped up to exchange kisses with her mother. “Merry Christmas, Mother.”

“Merry Christmas darling. Hello Penelope.”

“Ambassador Prentiss,” Penelope greeted.

“Please, it’s Elizabeth,” the ambassador corrected. “Is Gabrielle here, darling?”

“I haven’t seen her,” Emily answered pleasantly. “But Pen and I have been in the kitchen since about four, so I really haven’t seen who is here and who isn’t. Fran is here and I’m sure you saw Chris and Charlotte on your way in.”

“Braden is getting so big,” Elizabeth said, eyes glowing. Emily couldn’t remember the last time her mother looked so young.

“They grow up so fast,” Penelope agreed. “Yesterday Gabi was just starting to crawl and now she’s running around this place.”

JJ bustled in at that moment. “Em, do you have another veggie plate? Gabi and Jack got into this one.”

“Is there dip everywhere?” Penelope asked with trepidation, already wiping her hands.

JJ waved Penelope off. “Derek’s already got Gabi in the bathroom with the diaper bag.”

“Honey, we’re going to need a cloth out here. And my parents have just arrived,” Aaron called just as Jack impacted her legs.

“Gabi made a mess!” he exclaimed.

Emily placed a hand on Jack’s head. “Did she?”

“All over the table,” Jack agreed, nodding vigorously.

“Okay, we’ll make sure we clean it up,” Emily reassured him. “Are you sharing nicely?”

“Daddy and Uncle Chris said Braden’s too little for some of my toys,” Jack replied.

“Emily!”

It surprised the brunette when Jack moved around behind her, hiding from Aaron’s parents. “Gabrielle, Liam.”

“We just _had_ to come over and see how you were doing with our grandbaby,” Gabrielle gushed, pushing past Elizabeth and Jonathan to place both of her hands on Emily’s baby bulge.

“Just fine, Gabrielle,” Emily answered with a tolerant smile.

“Mother, Father, can I get you a drink?” Aaron had followed his parents, having recognized the glint in his mother’s eyes when she’d stepped in the door. “Elizabeth? Jonathan?”

Emily smiled her relief, her hand still stroking through little Jack’s hair. She made a mental note to ask about Jack’s relationship with Aaron’s parents.

“I offered to host this,” Penelope reminded her.

“Aaron and I got out of both Christmas galas for this,” Emily admitted. “Thanks so much for helping.”

“Of course,” Penelope replied, following JJ back into the living room with a wet towel.

Emily turned her attention to her stepson. “How would you like to help me set the table?”

 

“Emily, go sit down,” Aaron requested as he made another pass through the kitchen with another armful of dishes.

“We have to do something with this kitchen, Aaron,” Emily replied from where she was scraping plates.

“Honey, Derek and I can handle things in here. You need to go relax.”

“Aaron, I’m fine.”

But he wasn’t about to listen. He plucked the dishes from her hands, set them in the sink while she spluttered and all but pushed her from the kitchen. “Your father has volunteered to play Santa. Go help Gabi open presents and make sure my son says thank you.”

He only smiled when she glared and watched to make sure she was sitting before going back to the dining room for another load of dishes.

“She’s damned stubborn,” Derek said with a wide smile.

“Some things don’t change,” Aaron agreed. “Getting her to agree to maternity leave after eight months was probably the worst day of my life.”

“Did she agree?”

“After a two hour yelling match,” Aaron admitted. “She’s in Quantico now, maternity leave will start at eight months, so she’ll be home all the time.”

“I’ll let my mom know. Maybe she and Gabi can come visit, give her something to do,” Derek offered.

“She would love that,” Aaron agreed. “She’s going to go stir crazy just sitting around. And I need to ask a favour of you. The nursery. Baby’s not due until late January, but Emily’s birthday comes before that. I was thinking of putting the nursery together for her for her birthday so she doesn’t have to worry about it.”

“Get it done before she goes completely crazy? I’m in.” Derek agreed.

“Emily does not relax well,” Aaron said with a nod.

“She never has.”

Both Derek and Aaron jumped slightly at Jonathan’s voice.

“I figured I should come help before Jack lost all of his patience. He won’t open anything until his daddy is there to watch him,” the older man explained.

“He hasn’t opened anything yet?” Aaron inquired.

“Emily has him and the other two well in hand,” Jonathan reassured.

Aaron and Derek exchanged a glance. “Storytime.”

Jonathan laughed. “She does that too? It was always the best way to distract Emily and Chris when they were children.”

“Jack won’t let anyone else tell stories,” Aaron replied. “He brags to his friends at school about her.”

It was then that Derek gracefully excused himself, leaving son-in-law and father-in-law alone in the kitchen.

“I never got a chance to thank you,” Jonathan began conversationally.

Aaron’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “For what?”

“You’ve given my daughter every happiness a father could ask for,” Jonathan answered. “I worried about her because of how closed off she can be, but Emily is a very loyal and passionate woman. You bring out the vibrancy in her I remember from when she was a little girl.”

“She’s a remarkable woman, Jonathan. She deserves more,” Aaron replied.

“She’s happier with you than I have seen her in many years,” Jonathan replied. “Aaron, you’ve made her a mother. There isn’t a better gift you could give her.”

“Daddy! Grandpa Jon! Hurry up!”

Aaron chuckled. “My son did not get the patient gene.”

“Your son?” Jonathan required with a raised eyebrow. “Or your wife?”

Aaron grinned. It was completely possible that Emily had gotten his son to try and speed up the cleaning process. “Probably both.”

“Well then I’d say we hurry up. I don’t know about your son, but I do know my daughter and Emily impatient was never pretty.”

Aaron glanced around the kitchen. These could wait until his son was busy with whatever presents he was allowed to open tonight. “Then let’s not keep them waiting.”

Jonathan clapped a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “I couldn’t have asked for a better son-in-law.”

He didn’t care if he got anything else for Christmas anymore. His father-in-law’s verbal approval was a pretty good gift.

 

“Can we make a teal?” Emily inquired, her feet in her husband’s lap.

“I’m listening.”

“We never host Christmas when I’m pregnant.”

He outright laughed. “Not seven months,” he agreed. “Stressful day, honey?”

“Probably more for you than for me,” Emily replied, letting out a groan when he hit a particularly tense spot.

“I hated seeing you as strung out as you were,” he replied. “That stressed me out.”

“I’m sorry,” she said on a sigh.

“No, I’m sorry. I should have seen this coming.”

Emily arched an eyebrow at him. “How were you supposed to see this coming?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted with a chuckle. “But you are supposed to be on minimal stress. Today probably didn’t help your blood pressure.”

“I’m going to be on virtual house arrest in a month, Aaron, and you’ve already got me riding a desk at Quantico.”

“With your agreement,” he reminded her.

Emily sighed, pulling her feet away to cuddle against her husband instead. As much as she enjoyed his hands working the tension from her very sore feet, there was nothing better than snuggling with him. “I didn’t really get a choice.”

“Are we about to debate how unfair it is for a woman who wants to have a career and a family?” he asked, easily wrapping his arms around her.

“No,” she said with a laugh. “I always wanted to be a mother.”

“You make a fantastic mother.”

“Aaron, I don’t have a child.”

“A biological child. I’ve seen you with Gabi and Jack, especially Jack. I know.”

She smiled as she kissed him. “I can’t wait for Baby to come into the world,” she said softly, hand rubbing over her stomach.

“Me either,” he agreed. “Our Anna-Joy is going to be as beautiful as her mother.”

“You still haven’t changed your mind? You’re sure it’s a girl?” Emily asked, absently picking up one of his hands and moving it so he could feel their baby kicking.

“We are going to have a little Anna-Joy Hotchner.”

Emily chuckled. “Between you and Jack, AJ will be out of the house before she starts dating.”

“But if she looks anything like you we’ll be beating off boys with sticks. I hope she’s the spitting image of you.”

Emily felt tears welling in her eyes. She brushed them away with a reassuring smile. “Let’s go to bed, Aaron. Your over-excited son is going to wake up ridiculously early and will want to see what Santa brought.”

“I’ll meet you upstairs,” he promised.

She hummed as she kissed him. “Don’t keep Mrs Claus waiting too long, Santa.”

He would never dream of it.


	38. Chapter 38

JJ was ridiculously happy Emily and Hotch had planned their party for Christmas Eve. It was her first Christmas married to Spencer and as much as she adored the team, she felt it was more important to spend time with her husband. And JJ knew he didn’t have too many happy Christmas memories to begin with.

So she’d pulled out all of the stops, from tree hunting and decorating to skiing and skating. Whenever they’d both had a spare moment, JJ had filled it with something to do with the holiday season. She joked with Spencer that he’d be Christmas-ed out by the time the twenty-fifth came around, but he hadn’t batted an eyelash at a single one of JJ’s requests.

As her eyes fluttered open on Christmas day, she wondered if he’d kill her now. It was six in the morning, but JJ’s Christmas spirit had been up for hours. Excitement flooded her veins with adrenaline, so much so that there was no way she was going to get back to sleep. “Spence.”

He shifted, but didn’t wake.

She shook him slightly, her voice a little more insistent, “Spence.”

“Huh?”

JJ giggled. Spencer was usually quick to wake, but over the holidays, he seemed harder and harder to wake. “Wake up.”

“Wha? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she replied, leaning up to kiss him. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he replied. “What time is it?”

“Early,” she replied. “Come on. It’s Christmas.”

“And it will be Christmas for the rest of the day, Jenn. We can sleep for a few more hours.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” JJ whined with a smile. “Christmas only comes once a year.”

“JJ, go back to sleep.”

“No.” She threw the blankets off both of them.

Spencer curled into a little ball. “Jenn!”

But JJ was already up and moving. She ripped open the curtains and gasped. “Spence! Spence, honey, you need to look at this!”

Snow was falling almost in sheets outside of the window and JJ’s eyes opened wide at the beauty of it all. She felt his elegant hands wrap around her waist and threaded her fingers through his. Leaning her body back against him, JJ just stood there, watching the snow and basking in her husband’s arms.

“You’re right,” he finally said. “It is beautiful.”

“Merry Christmas,” she whispered, tilting and turning her head so she could look at him.

He smiled down at her. “Merry Christmas.”

He kissed her.

 

Emily woke alone in bed, something she wasn’t terribly used to, and frowned. The alarm close said it was well past nine on Christmas morning. So where on earth were her boys? She shivered as she got out of bed and pulled the blanket off of the end before wandering down the hall way. Jack’s bedroom was empty which meant they could only be two other places. They weren’t in the living room as she made her way down the stairs, but the smell of bacon assaulted her nostrils. Grimacing slightly – bacon hadn’t been a friend of hers since Baby started controlling what she ate – she made her way to the kitchen, grinning at Jack up on a stool while his father flipped bacon strips on the griddle.

“Merry Christmas,” she greeted softly, watching Aaron’s face light up when he saw her.

“Merry Christmas,” he answered coming over to kiss her soundly.

“Merry Christmas!” Jack exclaimed, sliding down from the stool to come hug her side. “We were going to wake you up when breakfast was done.”

“Presents after breakfast then?” Emily asked, running a hand through Jack’s hair. She wasn’t completely awake yet.

“We had to make an executive decision,” Aaron explained. “I have to take Jack back to Haley-“

“For noon, I know, sweetheart,” Emily said, shaking her head.

He grinned at her over his shoulder. “Of course you do. Jack, why don’t you and Emily go open your stockings?”

“But Daddy! You have to open yours too!”

“I will,” he promised. “I’m just going to put this bacon in the oven, then I’m going to put the first batch of pancakes on and I’ll be right out.”

 

“Good morning, Princess,” Derek greeted his little girl as he walked into her room. Gabi had been gurgling for a little over twenty minutes so finally, he pulled himself out of bed. “It’s Christmas.”

“Sanna!”

He chuckled. “That’s right, Ellie. Santa. Should we go wake up Mama and see what Santa brought you?”

Gabi giggled happily, bouncing against her father’s grip and Derek had to shift her slightly so he could continue to carry her back down the hall to the bedroom he shared with Penelope. Settling his little girl on the bed, he watched her carefully crawl to her mother’s side.

“Mama! Sanna, Mama, Sanna!”

Penelope’s eyes were bleary as she took in her daughter. She turned on her back, pulling Gabi to sit on her stomach. “Yes, ma’am! Did you go see if Santa came last night?”

“Sanna!”

Both parents laughed as Derek reached out to take the bouncing baby girl back into his arms. Penelope pulled herself out of bed, hugging both of them. “Merry Christmas.”

Derek kissed her. “Merry Christmas.”

“Derek? Penelope? Are you two up?”

Derek rolled his eyes as he pulled away from Penelope. “Yeah, Ma! We’re on our way down.”


	39. Chapter 39

“Emily?”

Christmas had segued into January and, true to her word, Emily had been desk-bound when they returned to work after the holidays. It had included being grounded for away cases. So while Aaron had been in Wyoming with the rest of the team, Emily had been in Quantico. Though they talked constantly, it wasn’t the same thing and Aaron knew, once again, the team felt it. New and temporary agents never sat well with a family team like theirs.

“Emily?”

“I’m home,” he heard her call from upstairs.

He took them two at a time after dropping his go-bag at the front door. She’d tell him off for it too, but he had only one goal after two weeks away from his wife. She wasn’t in Jack’s room nor was she in their room. “Emily?”

“In here.”

“What are you doing in here?”

Emily looked up from the floor of what was going to be their baby’s room, surrounded by Styrofoam, cardboard and a half-built change table. “Putting Baby’s room together.”

“Alone? Honey, I thought you were going to take it easy.”

“I’m on the floor, building a change table. Breathe.”

“And how were you planning on getting up when you were done?”

She arched her eyebrow. “Well, now that my fantastic crime-fighting husband is home, I was hoping he could help me up.”

Aaron held out his hands with an affectionate roll of his eyes. “Taking it easy, Emily. This room will be finished for Baby, okay? Trust me.”

“I’m half way through my eighth month. Do you know what that means? That means that, in theory, this baby can come any minute.”

“This room will be done, Em. You need to take care of yourself and AJ. You can’t keep doing this every time I’m not around to tell you otherwise.”

“Quit it. You just got home from a case, do you really want to start the first night home in two weeks bickering over whether or not I can take care of myself and our baby?”

“No,” he replied. “And for the record, this has nothing to do with whether or not you can take care of yourself or Baby.”

She pursed her lips, but the corners of her mouth twitched. “I don’t believe you.”

He kissed her, slowly, happy to be back in her arms once again. Two weeks was too long to be without her. “Let’s not fight about it now.”

“That room has to be done, Aaron,” she said between kisses. “ _Before_ Baby’s birth.”

“Trust me, Emily, that room will be finished, okay? Stop worrying about it. Take it easy, read a book you’ve always wanted to read but never had the time. I will handle this bedroom if you promise to take it easy.”

“You know I can’t promise that,” Emily said, leaning her head back.

He placed a long, hungry kiss on her neck, unsurprised when her fingers dug into his shoulders. “Promise me you’ll take it easy.”

“Aaron… I can’t make that promise to you.”

“Promise me, Emily Hotchner. Promise me you’ll start to take it easy and think of our baby.”

She laughed as he blew a raspberry against her collarbone. “I am always thinking of our baby, Aaron. It’s kind of hard not to think about our baby when I am the size of a whale with swollen ankles. It’s kind of hard not to think of our baby when my bladder becomes a soccer ball.”

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart.”

She rolled her eyes. “Putting together the furniture for Baby’s room isn’t going to overtax me, Aaron. Stop overreacting. I’m not working, I’m desk-bound, I’m doing nothing overtaxing myself.”

“Okay, okay,” he said laughing. “Let’s order in tonight. We’ll watch a Disney movie.”

“Baby’s not here yet. I’m not watching Disney movies until Baby is here. Pick another movie.”

“Better idea,” he said, wrapping his arm around her back. “I’ll choose dinner, you choose the movie and we’ll eat on the couch.”

“You have yourself a deal.”

 

“Remind me again why we’re doing this?” Derek asked as he rolled yellow paint onto one of the walls of the baby’s room.

“Because if we don’t Emily will. I’d rather she not expose herself to the fumes,” Aaron replied. “I came home from Wyoming to find her putting the change table together.”

“I have no idea why that means we have to help,” Derek grumbled.

“Because you promised me at Christmas time that you’d help me make sure this room was done by the time my wife went into labour,” Aaron replied, stepping down from a ladder he’d been on the carefully trace the windowsill with yellow paint.

Derek grumbled. He had. He remembered. “Where are the girls?”

“Do we want to know?” Dave asked. “Three girls wandering Washington.”

“They can’t get far. Emily doesn’t like walking.”

“Ankles,” Derek said at the same time Aaron did. “Penelope was the same way before Gabi was born.

\--

“I hate it,” Emily said, leaning back in the vinyl booth the girls had chosen in the Georgetown Johnny Rocket’s . Emily had started complaining about her feet and walking, so the girls had decided it was time to take a break.

“The bladder,” Penelope asked.

“That too,” Emily agreed. “She uses it like a soccer ball!”

“She?” JJ asked, sipping at her vanilla milkshake. Both women knew Emily had been careful not to ever give away any sort of indication of her baby’s gender.

The brunette sighed. “Don’t tell Aaron?”

Penelope squealed. “How long have you known?”

“Mother’s intuition? About three months. My doctor called about my blood pressure about two months ago. She let it slip.”

JJ arched an eyebrow. “Let it slip?”

“Okay, okay,” Emily sighed. “I asked.”

Penelope squealed again. “I knew you’d give in eventually!”

“Do you have a name picked out?” JJ asked.

“Anna-Joy,” Emily said softly, rubbing a hand over her stomach. “I don’t know about a middle name, or if we’re choosing a middle name.”

“Anna-Joy Hotchner. She’s going to be beautiful, Em.”

Penelope and Emily exchanged a look. JJ sounded almost sad when she said that. “Everything okay, Jayje?”

JJ sighed. “Fine.”

“Honey, you don’t sound fine,” Penelope replied. “You sound sad.”

“Spence and I haven’t talked about kids. You both have a daughter. Or you will,” the media liaison replied. “And your girls are going to be close in age and-“

“We’re not close in age,” Penelope pointed out. “And we’re the best of friends.”

“And if I get my way, AJ won’t be my only child,” Emily agreed.

“Please, Hotch will give you anything you want. And he was always meant to be a father,” Penelope shot back. “And I want another baby. Gabi needs a sibling.”

\--

“I’m just hoping Ellie and her brother or sister are close together,” Derek said, meeting his boss’ eyes over a bottle of beer. They’d painted the baby’s room, leaving the window open to try and air it out. “I just need Penelope to say when.”

“Did you ever think proposing might be a good start?” Dave asked with a raised eyebrow.

Aaron wasn’t paying attention to their bickering. Dave had the uncanny ability to get on Derek’s nerves without really trying. Reid, on the other hand, had been suspiciously quiet all day. “Reid?”

The genius jumped. “Sorry, what were we talking about?”

“Whether Morgan should propose to Garcia. You okay, kid?”

“Fine.”

But Derek had caught on now, like Aaron had been hoping.  “That’s not a ‘fine’ face, man. What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

“JJ wants a baby.”

“Well, of course she does,” Dave said, rolling his eyes.

Aaron sent the older man a glare. Reid and Dave had never found an even keel because of everything that had happened with JJ. Reid hadn’t forgiven him for sleeping with JJ to begin with and Dave didn’t much appreciate the pain JJ had gone through to get to the point she was. Aaron wondered if part of it was jealousy too, but he’d never bring it up.

“I just don’t know,” Reid said. “I mean, what about schizophrenia?”

“You’d know the statistics on that better than we would, man. And you don’t have it, remember,” Derek pointed out calmly. “And JJ was always meant to be a mother.”

“There’s still a chance,” Reid replied, looking at his folded hands. “Five percent is still a chance. And kids hate me.”

\--

“Yeah, but there’s no guarantee his own won’t,” Emily said optimistically. “I think, Jayje, if you really wanted to, you could convince him. And you have time.”

“She makes a good point,” Penelope agreed.  “It’s not like you have to be pregnant tomorrow or you miss the bus. You’re young.”

JJ sighed. “Still… It’s difficult to talk about with him. The schizophrenia, the Reid Effect…”

“But you love him,” Penelope said. “And he loves you. I really think you’re over reacting.”

“Which, we’re all good at doing,” Emily agreed.

Though JJ agreed with Emily’s assessment of the team, she wasn’t so sure. Spencer, she knew, was more than apprehensive about the thought of children. He didn’t do well with children. But JJ had always known she wanted to be a mother some day. She would be a mother some day. She just wasn’t sure how it was all going to work out.

And whether Spencer would agree.


	40. Chapter 40

Emily been uncomfortable all day and Derek had noticed. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she smoothed a hand over her stomach, her features twisted in pain and heard when she pushed a breath out slowly. Derek finally looked up, glancing over at her before meeting Reid’s concerned gaze.

“Hey Em?”

“Yeah Derek?”

“Everything okay?” he asked, again exchanging a look with the boy genius. Meanwhile, he opened an instant chat window with the love of his life.

_Hey Mama. I think you’re needed in the bullpen._

“Fine,” Emily replied with a tight smile.

“You don’t look okay,” Reid spoke up worriedly.

_And why is that Gorgeous?_

“I’m fine,” she promised the younger agent. “Baby’s just really active today?”

 _Because I think Emily’s going into labour_.

Derek knew that would have Penelope out of her bunker and on her way to the bullpen as fast as her designer-clad feet would carry her. If anyone could convince Emily she was in labour, it would be Penelope. “You sure, Em?”

“Of course I’m sure,” the brunette replied. “What else would it be?”

Penelope bustled in then, making a beeling for Emily’s desk with enough time to hear Emily’s last words. “Labour?”

Derek watched Emily’s eyes widen. “No. I can’t be in labour! I’m not due until next week!”

“Honey, you don’t really get to make that choice,” Penelope said, locking eyes with him and flicking her head out of the bullpen. “How often have you been feeling it?”

He stood, knowing Emily was in good hands and understanding Penelope’s unspoken request. Find Hotch. Because if Penelope was right and since Gabi had been brought into the world by the formidable blond, Derek trusted her judgment. Hotch had been called into a meeting with Dave twenty minutes earlier about the agent set to replace Emily for her maternity leave. Which meant there was really only one place they could be.

He burst into Section Chief Strauss’ office without knocking. “Hotch, sorry to interrupt, you’re needed in the bullpen.”

Hotch stood immediately, reaching Derek in five quick steps. “Is everything okay?” he asked quickly. “Is Emily okay? Our baby?”

A grin bloomed over Derek’s face. “They’re fine, Hotch. Em’s in labour.”

Even Dave stood, ignoring Strauss as he followed Hotch’s path to the door. “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go meet your baby.”

 

“Em?”

Emily met his eyes fearfully. “Aaron!”

He reached her side quickly, crouching down in front of her, his hand finding hers. “Are you okay?”

“AJ’s not supposed to come until next week,” she said frantically. “She’s early!”

“Calm down, sweetheart,” he soothed, his free hand smoothing down her hair. “Everything is going to be okay.” He turned to the team. “Garcia, find JJ. She knows where the baby bag is. Derek, help me get Emily to the car. How long between contractions?”

“I haven’t exactly been paying attention,” she growled, clenching her teeth and his hand, trying to breathe through the next one.

“Okay, let’s get to the hospital. You’ll be fine,” he tried to encourage her. He helped her up, Derek standing on her other side as they walked out of the BAU bullpen. Aaron kept his arm wrapped around her back, coaching her through the breathing they’d practiced just for this moment. His heart was pounding. His wife was going into labour. He was about to meet his second child.

He couldn’t wait.

 

Hours later and more expletives than Aaron was sure had ever come out of his wife’s mouth, he was looking down at his wife holding his little baby daughter in her arms. He’d counted her fingers and toes eight times while the entirety of his family, hers and their FBI family paraded through with congratulations and a demand to set eyes on the little baby.

“She looks just like you did,” Elizabeth had said, looking down at her first granddaughter. “Emily, she’s beautiful.”

“Just like my baby girl,” Jonathan had agreed, tears in his eyes.

Now, he sat on the edge of the bed watching. He smoothed back Emily’s hair. Even sweaty, hair pulled back in a hasty ponytail, she was absolutely stunning. Maybe it was because he knew what she’d just been through was the most beautiful thing he’d ever experienced. He’d missed Jack’s birth, he was glad he’d seen his daughter’s “You’re amazing, you know that?”

She looked up at him, humming as he kissed her. “I am?”

“Of course you are,” he replied looking over at their little baby girl. “You’re… “

She chuckled. “Honey, I’m the same woman I was sixteen hours ago.” Then her eyes went back to the little bundle in her arms. “Look what we did, Aaron.”

He smiled at the breathless tone of her voice. She sounded as awed as he felt looking down at the tiny human being wrapped gently in her arms. She looked fantastic and breath-taking holding their child, a child they’d waited nine long months for, fought over during cases, before cases, after cases…  Aaron was glad to finally see his daughter in the world.

“You and your mother are everything to me, you know that?” he said to the little sleeping baby, smoothing a hand over her head. “You, your mother and Jack. You’re worth more than anything in this world.”

She had tears in her eyes when he looked up at her, but a wide smile on her face. “Aaron…”

But he turned his eyes back to the baby. “You’re going to hate me, sweetheart. Right about your thirteenth birthday, you’re going to start hating me. But I’m only going to do it because I love you.”

“She’ll never hate you,” Emily whispered.  “She’ll love you.”

“And you are such a lucky little baby girl because your mommy is the most amazing woman I have ever met and had the privilege of falling in love with.” He saw the tears glisten in her eyes again. “And your mommy is going to love you with her whole heart and she’s going to take care of you because that’s the type of person she is.”

“Aaron…”

“And I love her.” His eyes were on hers now. “I love you, Em. For bringing this little girl into our lives, for marrying me, for… for everything.”

She took one of her hands out from under her daughter, supporting her small body against her chest while she brought his head down to hers, kissing him with everything in her. “I love you too, Aaron.”


	41. Chapter 41

JJ stood in front of the nursery window, her eyes locked on little Anna-Joy Kristen Hotchner. Her thumb nail was in her mouth as she watched the baby girl sleep. The rest of the team was in with Emily, but JJ hadn’t been able to stand there and watch all of the happiness when part of her wasn’t up to the task. She wanted to be happy for her best friend, really she did and part of her was happy. The other part… well, both of her best friends now had kids. Both of them had little baby girls and both of them were close in age. JJ wanted to be a part of that.

“Emily’s worried about you.”

She managed a little bit of a smile as Spencer came up beside her, his hand brushing hers. “I’ll be fine.”

“Jenn-“

“Don’t,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to have this conversation now. I don’t want to do this here.”

Spencer blew out a breath. “I just want you to understand where I’m coming from.”

“I do,” she replied, “I know exactly where you’re coming from. I want you to see my end. I want you to be open-minded for a few minutes because times have changed, Spence. There are things we can do. And you don’t have schizophrenia to begin with.”

“I could develop it. I’m not putting you and a child through that.”

“Could, would, should…. Those types of thoughts are what broke us up the first time. I should know, I was the one having them.”

He took her hands, turning her away from the window. “I can’t risk it, Jenn. I can’t.”

“Why not?” JJ asked, her voice breaking despite her inner wishes.

Spencer dropped her hands, running one of them through his hair. “Do you know what you’re asking of me? You’re asking me to bring a child into the world when I’m not even sure if I can support him or her a few years down the line. Do you know what that means, Jenn?”

“Of course I do! But I’m not going to walk away, Spence. I’m not going to walk out on you or a baby. I couldn’t do that. I’ve fought too hard to be where we are for me to just give it up.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because I do,” she said. “You have to trust me.”

Spencer’s eyes went to the nursery filled with newborns, with new life. Then they met hers again, those eyes that were breaking his heart. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

JJ could literally feel her heart breaking. She did the only thing she could think of, tears blurring her vision as she pulled off her wedding band and pressed it into his palms. “Then this is never going to work.”

She was off down the hall before Spencer could really get a handle on what was going on and she counted on that. She made her way almost blindly through the hallways, managing to make it back to Emily’s room, relieved to find the brunette both awake and alone.

“JJ?”

“I’m sorry, Em,” she said, tears starting to flow. Her breath hitched.

“JJ, what happened? What’s going on?”

“I need… I need to go. I need to get away. I need-“

“Honey, what’s going on?” Emily said, wishing she could get up and reach out to her friend.

But JJ shook her head. “I wanted to say congratulations, that she’s beautiful. I wish I could stay, but I need to go. I need to get out of here, far away. I’ll call you, okay?”

Emily’s brow knitted in serious concern but she nodded. “Okay, okay. Call me tomorrow, let me know where you went.”

JJ nodded, racing out of the room again, through the halls and out into the cold January air. She could now feel the tear tracks down her cheeks and looked down at her now bare ring finger. What had she been thinking? What had she been doing pretending to herself that he had finally started to trust her again? She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and turned it on, finding her cell phone in her pocket. She pulled it out.

“JJ?”

She looked up at Dave, taking her coat from his outstretched hands. “What are you doing here?”

“You ran out of Emily’s room like it was on fire. What’s going on?”

JJ shook her head adamantly. “Nothing. I just needed a minute.”

“Honey, you’re crying,” Dave said.

“I know, I know,” she said. “It’s… “

“What happened, JJ. Why aren’t you wearing your wedding band?”

“Do you have to be so damned pushy, Rossi? What do I have to do to make you understand I just don’t want to talk about it?” He held up his hands in surrender and she blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I just… I need to get out of here.”

“I’ll take you home,” he offered immediately.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to go home. I want to get away, get out of here.”

“Okay,” he said immediately. “We’ll get you out of Washington.  I have a friend of mine with a condo in New York, you can be there in an hour.”

JJ nodded, pushing herself away from the wall and falling into step beside him. She needed to get away, she needed to have time. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he told her seriously. “All you have to do is ask.”

“Jenn!”

She knew she shouldn’t do it, knew she shouldn’t turn, but she couldn’t stop herself from turning at his voice. Sure enough, Spencer was running out of the doors she’d exited only minutes before. “What do you want.”

“Come on, Jenn, wait.”

“For what?” she asked scathingly. “For you to break my heart again? No. I can’t. You’ve said your piece. You don’t trust me.”

“Stop and listen,” he urged. “I didn’t mean it.”

She met his eyes head on, allowing every ounce of pain to show in her body, face and posture. “Then you shouldn’t have said it.”

Her heart broke again as she turned and walked away.


	42. Chapter 42

“JJ did what?” Penelope exclaimed upon visiting Emily in the hospital the next day, Gabi in tow.

Emily sighed as she adjusted AJ on her chest. She enjoyed spending time with her daughter and all but begged the nurses to bring her around whenever they could. “JJ went to New York. She called me this morning.”

Penelope wrinkled her brow. “I didn’t know JJ and Reid were planning a trip.”

“They weren’t,” Emily replied. “Pen… JJ gave him her ring back.”

Penelope’s eyes widened. “What?!”

It had taken Emily the better part of forty-five minutes on the phone to get the whole story out of the blond and even then, it had taken endless wells of patience to listen through the tears. While Emily understood the fundamental problem and could definitely see where JJ as coming from, she thought the youngest member of their little Charlie’s Angels squad was overreacting by giving the ring back. Couples fought, it was a thing, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t solve things.

“Why would she do that?”

“Reid told her he couldn’t trust her.”

Penelope shook her head. “Why did he do that? How did he do that? I don’t understand!”

“They were talking about babies,” Emily replied, cradling her own little AJ close. “Reid doesn’t want to deal with the possibility of his child becoming schizophrenic.”

“That was the best argument he could come up with?”

“Well, he is awkward with Jack, but I’m sure between Jack, Gabi and AJ we can teach him about kids,” Emily said quietly. “Pen... she was a mess.”

Penelope nodded, a thought already forming in her head. “I’ll bet. When do you get out of here?”

“If AJ keeps being all healthy, tomorrow. Both of us. Why?”

“I’m thinking we need to head to New York.”

Emily managed an indulgent smile. “You go ahead, Pen. I’m not going to take Annie and I’m not going to leave her at home. I just gave birth to her.”

“I understand,” Penelope said, even as she pouted. “I was the same way after Gabi was born. I did not want to leave her side.”

The brunette cocked her head to the side. “But maybe New York would be a good vacation for you. Take Derek, go around Central Park with Gabi. It’s a beautiful place.”

“Do you know where she’s staying?” Penelope asked, standing and moving to where her daughter had been playing quietly on the floor. She smiled, saying quietly that it was time to leave.

“No. She said something about Rossi offering her a place to stay.”

“Is that really a good idea?” Penelope asked, raising an eyebrow. “JJ turning immediately to Rossi?”

“Logically? Probably not, but it’s not like she really had either of us to turn to.”

“Why not?” Penelope gasped.

“You were at home, I’m a little indisposed. Plus, all of my get-away places are in foreign countries, not all that helpful if Reid wanted to follow her.”

“Do we want our boy genius to follow her?”

Emily sighed. “Right now, Pen, I have no idea.”

 

David Rossi had absolutely no idea what in the name of everything that is holy he was doing. What he did know was that there was a traumatized blond in his New York condo – he’d lied, knowing there was no way she’d agree to take that as her hideaway knowing it was his – and it was all the fault of the gangly little genius he worked with. That was the only explanation he could come up with for why he was currently striding up the steps to said genius’ apartment with the full intention of giving the kid a piece of his mind.

“Agent Rossi?”

Dave knew that he was the last person Reid wanted to see at that particular moment. At the same time, he knew that Reid would take a slight bit of comfort in seeing him at the front door rather than missing along with JJ. “We need to talk.”

Reid’s eyes hardened. “With all due respect, I don’t think so.”

Yet, Dave knew he still held the trump card. “I know where she is, Reid.”

And as he predicted, the door stopped three-quarters from closing. “She told you?”

“I offered,” Dave answered. “Can I come in?”

It was with reluctance that Reid allowed him into the apartment. Touches of JJ were all over the place, things Dave could easily recognize as part of her light. And Reid looked a little worse for wear.

“Make it fast, Rossi.”

“I don’t care what happened between you and JJ. What I care about is how quickly you’re going to fix this.”

“I can’t when I don’t know where she is!”

He sounded frantic, something that actually made Dave feel a little bit better. “Which is why you are going to listen carefully and then you’re going to fix this.”

Reid dropped his hands into his pockets, silent.

“You are a lucky bastard, Spencer Reid,” Dave began, folding his arms across his chest. “That woman is... something so incredibly special.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“Then what in your right mind made you break her heart? Shatter it to a million pieces? I got her side of the story, Dr Reid, and I’m here to hear yours.”

“Why?”

“Because for some unknown reason she absolutely adores you. And regardless of how much pain she’s in right now, there is no one who can make her feel better but you,” Dave replied.

“And you’re here to fix it?”

Dave narrowed his eyes. “JJ and I made a mistake, Reid. A mistake. Drop it. That has nothing to do with what we’re discussing now.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Dave replied scathingly. “If I wanted her all to myself do you think I’d be here right now? I’ve never given her a reason not to trust me and she’s never given me a reason not to trust her.”

“She walked away once,” Reid spat. “What makes you think that she won’t do it again?”

“Because that’s not the type of person JJ is. She didn’t let go.”

“She’s never been with someone schizophrenic. She has no idea what it’s like.”

“And you think that the minute you show the first signs she’s going to walk away? Because that’s the fundamental problem here, isn’t it? That you don’t trust her to stay at your side. And yet you know JJ probably better than almost the rest of the team.”

“It’s more than that.”

“It’s about her wanting a child. It’s about how worried you are that schizophrenia is going to be passed on to that kid regardless of the massive advancements in medical technology over the last twenty, thirty years. They can find that, Reid, they can test for that.”

“It’s still a possibility,” Reid replied. “I won’t do that to a child.”

“And you won’t do that to yourself. Do you even know the likelihood of passing on schizophrenia?”

“The chance is still there.”

“And it’s so low it’s negligible!” Dave exclaimed. He was taking a perverse pleasure in seeing the younger man squirm. Because if he couldn’t have JJ, he wanted to make sure the man who did would take the best care of her possible.

Reid folded her arms over his chest as silence settled over them for a few minutes. “Why are you here?”

“Because Reid, JJ is in _pain_ and you’re the reason she is. And I want to know why. She’s in love with you, and that’s what matters.”


	43. Chapter 43

Emily grinned as Aaron all but jumped out of the car when they pulled into the driveway, little AJ happily asleep in the back seat. Today, Mommy and Baby were coming home for the first time and Emily knew Aaron was excited to have his baby girl at home. The man was meant to be part of a family, meant to be a father. AJ was more than lucky to have him.

“Emily! Aaron!”

Emily looked up from sliding slowly from the SUV to see their next-door neighbour, Mildred Taber, making her way down her driveway and around on the sidewalk. She found herself holding her breath, watching carefully to make sure the older woman didn’t slip and fall in her haste. Snow had fallen and made the ground slippery. She did, however, willingly hold her arms out for the older woman when she made it around with a wide grin. “Good morning, Mildred.”

“I’m so glad to see you home from the hospital all safe and sound. Aaron says everything went well.”

“She was a little bit stubborn, but everything was fine,” Emily promised. “It’s the first time in a long time I’ve come home from the hospital without stitches.”

“Good, good. Now is this the little one?” Mildred’s eyes lit up as they landed on the carrier that Aaron was just pulling out of the SUV.

“Why don’t we go inside?” he suggested. “I’d prefer mother and daughter be inside where it’s warm.”

“Of course, of course,” Mildred agreed allowing Emily to link her arm with the older woman’s as they made their way up the stairs. “How much did she weigh?”

“Just over seven pounds,” Emily answered, reaching back for Aaron’s keys. The baby bag, her bag and her purse were still in the car. She hadn’t bothered with them and knew Aaron was too anxious to get AJ inside to really care. There wasn’t anything particularly important in there anyway.

“And she was all healthy?”

“She cried almost immediately. I was so relieved,” Emily replied with a grin.

Mildred nodded. “Well, let me know when you’re going back to work, dear, and I’ll watch over the little one. What’s her name?”

“Anna-Joy Kristen,” Aaron replied proudly.

“And Mildred, we couldn’t ask you to watch her. We’ll find something.”

\--

Aaron shot a knowing look to his wife. There was no way Emily was going to trust their daughter with just anyone. It wasn’t in Emily’s nature to be able to simply trust a stranger with something as important as her first born. He had a feeling it was going to be difficult for both of them to watch AJ grow up. Because Aaron was going to be there for every second of his daughter’s life, every step, every word, the day she started school, the day she started grade school... he was going to see every moment.

Which made him sigh. There was no way both of them could travel at the same time as AJ grew up. Someone had to be home for their baby girl and as much as he loved the extended BAU family, it just wasn’t going to be the same as having her parents around. Which meant one of them was going to have to leave the BAU. They both loved their jobs and while they’d been able to stay together and get married while being on the same team, a child was a completely different step in their lives.

Could he leave the BAU? For his child, he would, easily. But he knew Emily would never go with it. She knew how much the BAU meant to him, knew that he, in some ways, felt like the BAU was his baby just as much as it was Rossi’s or Gideon’s. He also knew the way Emily would argue with him about it, rationally pointing out that she wasn’t the one he hand-picked and as much as she loved the job, she loved him and AJ more. She could leave, she wasn’t essential to the unit. And yet, she was. Hadn’t they proven that time and time again the times she was out of the field? He knew Derek had made sure to tell her how much she was loved and missed while she was away and Emily had to know how off JJ often was without her partner in crime and another female influence. The agent they’d had replacing Emily for the time being just wasn’t the same as the woman herself.

So how were they supposed to reconcile their daughter with the fact that they loved their jobs and were virtually indispensible to the unit? How were they supposed to make a decision as to which one of them was going to leave? He’d do it in an instant for his child and for her, and he knew she would do the same. She’d done it once before for him, though he hadn’t seen it that way at the time. Nevertheless, to ask her to do it just seemed unfair.

“Aaron?”

“Sorry,” he apologized with a smile, letting go of the carrier he hadn’t realized his wife was tugging on. “Got lost there.”

“Anything you want to share with the class?” Emily asked in concern.

He tried for a reassuring smile. “Later,” he promised.

Her smile wasn’t the million-watt one he loved, but it was a smile nonetheless. “I was going to go put her down.”

“I’ll come back when the little one’s up and around,” Mildred said as she stood. She pulled Emily into a hug. “She’s beautiful.”

Now Emily gave that full wattage smile he loved. “Thank you, Mildred. I’ll call you tomorrow when she’s awake.”

“You do that. And you,” Mildred turned on him. “You take care of these two, you hear?”

He chuckled. “I will,” he promised.

Emily seemed to sag when Mildred left. “I wasn’t expecting company.”

“With Mildred we rarely are,” he pointed out. “Come on, let’s put AJ to bed.”

She blew out another breath. “We’re going to have to finish the nursery around her. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to, but I guess things just got so busy.”

Aaron had to bite his cheeks against the smile he felt blooming. Little did she know the nursery was already finished, and had been for a few weeks. But since AJ’s birth was supposed to almost coincide with Emily’s early February birthday, he’d planned to hold off until then and show it to her the few days before AJ’s doctor-specified birthday. But apparently, as stubborn as their little girl seemed to be, she was impatient too. Indecisive. She’d probably grow out of that if her parents were any indication.

“Okay, this is the second time you’ve floated off on me. What’s going on?”

He looked up, actually surprised to see her at the bottom of the stairs, having pulled AJ from her car seat. His breath caught at the sight of mother and daughter as it had almost every time he’d been treated to the picture. “Let’s put her down, okay?”

“You’re hiding something from me,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “What are you hiding Aaron Hotchner?”

He chuckled, making his way over to her in a few quick steps and putting a hand on her back to guide her up the steps. They made their way down the hall to the door that was AJ’s room and Aaron bit his cheeks against a smile as he put his hand on the doorknob. Her eyes were fixed on AJ, so he opened the door and simply waited. Her rather loud gasp was the first thing that clued him into the moment she noticed.

\--

Emily was in awe. The room was beautiful and cute, painted a bright yellow since Aaron had never learned the sex of little AJ, with an old Winnie-the-Pooh border. The furniture was together, the lights up, even the little mobile Penelope and JJ had purchased especially for AJ was hanging over the crib prepared to happily distract the little infant.

“Aaron,” she breathed in surprise. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do it all myself,” he murmured, pushing her slightly into the room and wrapping his arm around both of his girls as Emily took the place in. “Does it get the Emily Hotchner stamp of approval?”

“Aaron... This is...”

“Amazing? Exemplary? Completely the opposite of what you wanted?”

“Perfect,” she interrupted before he could continue listing adjectives. She wandered over to the crib, her eyes still taking in everything around her. Gently laying AJ down, she took in the room slowly, spinning. “How did you do this?”

“With some serious help,” he replied. “Dave and Morgan pitched in. Even Reid, who cannot paint, by the way. And for all of his genius, he’s not good with straight lines either.”

“Then what did he do?” she asked, following him over to the crib where they could look down on their sleeping baby.

He kissed the side of her head. “Read instructions. Supervised. I think he could do my job.”

Emily chuckled and leaned up to kiss his chin. Before returning her eyes to AJ “I doubt it. I doubt anyone would let him. He’s happy being in the background.”

“And what about you? Would you take my job?”

She looked up at him. This was now more than just a conversation about Reid’s abilities. “I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “Why?”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, stroking her upper arm. “Someone needs to be here for her.”

That held her attention and widened her eyes. “You’re not thinking of leaving, are you?”

“One of us probably should. We have a family to think of.”

“I’ve already been looking. And I have to be home with AJ for the next little while anyway,” she replied. “You can’t leave the BAU.”

“Em, that’s not an argument this time,” he told her. “My love for the job or my seeming necessity in the unit aren’t viable arguments.”

“They are _always_ good arguments,” she replied, her voice still soft because of the sleeping infant. “You can’t leave that job, Aaron.”

“What if I want to?”

“I won’t believe it. You forget, I know you. I know you wouldn’t leave the unit.”

“I’d leave the unit for you and for AJ.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. And before you tell me you’re offering, I don’t buy it.”

“Emily...”

“Don’t. I don’t want to talk to you about this now, not when I just got home,” she said softly, moving closer and all but cuddling into his side.

\--

Aaron sighed, he didn’t want to talk about it either, but it was something that they seriously needed to consider. AJ was important to both of them, that much he knew and he didn’t want her to feel obligated to leave simply because she was AJ’s mother. He wanted her to consider him changing jobs not because he felt he needed to, but because he wanted to be there for his daughter.

“I don’t want this to turn into a guilt thing, Aaron,” she whispered. “I don’t want you to think you have to leave the BAU to make sure that you do things for AJ that you didn’t do for Jack.”

He forgot she could virtually read his mind. “That wouldn’t be the motivation why, Emily,” he said into her hair.

“You don’t know that. I don’t know that,” she replied. She took his hands, turning to face him “I’ll make you a deal.”

Her deals tended to work out in his favour. He had been a prosecutor, giving him time to prepare his arguments rarely worked out for her. “I’m listening.”

“We both look for a year. We see if there’s other jobs that we can do in this area that will keep us close to AJ. In a year we’ll talk about this again,” she proposed.

A year would give him more than enough time to give her effective arguments as to why he should be the one to transfer. “Okay,” he agreed.

She tipped her head back. “Seal it with a kiss?”

He chuckled. “Oh yeah.”


	44. Chapter 44

“Jayje, come on. Don’t you think you’re over-reacting?” Penelope asked, watching Gabi toddle about the massive living room of Rossi’s Upper East Side apartment. She and Gabi had made the trip themselves because Derek hadn’t wanted to leave the unit with any less agents. He was planning to drive up that evening. Meanwhile, Penelope’s job was to convince JJ that she was over-reacting. Which was proving to be harder than she thought.

“What kind of marriage is founded on a relationship without trust?” JJ retorted. She was literally curled in a ball in one of Rossi’s armchairs, a blanket wrapped around her small frame.

“Do you blame him?” Penelope inquired, reaching out to quickly and skilfully removing a glass figurine from Gabi’s small fingers and instead inserting one of her toys. When she looked up she caught the longing in JJ’s eyes. “Jayje, why do you want to have a baby?”

“Because I want to have a family,” JJ responded, sounding as if Penelope was missing the obvious.

“Okay, let me rephrase the question. Why do you want to have a baby _now_?”

JJ shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You’re still young, sweet cheeks. It’s not the same situation as Em. And as much as I will never regret my baby girl she was an accident,” Penelope pointed out. “Why are you in such a hurry to have a family? Or a better question would be why your family definition has to include a child.”

“Why is everyone on his side?”

Penelope simply raised an eyebrow. “Probably because you’re acting a little bit like a rebellious thirteen-year-old who isn’t getting her way?” she shot back swiftly. “You didn’t stick around to try to figure it out. You ran, and you didn’t just run, you allowed Agent Rossi to help, the main rival for the man you call your husband. So I’m sorry if I’m trying to get you to see reason here.”

JJ blew out a breath. “I thought this was about how Spence didn’t trust me.”

“Which brings us back to whether or not you can blame him,” Penelope responded, scooping Gabi into her arms before the one-year-old could knock over a vase she seemed intent on.

JJ shook her head. “How do you catch her before she breaks something?”

“Practice,” Penelope replied moving back to the couch with Gabi in her arms. “But don’t change the subject on me here.”

“Is this where you start listing off my numerous indiscretions?” JJ asked, her words biting.

“PMS much? No need to be snappish,” Penelope admonished. “You made some terrible decisions.”

“And I’m not happy about them,” JJ replied. “But I know I’ve made them. I can’t change them now.”

“No,” Penelope agreed. “But have you and Boy Wonder talked about any of it?”

“Why would we?” JJ asked. “It’s in the past.”

“Apparently not,” Penelope pointed out. She sighed, moving to put Gabi in the nearby playpen so she could sit on the arm of JJ’s chair and run her fingers soothingly through her hair. “All of that aside, honey, I think you guys are ready to bring a child into the world. You went straight from break up to marriage without another dating period. So here’s what I think. I think you two need to make sure your relationship is solid before you can consider bringing stunning little geniuses into the world.”

A knock on the door ended their conversation before JJ said anything in reply. Penelope couldn’t stop the grin that blossomed over her face. Being with Derek had that effect on her. So she removed Gabi from the playpen, setting her on her two little feet in the front hallway as JJ pulled open the door to Derek’s grinning face. The toddler took off as fast as her unbalanced legs could carry her. It wasn’t until Derek scooped his little princess into his arms that she noticed Spencer Reid hanging back in the hallway.

Derek caught her anxious gaze as he pressed a chaste kiss to JJ’s stunned cheek. “I thought I could take my two girls out to Central Park.”

Penelope bit her lip. JJ hadn’t had time to process any of what she said. She wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to virtually throw JJ to the wolves. And yet, Derek’s eyes were imploring her trust him. “Jayje, can you grab the stroller? Derek, we’re going to have to bundle Gabi up.”

Spencer continued to stand awkwardly in the front hallway as Derek followed Penelope to the couch, laying his baby girl in the snowsuit Penelope put out for her.

“Derek, I don’t know if leaving them alone is a good idea,” Penelope murmured just loud enough for Derek to hear. She didn’t look at him, just helped Gabi put her arm in the sleeve of her snowsuit. “JJ needs time to process the things we talked about today, she can’t just talk to him.”

He kissed the side of her head. “You’re going to have to trust them, Mama.”

The panicked look JJ shot her when she returned with the stroller almost made her change her mind. Nevertheless, Penelope settled her daughter into the stroller. All of the parties involved were silent as Penelope settled and buckled Gabi into the stroller. It wasn’t until Derek, Penelope and Gabi were in the elevator that either of them spoke. “You could have called, told me you were bringing him.”

“So you could freak her out? Pen, come on. He all but begged me anyway. What was I supposed to say, ‘no’?”

“He came to you?” Penelope asked, easily linking her arm with his as they exited the elevator and crossed the street to Central Park. Leave it to David Rossi to have an apartment right on the edge of Central Park.

“Mama, he came to me. Rattled off the address too. Was I really supposed to tell him he had to wait for her to come home? We aren’t even sure she is going to come home at the end of the weekend.”

Penelope sighed. “It makes perfect sense,” she agreed. “But I don’t have to like it. My gumdrop is not fully sure what to do with herself.”

“She’s avoiding the issues,” Derek replied.

Penelope snorted her agreement. “Probably an understatement, Gorgeous.”

“She’s not the only one.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking up at him.

“We’ve been avoiding a few things of our own, Princess.”

Her brow wrinkled in confusion and worry. “We have issues?”

He pulled her over to a nearby bench, sitting her down and settling Gabi’s stroller just off to the side. “Not bad issues.”

That only increased her confusion. “Then I don’t understand.”

“How long have we been together, Pen?”

“About two years,” she answered promptly.

He nodded. “And friends even longer.”

“Derek, where are you going with this?”

“When you were pregnant, before Ellie was born, when we started our relationship, I had goals in mind,” he began reaching into his pocket to pull out a small, black, velvet box. He tossed it in his hand. “I knew I was in this for the long haul. I knew that there would be nothing else for me.”

Penelope’s breath had caught in her throat, her heart all but stopping in her chest. “Derek, what are you doing?”

“I didn’t want you to doubt anything. I didn’t want you to think that I was around just because of our baby girl. I didn’t want you to think that I was doing the right or honourable thing. So I promised myself that I’d make sure you knew that I absolutely love you, and I love Ellie.”

Tears sprung to her eyes. “I know you do,” she promised. “I know you love me.”

“Marry me, Penelope.”

Her hand shook as she reached out to touch the box. “Derek,” she breathed, her excitement overwhelming the feeling of cold on her face from her tears. She let out a sob as he flipped open the box to show her the diamond and ruby ring he’d picked out for her.

“Marry me.”

There was absolutely no doubt in her mind when she nodded, her right hand coming up to cover her mouth as she held out her left for him to slip the ring on her finger. “Yes.”


	45. Chapter 45

“I... um...” JJ began, trying to take a deep breath. “I owe you a really big apology.”

He sighed, and it was only then she noticed he’d pulled her wedding ring out of his pocket. “JJ are we ready to do this?”

She found her breath catching in her throat at the thought. “Yes.”

“I don’t know,” he told her honestly. “We rushed into it. We went to Vegas and _eloped_ for goodness sakes and you and I don’t have the best track record as it is with a relationship.”

“But we can,” she said, trying to hide everything that was running through her.

“Not if you’re going to keep running off when we need to have a conversation. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep chasing you every time we get into a situation where I say something that hurts. And we both know that there is no way I can promise that I won’t hurt you. Not with the way we’ve been going.”

“I know,” she admitted. “And I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sure if that’s going to fix things.”

JJ felt her heart speed up. She’d screwed this up once, arguably twice. She had to force her breath to stay even. “What do you mean?”

“There’s so much between us, Jenn. There’s so much baggage. We tried once to do this, proved we couldn’t even date. Then... Then we got married, and it was impulsive, for both of us. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be together.”

Silence fell as JJ tried to get a hold of her thoughts. They were scattered, panicked, but panicking wasn’t going to help her in this situation. “I love you.”

“Love isn’t always enough,” he said, finally closing the space between them and cupping her face in his hands. “I love you too, Jenn, but we can’t keep doing this.”

“I don’t want to keep doing this,” she confided.

He met her eyes, holding them ruthlessly. “Then stop running.”

“I’ve always run,” she said, closing her eyes in an attempt to hold back from his stare. “I’ve always run.”

“Then I’m not sure we can make this work. Maybe rushed into this. We should have known better after the last time...”

“No,” she whispered. “Don’t talk like that. Please.”

“Maybe this just isn’t for us.”

“No.”

“Prove to me otherwise, Jenn. Prove to me that this is worth it. I mean... Do you know what it’s like from my end? Do you know it what it’s like to have to keep chasing you? Do you know what it’s like to have the guy your wife slept with come to tell you where she is?”

“And I know I made a mistake!” she exclaimed. “I knew I had a lot of work to do to get you to trust me and I thought you did. Apparently not.”

“Can you blame me?” he asked quietly.

All of her anger drained out of her. “No. I can’t.” Which, ironically, brought her full circle.

“Jenn, I don’t think we’re ready for kids.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I think we’ve proven that we’re not ready for kids, Jenn. I want to make this work. I want to learn to trust you again. I need to do that without the added pressure of an extra little life in the mix.”

“Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“I agreed with you.”

“Sorry?”

“I agreed with you. I think we’ve proven we’re not ready for kids.” It had been almost painful for JJ to say that, but, her conversation with Penelope still rang in her head. As much as she wanted children, it was wrong to want to bring a child into a marriage that had started off on rocky terms to begin with. She loved Spencer, there was no question about that, and they’d proven that they would come back to each other but they’d also proven that there were things they had to deal with, things they had to solve before they could bring a little life into the world.

“You agreed.”

JJ almost had to sit on her hands to keep her from reaching out to him. “You have the right not to trust me. You’ll probably never know how incredibly sorry I am for a lot of what happened. And I don’t think I’m in the right mindset to be having a child, no matter how much I want one. I’m not as old as Emily or Pen, I have time to have a family. We have time to figure things out. I want to figure things out.”

\--

Spencer blinked. The JJ he thought he’d known so well had just completely surprised him. Usually, she went after everything she wanted with determination and stubbornness and he knew it was that determination that more often than not got her way. Yet here she was, telling him she wanted to bring a child into the world, but maybe now wasn’t the time to do it. It didn’t calm his fears about schizophrenia or the possibility of passing the disease onto a child, but it gave him time to think about it, to consider the possibilities. Maybe, a few years down the road when their relationship was so much more stable, they would change their minds and have a child. For now, it just wasn’t the right time.

He took her hands. “I really want to believe you.”

“Let’s start from the beginning,” she proposed softly. “As if we were dating again. No pressure, no kid talk, no marriage talk. We try and really make this work. I’ll try and really make this work.”

“What does that mean?” He wanted her to say it. He wanted to make sure he was getting himself into something that wasn’t going to destroy him in the end. For he knew, and had proven, that he’d always come back to her, no matter how painful it was.

“I promise to stop running,” she began slowly. “I promise to come to you when I have issues, no matter how painful they are, no matter how high the likelihood is that we’ll fight about it. I promise to try and talk through the hurt and the pain. I promise to put all of myself into this relationship and stop putting up walls.”

He sucked in a breath. It was a lot for her to promise. He could only see sincerity and apology in her eyes as they bored into his hopefully. “One more chance, Jenn. I’ll try this once more. If you break one of those promises then we’re done. We have to be done.”

She looked up at him, and he didn’t quite know what to make of her expression. “Okay,” she said softly. She bit her lip and he could see the vulnerability and apprehension in her stance. “Take me home, Spence?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “Let’s go home.” 


End file.
